Cover Up

My friend and I were discussing some of the errr umm gentlemen that pass through our office via the John School. JS is a diversion program for men that are 1st time offenders for soliciting the services of sex trade workers. Many of them are married and yes many of them have children as well. They attend a one day course which can include various speakers such as former Johns, former sex workers, the police, community members & public health who have a wonderful section on STD's which of course include colourful pictures.

So my friend and I were discussing how 97% of the partners of these men are completely unaware that their significant other has been out looking for sex with another person. In some cases, the men will admit that this is their 1st time getting caught however, they have a sex addiction and have done this hundreds of times before. Some are just lonely old men who can't get laid, others are professionals who could have their pick of ladies or men.

This is quite scary and got me thinking about safer sex and condoms. I know a lot of people once in a "monogamous" relationship will forgo the condoms because they are only sleeping with each other.....or so they think. There's this false sense of security....I say false because people cheat all of the time. I see them come through my office, head hung in shame "she/he can never find out." Sad part is, she/he probably never will.
So when do you think it's ok to stop practicing safe sex? I can honestly say that even if I were to get married, the poor bugger that gets stuck with me will most likely be wearing one for the rest of his life. Blame it on the perspective my work has given me....or perhaps my common sense :)

After a long weekend of kayaking, movies and a very early breakfast I've opted to name 8 random things about myself as JLee did.

1. I am absolutely terrified of what I call gagillipedes (the ones with a million legs that run really really fast .... BLEH) as well as spiders and really almost any insect. I just find them terribly creepy to the point where I actually will have a mini panic attack shall I say. Heart starts to race, I feel scared and sometimes I even cry. Not only shameful but ridiculous as well.

2. I dislike salt and will eat it if it is already on something, but on very very rare occasions will I actually add it to a dish.

3. I can get both of my legs behind my head. I took dance class for 10 years which helped with flexibility haha

4. I like Nickelback....yes you read that right. Everyone I know loathes them. I wouldn't buy an album or go and see them live or anything, but if they are on the radio I will sing along.

5. Which brings me to this answer, I'll sing just about anywhere and everywhere. In the car, in a store if I dig a song I will sing along. I've called up LD on many occasions to sing her a song on her answering machine "Who sings this?"

6. My self esteem is essentially non existant however I'm working on it :)

7. I would really love to go skydiving, tandem of course. If I can get the courage I may even do it before the summer ends.

8. I absolutely hate sorting socks, it's torturous for me. I only wear black socks and am ready to buy about 30 pairs of the exact same ones so I won't have to sort them any longer. It's just so tedious, some are shorter, some are longer, some have little designs.....ugh hate it.

As most of you know I sometimes watch questionable television programs haha. I absolutely love dancing so it should be no surprise that I am enjoying this season of So You Think You Can Dance. I generally enjoy the funky hip hop routines and the popping however, this dance really struck a chord with me. It seems to represent passion, turmoil and struggle within a relationship. Plus the song rocks(Dancing by Elisa), check it out:



And Elisa live at the Vatican with an orchestra, man she has a beautiful voice:

HNT

Well the bruise is healing nicely as you can see LOL, it's freaking huge and still quite sore. Hope it is better for Monday or I imagine there will be a permanent mark on my leg all summer long as it will never have any time to heal.

I was listening to the radio the other day and they had the top 25 songs to "get busy to". Now I didn't get to hear the whole show nor which song came in at #1, however the songs I heard left me rather confused.

* Heart Shaped Box by Nirvana

Hmmm I'm not thinking lyrics like "I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black" would really turn me on.

Granted there were a few that made sense :

*Darling Nikki (originally by Prince) but covered by The Foo Fighters

"I knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say she was a sex fiend I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine she said how'd you like to waste some time and I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind" Now that is a hot song, even the Foo's version will do.

My guess is NIN's Closer was #1 but i'd rather not know as that song is soooooo over played. I love NIN and they have so many other great songs, however you are not likely to hear them very often as Closer seems to take over the airwaves.

So what songs do you like to "get busy to?" (I think at this point i'd even welcome Heart Shaped Box into my room if I could find someone to spend some errr ahhh special time with haha)

Where's Ron Jeremy?

So it was an interesting weekend considering I did not make any plans and wanted to lounge and relax. As most of you know I'm an absolute baby when it comes to lightening and storms and have a terrible time driving in such weather. PP and I made dinner plans however I was rather hesitent about driving in the storm. She suggested I drive to her house before it started and she would then drive us to the restaurant. It wasn't so bad out when I left so I continued on to the restaurant to meet her (after she made fun of me and my ridiculous fear for almost cancelling). Hmm turns out her neighbours 40 foot tree came crashing into their pool, and if my memory serves me correctly, last time we had a lightning storm a tree in her back yard got hit. Not exactly the place I want to be in such weather but thanks for the offer :P

(I *gasp* stayed home on Friday evening read a bit & watched some tv)

On Saturday afternoon I somehow ended up at the Sex Show in TO with a friend who wanted her photo taken with Ron Jeremy. It was a small event as the real show happens in October, but we saw some errr ahh interesting things whilst there. I may or may not have purchased a little something as well haha. If my mood becomes much more pleasant in the next few weeks it will surely be from my earlier bedtime rather than anything I may or may not have purchased at the show. We never did find Ron but figured we could wait until October. We did however see this rather talented gentleman:

I purchased a very comfy lounger on Sunday and made good use of it while basking in the sun, reading and drinking iced tea. God that felt good.

I just got back from volleyball and had a mid air collision with a teammate as we were both eager to spike the ball. We landed in a mangled, crumpled mess with body parts intertwined and sand all over our bodies. I got to take home a swollen shin, thigh and foot. They are all turning a lovely bluish hue and should be nice and sore tomorrow. Here's a sneak peak below:This last bit is inspired by 2DP's blog. He often likes to end with a pleasant photo, I too shall do so on this fine day.

Jobs

My 1st job was at an amusement park. I was 16 and continued on until the ripe ole age of 19. Those were actually some of the best times of my life, not sure if it was the people I met or the age itself. I didn't really have any cares or responsibilities at that time (other than to finish high school and get good grades), life was one big party.

I met a great group of people who continue to be some of my closest friends even today. We developed traditions in our early years: May 2-4 camping every year.....no matter how cold or muddy we were all there, driving 45 minutes every Friday to hit up our favorite bar (this went on for like 6 years) and of course every payday, the entire park went to the same bar to have a few bevvies together. We went to Bush Parties, camped out by the Humane Society, at the beach & have many ridiculous stories to go along. There was the time we went camping LD & I spent alllll night long hiding from a few suitors. The next morning Mikey hit a pole & ran out of gas when we were rushing to work. At the Humane Society camping extravaganza, Donnie and I were the last two left as everyone else had gone to work. We woke up to find his car broken and some strange man parked beside us. He drove us down the road to a payphone and we walked into work late. Why he wouldn't drive us the extra 5 minutes down the road to work was beyond us. There was the time LD threw up on her way into work, right in front of the children's fountain.....she was sent home. Oh yes, and the time Jean Claude Van Damn made an appearance Sher and I were covered in chicken guts ewe. On more than one occasion before the restaurant opened you could find us sleeping errr napping in the staff area just before work, trying to catch even 20 minutes of shut eye. How we functioned on 2-3 hours of sleep I will never know.

We would often test the limits and see what kind of shenanigans we could get away with while inside working as well. The guys would be in charge of the kegs......and often helped themselves and us to a little drinky drinky every now and again. We would take extra long breaks at the far end of the lawn to see how long it would take our supervisor to find us. I was well fed those 3 or 4 years eating nachos, pizza and Fudge O Shakes. I enjoyed sitting with the polka band and listening to the very dirty jokes the men had to tell. I remember one fond evening after a staff party, breaking into the park at 2am with about 10 other workers, just to see if we could. I twisted my ankle and did a superman on top of a huge pile of dirt.....but it was fun and exciting. I would never dream of doing such a thing at this age, to be carefree and young again......I miss those days!!!

What was your 1st job?

Busy Busy Busy

It was a very full weekend and I shant bore you with elaborate details however We Will Rock You was fabulous. As well I was able to check out some of the free Luminato events, mostly the floating artworks exhibits around the city which were very cool. (My favorite is the 1st photo Le Grand Mobile by Xavier Veihan)
Jennifer's Roller Derby team kicked the other teams ass 117 to 78. It was exciting to watch and the crowd was really into it hooting and hollering. Here is Michael laughing and Danboy booing, we LOVED it!!!! Jennifer was even thrown into the penalty box Woo Hoo!!!!

(the above photo was taken from the Toronto Sun, shameful I know, I don't read it, I just wanted the photo as all of my photos looked like this, rather blurry)

Today was the 1st volleyball game of the season and let me tell you, my team kicked the other teams ass. Yee Haw!!! We only had 5 players as our other 3 members were busy....oh yeah, we rock :)

We had training again today for work, oh man, the instructor mentioned the vortex of despair and my co-workers and I agreed we were smack in the middle of it with no way out. We've decided to bring some games tomorrow to amuse ourselves, perhaps some hangman, cross word puzzles, sudoku type of games. SERENITY NOW!!!!!!

During my wonderful training I began to think of my favorite things (How very Julie Andrews of me) and would like to know my fellow bloggers...What is your favorite holiday & why??? Mine of course is Halloween. I love the crisp cool Autumn air, the creativity of the costumes and of course everything wicked, absolutely nothing beats it, truly!!!

Roller Derby

This photo makes me howl...hilarious!!!!

I am very excited for the weekend as there are multiple events going on. I plan to spend most of Friday wandering the streets of TO shopping as well as checking out some of the free Luminato (TO's Festival of Arts & Creativity) exhibits.

(Photo Credit: Le Grand Mobile, copyright Veilhan/ADAGP Paris, 2005)

Believe it or not ("George isn't at home so leave a message at the beep"....sorry I had to) I love artsy fartsy things, unfortunately I was not bitten by the creative bug so to speak. I took music in school rather than art class so my drawings have something to be desired. I do however have some mad skills when it comes to dancing. I took Jazz for over 10 years and Ballet for a few as well so I'm a huge fan of dance and musicals. Which leads me to Friday evening, a few of us are going to see We Will Rock You Woo Hoo!! Drinks and dancing are sure to follow.

I'm also very excited for Saturday evening. Jennifer has her 1st Roller Derby bout and I will be in the audience snapping photos of her on the ground......errrr.....ahhhh cheering her on, yes that's it :)

I plan to whoop it up this weekend as Dear Lord I must attend that training again next week. I'm planning on sneaking in some Sudoku or something to liven it up a bit. I enjoy the content, it is the delivery that makes me want to sleep. I yearn to watch paint dry rather than sit there. The only saving grace on Monday will be my thoughts of sun & sand as volleyball will officially begin that evening. Rock On!! Enjoy the weekend!!!

I wanted to see the Green Fairy

It has been a rather busy weekend thus far. LD and I went over the river shopping on friday, for dinner and then to our old stomping ground. The only reason I went OTR was to pick up my favorite lipbalm, only to find out the store did not have any in stock. They did however have the same brand in these weirdo tubes that I am not a fan of however I bought a few to tide me over. Dinner was yummy, its this cute place on the beach where you can dine on the patio and look out to the water. We were the only people sitting out there as it was a tad chilly, but we could care less, it's summer :)

We then went to our oldy but goody bar and danced the night away. There is this one man in particular that we have seen at a few bars for years and years now. We went over to say hello, I thought he introduced himself as Peter, LD thought he said Damion....so we still have no idea what his name is haha.

On saturday we drove up about an hour and a half away to visit a friend for a BBQ and drinks. We were a tad late as we stopped off at the local mall to do some shopping 1st. I was in desperate need of some comfy shorts and capris for volleyball as my summer league starts next week....so excited for that!!! I started laughing as I somehow can justify spending a ridiculous amount on a few pairs of shorts and a purse, but I can't seem to dish out the $500 it would cost to get a GPS system that I would looooveeee to have. (I'm geographically challenged)
The BBQ was good and LD brought some Absente that burned like a son of a bitch going down & tasted like black licorice. It's that drink in Eurotrip where they see the green fairy. I was hoping to see one too, but I could only stomach a few shots at most. (Perhaps it's the lack of grandwormwood in this particular brand)

Today we went shopping again (I shop on weekends like WIGSF eats at restaurants haha) but just to grab some cheapie DVD's. I grabbed Little Miss Sunshine as I heard it's good and figured what the heck, Blood Diamond and another I can't recall. If the weather holds out I plan to go for a walk on the track tonight....I hope it rains :)

What did you ladies and gents get up to this weekend?

Wake me up!!

I am not a fan of this "Save Now" feature as I just wrote this huge blog and hmmmm it's gone. Here I go again.....


So I managed to sit through two days of training with no role playing in sight. The bad news is I still have four full days left of sheer and utter boredom. The content itself is quite interesting and the speaker is well versed on the subject matter, it's her approach that is making the class want to fall asleep. She stands at the front of the room in the same spot and speaks for 2 hours, quick break, speaks again for a few hours, lunch and guess what folks, she speaks again until the end of the day. The day changes only when we do quick group work or someone asks a question. We have even been let out early on both days as she can feel the energy in the room disappearing. The only saving grace for me is that the training is over a few weeks time so it's back to the grind tomorrow.


During the training I giggled to myself about a good laugh I had at a friends BBQ this past weekend. It was one of those laughs where you are crying, snorting, gasping for air and doubled over in sheer delight with no end in the near future. I gave LD & the guys my camera to look at photos of a friends wedding as I A) forgot a particular photo on there had been taken and therefore B) handed over my camera. The photo in question was of myself in my attach to your bra spanx....a lovely idea by myself and LD after the wedding festivities had taken place IE tooooo much drinking. Up pops the photo. LD & I burst into uncontrollable laughter, the guys are confused and reach for the camera to get a better glimpse of the funny image only I of course delete it before they have a chance.


I love those moments where an uncontrollable guffaw springs from your mouth and you double over in side spitting pain from the boisterous laughter that lasts forever. When was that last time you had a good laugh like that?


This is a quick outtake of a clip that Marilyn Monroe was filming for "Somethings Got to Give." Her costar was of the canine persuasion and not cooperating at this point. She lets out this laugh near the end of the take that always puts a smile on my face. It's not something one would expect from the quiet and poised Marilyn, it's like she lets go for a moment. I LOVE it!!!!

Bleh

Hope everyone had a great weekend, especially the Canucks as it was a long one for us. I'll be back to post on Wed or Thurs. As some of you may recall I was dreading training for work which may or may not involve role playing boooooo!!! It's this week so I won't be around, you'll have to stare at the hats below for a little while longer haha.

Hats Hats and more Hats

My latest purchase was this horribly expensive purse but, in my defence, I used a gift card and then a few of my own bucks to purchase it. I didn't feel too bad as I consulted my mother beforehand as to how much was too much to spend on a purse. She in return asked if it was less than $250.....yay mom!!!!

I also just purchased a new hat, however this baby was on sale for $5.99 woo hoo gotta love a great deal. You can check out the collection of hats at the end of this post if you are so inclined.

I've been trying to work on me lately as one of my goals. For some reason, aging has freaked me right the hell out this year. I'm concerned about my past tanning and horrible burns I've inflicted upon my body, not to mention the smoking, popping pills with no thoughts (nothing bad silly people, but ask my friends I'm the sudafed queen, tylenol 1's I doubt it's good to take codeine all the time even in low doses) and other such things.

So to rectify my behaviour I've been looking for a fake tanner (any suggestions, they no longer make the one i love) I've quit smoking and I'm back onto regular tylenol and very little sinus medication. I also went to the gym tonight for the 1st time in 4 months. I gave my knee a try on the treadmill and so far so good. As well I did some upper body exercises with weights, nothing like where I used to be, but I will build back up to that in no time.

I'm also focusing a lot right now on money and savings and all that kind of stuff. I find it fascinating that some people do not have any type of savings plan....no RRSP's, no pension, no anything. I struggled with putting money away at first as it's not guaranteed that I'm going to live to see tomorrow. But......in the off chance I might live to be 90 I thought it best to at least contribute to my agency's pension plan. I'll work on the RRSP end of it later :)

What goals are you working towards? Am I the only one approaching my 30's with this bizzaro obsession with my body and taking care of it all of a sudden?

Yes the plastic tag thingy is still on the blue hat....I haven't worn it yet haha


I got this one in Camden, I love the huge pin on the side, so cute!!

Planes Trains and Automobiles

I find it interesting that some women can recall fantasizing about their perfect storybook wedding as a young girl. I have never been one of those women, which is most likely why I do not get very excited at weddings as an adult. To be honest, they generally make me feel extremely inadequate that I have been unable to find a partner to enjoy life with, and even if I did, I doubt I would want to go down that road. I'm not interested in spending $50,000 on one day, a dress I will never wear again, flowers that will die and a DJ that insists on playing YMCA no matter how many times you tell him/her not to.

I went to a wedding this weekend as my friend P's date and had a wonderful time. I have never been to a wedding before where the bride and groom were soooooooo beyond happy it even put a smile on my face. Most weddings are joyous occasions but this particular one went way beyond that and rather than feeling inadequate I felt like I wanted to have what the bride and groom had, as their happiness and love was so contagious, even cynical Miss Ash was nowhere to be found.

The day in itself was spontaneous and fun. After the ceremony P and I decided to check out her friends Airplane Tour business to kill some time before the reception. Next thing we know we're flying high above the sky with P as co-pilot, taking in the sights and viewing the city as we never have before. Afterwards we sat in the sun and enjoyed ice cream and catching up before making our way to the reception. I don't get to see P very often and it was great to spend time with her, I felt rejuvenated. I have a few things on the go this week, Dr's appt to find out if the abnormal cells are gone, I'm heading back to the gym tomorrow after my 3 month hiatus and most importantly, I finally have an entire week to myself......no weddings, no birthdays ...nothing, i'm sooooo excited :)

Hilarious

I have no idea if this is a true story or not but received it via email and thought it was hilarious. Enjoy:

This happened in Utah and was on the news! A city councilman, Mark Easton, lives in this neighborhood. He had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built. Apparently, the new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance.Mark and his new neighbor had some great arguments about this as you can imagine - not great feelings. The new neighbor had to drop the roof line - no doubt at great expense.Recently, Mark Easton called the city and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home. Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate.When they went to Mark's home to see the vent view, this is what they found.

Not only is this hilarious and I applaud the gentleman that had the balls to put up the middle finger shaped vents but it reminds me of a conversation I once had with a coworker. I guess there was this well known homeless man in the area that would often ask strangers for cigarettes. If they denied him, he would yell "Well fuck you then" and walk away. Another well known woman in the area somehow found "Free Parking" bags and put them all over the parking meters, laughing the entire time and dancing around. These two individuals most likely suffer from some type of mental illness, but how wonderful it must be, to not have a constant filter on your mouth/actions, much like the builder of the above photos. I love it!!!

The Killers

It has been an extremely busy weekend yet again and unfortunately there are no breaks in sight for this coming week. I am going to see the Killers baby, as well it's a special week at my work and we have events going on everyday until Saturday. As well I am attending a wedding this weekend and of course there is Mother's Day. I hope to enjoy the sun and beautiful weather one day soon, just take a day to myself and really really enjoy it.

I will be starting this very intensive trainingl at the end of May and I must say i'm not looking forward to it ...... roleplaying will be a requirement ...... i'm not into roleplaying.....well, under the right circumstances I am, however not for work purposes :)

For Canadian fans of the Amazing Race, check out this website, Phil is seeking Canadian contestants for his new show.

I had a Falafel platter for dinner this evening (falafels, hummus, some type of mushroom salad) and I started to think about my favorite food......and realized it would be next to impossible to name just one. I'm in love with Japanese food (okonomiyaki, sushi), Thai food, Vietnamese food, Indian food, I don't discriminate....I love them all. Jennifer took me out for Ethiopian food a few years back, and guess what, I loved it!!!
What kinds of food are you ladies and gents into these days?? Any suggestions for this gal, something unique and tasty.....and of course veggie :)

Sexy Boy...I'm not your boy toy...Sexy Boy!!!!

Where do you think the above photo was taken??? Could it be an Art Gallery opening? Perhaps some type of rock concert......If you guessed a World Wrestling Federation Event circa 1992 then ding ding ding you win!!! That's right folks, the man on the left is wearing a tazmanian devil sweatshirt and the man on the right (that my friend is giving cut eye to which is kinda funny as she is wearing a faded denim shirt granted this was 15 years ago) is sporting his finest American Flag blouse, unbuttoned of course with a bandana/doo rag to boot. Hot stuff!!! I was a huge wrestling fan many moons ago, i'm talking when The Rockers ruled the ring and Tug Boat was still around. Here are some of my teenage crushes:

Brett the Hitman Heart with Tugboat to the left

Marty Jannetty of The Rockers

The British Bulldog

I can't possibly leave out my boyfriend always and forever, Mr. Shawn Michaels once part of The Rockers

Here he is sporting his very luscious locks.....apparently in my early teens I had a thing for Mullets, who knew!!!

The below link is a montage with Shawns "Sexy Boy" theme song playing in the background.....hilarious.

Michael Shawn Hickenbottom


As an addendum, 2DP had a recent blog documenting some of the horrendous CD choices he has made over the years. First on his list was Nelson and their After the Rain Album. After I snickered and choked on my drink I confessed that I too not only owned the tape, but went to a tape signing and to their concert for this particular album. The year was 1990.....maybe 1991 and my love for long hair continued on haha. A few photos from the concert I attended.

I also had a crush on David Faustino when he played Bud on Married with Children (who also sported the Business in the Front, Party in the Back Do)

And lastly, I must not leave out the Corey's who both had questionable hairstyles:

Let me just end this with a quick note that my taste in men and errrr their hairstyles has definately changed......and for the better haha. Any bizzaro crushes for anyone else?