Shopping!!!

Happy Turkey Day to my American bloggy friends!!! (I am thankful this year that Lenny Kravitz is playing the Grey Cup haha ) In honour of your day, I will be participating in the shopping frenzy that is Black Friday!!! Wish me luck, I shall return in a few days :)

Oh and did anyone else catch the bizarre article regarding Sesame Street and how the old episodes are not suitable for children nowadays??? Apparently Cookie Monster encourages diabetes, Oscar has a mental health issue IE Depression, and Big Bird is off his rocker as he "sees" things/has an imaginary friend IE Snuffalupagus. Oh and it teaches children that it's ok to go home with strangers as a little girl goes home with Gordon to eat cookies and meet his wife. Ummmmm how about we just enjoy the bloody show???

So what have you been doing????

Ah yes, facebook has sucked me in and made me it's bitch. It's true, I've been chatting with some very old friends lately (kindergarten to high school old friends). It is very strange to me, as I'm a firm believer in the "If I didn't care to keep in touch with you, then why do I want to talk to you now" mantra. I kept in touch with those that were close to me and the rest of us just went our separate ways. We went to different universities/colleges, moved to different cities/countries and started lives without one another.

I am slightly curious to find out what happened to the guy I walked home with every day for 7 years, or the one who's pool I used to swim in after school. I have years and years of memories with these people who are now virtual strangers to me. I wonder if I would get along with them now? Would we have the same views, ethics, morals? I wonder if a reunion would prove disastrous or would we start right back from where we left off?

One gave me his phone number and wants me to call "anytime day or night," another suggested going out for a beer in the next few weeks. I'm treading lightly at the moment and won't be calling anyone anytime soon, but going out for a drink to catch up is not entirely out of the question. Any thoughts on this??

PS: the answer to my question last post .... Lips. I love a nice full set of lips on a man!!

Can you pass me that banana??

Some of you expressed an interest in learning about the male anatomy class that Jennifer and I recently took. It was called the Sophisticated Hand-job which a few of my male friends found strange as according to them nobody gives hand-jobs anymore. Huh, anymore?? I never really gave them to begin with I was more of a blo....umm yeah I'll stop myself right there!!

This class was goal #9 on my list, I figured why not take a seminar that was A) fun B) useful and C) obviously a lot more interesting than a silly cooking class. We arrived early for the 2.5 hour class and checked out the swag in the store, tested the paddles and whips on one another and had a few laughs. The class began and all participants had to go around, introduce ourselves, explain why we were there and the body part on a man that we most enjoyed. I would love for each and every one of you to guess my answer to the last question! What do you think I enjoy most on a man??

The facilitator described the techniques as well as demonstrated on a dildo and used some video clips. She was very informative and we had a few giggles along the way. (This description is starting to remind me of the time I was telling a friend about a date I had just been on. She informed me that my story telling was akin to a police report....here are the facts and that's it Haha!!) We were given dildos for the last half of the class to lube up and practice on; I thought I would be a lot more embarrassed about rubbing a fake cock in front of my friend and a bunch of strangers but I felt quite comfortable. Perhaps I'm turning pervy!!! Now if I can just find someone to practice my new found talent on.........

Interesting....

I was informed recently about a little diddy called a merkin.......ringing bells for anyone else out there??? I myself had never ever heard of such a thing and was giggling like a 12 year old boy when I found out exactly what a merkin was. For those of you not in the know, it's a pubic wig, orginally worn by sex trade workers to disguise the marks of syphilis, among other things.

I for one think this would be a fun/playful accessory to have around. Rather than surprising your partner with sexy lingerie, you could change the colour and shape of your merkin. Fun fur pink one day, a real hair bearded look the next. So get out there and try something new, buy a merkin today!! (and yes they are made for both men and women and no you don't have to be a sex trade worker or have syphilis to sport one) Ha!!!

Quiz

I was tagged by JLee to do this rather long quiz :)


1. Name one person who made you laugh last night?



Jennifer, we were taking a “class” regarding the male anatomy. Her introduction made me giggle!


2. What were you doing at 0800?


Drying my hair and getting ready for work.



3. What happened to you in 2006?


I did some travelling and was able to visit Vegas and Africa. I frolicked on the beaches of Benin in just a swimsuit, it was liberating as i'm a sarong type of gal and like to cover up. I felt free for the first time in years.



4. How many beverages did you have today?



So far one just water.


5. What color is your hairbrush?



I have a grey and black paddle brush.


6. Where were you last night?



I was at the “class” regarding the male anatomy with Jennifer. It was on my goal list you pervs haha!



7.What color is your front door?


Beige how boring.



8. Where do you keep your change?


I keep my change in the change part of my wallet of course. The rest is kept in my closet in a container. I have broken several wallets stuffing them too full of change so I try to keep the overflow out of there.


9. What's the weather like today?



It is fucking freezing 3 degrees but feels like minus 1. I heard a rumour that it is supposed to snow this weekend BLEH!!!!


10. What's the best ice cream flavor?


Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked: Chocolate Fudge Brownies meets Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. A concoction of Chocolate & Vanilla Ice Cream mixed with Fudge Brownies & Gobs of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. YUMMY!!!



11. What excites you?


Summer and hot weather, travelling, holding hands, warm kisses on my neck…..


12. Do you want to cut your hair?



No way, I always grow it to a certain point and then chop it off, not this time!!


13.Are you over the age of 25?



A little bit, but i'm still desperately clinging to the last of my 20’s.


14.Do you talk a lot?



I do talk a lot however it depends if I find the topic interesting, otherwise I’m rather quiet.

15. Do you watch the OC?


I did watch the OC when it was on, but I do not watch the reruns.



16. Do you make up your own words?



Umm sometimes but not too often. PP is a fan of the word "agreeal."


17. Are you a jealous person?



Sad but true I can be, though I do hide it well and try not to come off as an absolute loon.



18. Name a friend whose name starts with an 'A'?



Adam, I’ve known him for a few years now, good guy.


19. Name a friend whose name starts with a 'K'?



Kelly is someone that I work with however we are friends outside of work. She’s hilarious.



20. Who's the first person on your received call list?



Jennifer



21. What does the last text msg you received say?



“Just got in from the gym and nearly had to pull over, thank you”


22. Do you chew on a straw?



I don’t use straws very often and I certainly do not chew on them.


23. Where's the next place you are going?



After work I’m off to a friends house to see her new baby. Travel wise the States for some Black Friday shopping and Vegas next February for a wedding.


24. Who's the rudest person in your life?



I could name a few…..


25. What was the last thing you ate?



A veggie sub on whole wheat bread. Not very exciting however my choices are rather limited at sub shops these days haha!



26. Will you get married in the future?


Hmmm never say never, however I do not have any plans to do so. If I were to get married it would be a small ceremony in some far off place. I loathe big wedding’s and boring speeches.


27. What's the best movie you've seen in the last 2 weeks?



Nightmare Before Christmas 3D is the only movie I’ve seen in the last two weeks. I felt a little ridiculous at the theatre with glasses on however it was great. I love love love Jack Skellington!


28. When was the last time you did dishes?


Today at work, had to wash my spoon.


29. Are you currently depressed?



I’m generally in a state of melancholy with hints of happiness thrown in.



30. Did you cry today?



Nope, but if they try to make me hold the baby I might haha, I’m not a baby person.



31. What was the last thing you said aloud?



“I’m going to tell her that her kid is a liar” regarding a client


32. What car do you drive and what Bumpersticker(s) do you have on it?



Mazda and no bumperstickers, I think they are tacky, however I do enjoy reading them. Does that make any sense?


33. Why did you answer this and post it?


I was tagged and it gave me something to write!


I tag WIGSF, SS , Wiwille and anyone else interested in doing the quiz.

Dating

It seems as though in the last week or so I've become unbearably pathetic and a few friends have decided to "set me up." Very strange seeing as these friends come from different groups and don't know one another but clearly have impeccable timing.

I walked into a friends house last Tuesday she declared she had found someone for me to date, a client of hers, older, established and if she wasn't married she'd hop on that train for a ride.

The 2nd friend is a gal on my volleyball team. We've played together for a few years and she inquired about my status a few weeks ago. I laughed and told her I was perpetually single (ask me in 10 years and the answer will still be the same). She wrinkled her brow in a WTF kind of way and said she didn't get it, I am fun, athletic blah blah and she would keep her eye out for me. We're having a few drinks this week after our game and she nonchalantly leans over and tells me she's going to bring a friend from work by one of these days after the game. I begged her to tell me when as I'm A) wearing some form of sweat pant attire and B) sweaty as hell with no makeup and rather disheveled hair after our games. Not a great first impression though I'd imagine it's the worst I will ever look. She said nope it would be a surprise. BAH!!!

Lastly, there's a friend of a friend that I ended up chatting with via facebook. He's asked me out already several times and I've always declined because I really do hate dating. As well he's the absolute opposite of myself, he's very quiet, tall and very skinny, doesn't go out much and has never travelled. However, on my list of goals I have to go on 5 dates within the next few years (laugh all you want but that's a lot for me as I loathe dating. It most likely stems from my self esteem issue) so I'll most likely give it a go.

What about the rest of you singles out there, how is the dating world treating you and do you actually enjoy going on dates?

What the fuck.....

Perhaps it's my crapola mood but people have been driving me absolutely mad these past few days. What the fuck is wrong with people?

I'm standing in line at the local coffee shop, it's 8am, I'm half asleep & next in line. Next thing I know I feel something rubbing up against my shoulder. I turn to look and almost bump noses with this old fart. He's practically standing right on top of me. I wanted to give him a dirty look and ask if he'd perhaps like to jump on my shoulders to get a better look at the selection seeing as I'm clearly in his way. My next thought was to move my arms around wildly knocking him in the process. Unfortunately I was too tired to argue with the shoulder molester and let it go.....ass!!

That being said, let's talk about compliments for a moment. They are lovely to get and of course make one feel good (sometimes), however I have a tendency to poo poo them away. It doesn't matter what the compliment is, I just can't seem to accept it. If someone comments on my hair I'll banter back with how I was supposed to wash it that day but didn't and how out of control it is. Oh what about those beautiful shoes I'm wearing......these old things, please I've had them for ages and they barely match my skirt. I'm photogenic you say....oh dear lord have you actually seen me in person.....dreadful it is. Does anyone else share this problem?

I will never forget a friend of mine had just returned from travelling. We were catching up at some cheesy bar and a slow song came on. We began to dance and as we talked he started to tell me how beautiful I was. I did the usual "no no" and he went on to tell me how people never take the time to compliment one another and we should all give love and kind words. And to be honest it did feel wonderful and he was being sincere and I will never forget how a I felt at that moment.

Ghosts and playing tourist for the day!!

I went on a haunted walk at an old fort that was rather disappointing. It wasn't very scary at all, not too many spooky stories or anything and it was quite short. I went to one years ago that I really enjoyed so perhaps I'll give that one a go next year.


A friend and I were chatting about ghosts and the belief or lack thereof in them. I for one do believe such beings exist, he does not. I have never had the pleasure (actually I think I would be so bloody scared) of actually seeing anything paranormal in person. I have had a few rather questionable things happen that made me a bit freaked out but I've yet to actually see a ghost.


Friends have recanted tales of witnessing unexplainable beings or goings on......enormous shoe prints on freshly washed wet floors while home alone, toys moving from an upstairs closet to downstairs; again no one else was home, a little boy standing at the end of ones bed.....the list goes on. So you my lovely readers, do you believe in ghosts and have you had any paranormal experiences?




On a completely different note I met up with Claire this weekend and had a fabulous time, she's great fun! I took her around the city and thankfully I have a friend in the tourist industry that was able to help us plan the day. We crossed the whirlpool on a cable car, braved the butterflies at the conservatory all the while hoping we would not kill any lest they land on us. As well it was near impossible to capture these bloody blue buggers on film which drove us both crazy. We took a beautiful walk along the rapids and braved the mighty falls in our yellow raincoats getting completely and ridiculously soaked.


(Rapids)

We ate chocolate covered strawberries which were to die for and apparently Claire is frightened quite easily. I took her to a very dark haunted house where they have live actors that try to scare you. We managed to get up the stairs, walk down a hall then heard a low voice and loud banging. It was frightening, she grabbed my arm and told me I could go alone and she'd wait for me. No way, we both turned around and got the hell outta there haha!!! We had a good laugh about that one.

(Booths at Sneaks....such a classy place!!)


It was a friends birthday this weekend as well, so Claire came out with us and danced the night away. We drank far too much and of course had to hit up Sneaky Dee's for a late night snacky poo IE breakfast at 4 am. Sorry for keeping you out so late, hope you were able to sleep on the train to Montreal :)

Tag

I was tagged by WIGSF

Each blogger must state eight random facts/habits about themselves

(A few of these I posted back in 2005 when I had like 2 readers, so i've put those back on and added a few new ones)

1) It horrifies me when others drink out of my glass or bottle or whatever it is I am drinking out of. I think it is terribly unsanitary and at the very least if they want to try my drink, I will turn the glass around so our lip marks do not touch. I don't need someone elses saliva and food bits in my glass. Same goes for anything else I would put up to my lips. Dawn's dad once asked me for a drag of a smoke (when I used to smoke) and I yelled out "what" with a disgusted look on my face. Once Dawn explained my aversion to him, he made a quip about me being able to share air with other people. Which leads me to my next habit...

2) Whenever I am out in public, walking past someone and they sneeze, I hold my breath until I pass the area that they were in. This also applies when people cough. Perhaps I have some weird issue with getting sick that I am unaware of, but I certainly do not want their icky germs in my body.

3) If someone leaves a light on when they are not in the room any longer, rather than turn it off, I must point it out to them......sometimes repeatedly, when really the end result i'd like is to just have the light off.

4) I am deathly afraid of spiders and have been known to cry because of them. It's almost like a small panic attack, my heart starts racing......it's very odd to have such a small thing affect me in such a huge way.

5) Whenever I see a dead animal on the side of the road I bless it. My friend does this and I thought she was a big weirdo the 1st time I saw her do it and now I am clearly a big weirdo as well.

6) I avoid gatherings at all costs with people I have not seen in a while IE family friends at Christmas. I don't enjoy the whole "so what are you doing" small talk. It makes me uncomfortable.

7) I am a rather sensitive person and take things to heart which can sometimes be great and sometimes not so great.....my cynicysm has quite the imagination as well which makes me distrustful of people, even if they are being sincere.

8) I've had my camera for almost 2 years, can point and shoot but have no idea how to use any of the actual functions on it.

Bars....Pubs??

Well i'm definately feeling much better than the last time I posted which is good news :)

The conference was alright, there was one interesting speaker but the rest I could have done without. I enjoyed my evening out with a few friends and a friend of theirs who decided to pay for everything (He wasn't some creepy guy, he was attending the conference as well). As much of a feminist as I am, it was nice to be treated to a night on the town. "Leave your purses at the hotel" hmmmm Okay!!

It did open my eyes a little bit to the fact that I am getting older every second and perhaps those types of bars are not the place for me. Everyone seemed to be of age or using fake ID.

(I snagged this photo off the net but you get the idea)

It's weird though, for instance 7 months ago I went to a place and had a fantastic time. I went to the same place a few weekends ago and everyone seemed to be having their 19th birthday, we left after a few drinks. I'm not even talking about those raging dance clubs or anything like that, just regular bars. Where do the old people go???

Apparently I need to find a nice pub to chill out at every once in a while. Screaming girls and waiting in line 30 minutes for a toilet (because they have all overflowed) no longer seems to appeal to me.

I am in an absolutely wretched mood and I have a busy week ahead. Very late nights followed by an out of town conference that I'm not too keen on attending. I'm just feeling defeated/melancholy as of late if that makes any sense at all. Little things are getting on my nerves....Somthings gotta give. So rather than bitch and whinge on here (cause nobody enjoys a complainer) I'm going to post a silly joke. It gave me a good chuckle when I first read it. Have a great week!
(The photos are of my favorite sculpture The Angel of Grief by William Wetmore Story. They best convey how I am feeling)

My Living Will

Last night my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her

"I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.......

HNT

It's been eons since i've done one of these, Happy HNT!!

200th Post

Wow, 200 posts in just over 2 years!!! Seems like just yesterday I started this silly thing.

I had a gluttonous weekend and filled myself not once but twice with Japanese food and of course a few pints of Stella. Needless to say Sunday was a rather lazy day as I was nursing a sore noggin and trying to rehydrate myself. I spent many hours working towards goal # 73 (to finish the 1st 3 seasons of LOST). IE I sat on my couch allllll day long!!!

For the Canucks it's Thanksgiving which means an extra day off of work which is always lovely. We're not really having a dinner per se as my parents are away and I don't eat meat.....so really I see no point. I was invited to a few meals which I declined due to my throbbing head, however a friend stopped by with not one, but three pieces of pie that she made; So I was able to have some pumpkin pie which is very Thanksgivingish.

I was hoping to try a tofurkey this year.....yes folks, a fake turkey made out of tofu. They have always piqued my interest however I have never actually tried one. If we do end up having some type of Thanksgiving dinner in the coming weeks, I will search high and low for one as I find they are rather hard to come by in my neck of the woods (I've only seen one). I find anything smothered in veggie gravy to be delightful so I imagine it will taste better than it looks. I doubt anyone else in my family will touch the thing and will most likely mock me so I will probably be eating tofurkey well into November!!


I plan to spend my extra day off cleaning, exciting I know but unfortunately it is a necessary evil. I don't just mean tidying up & dusting but more along the lines of gut out my closet, under the bed, find stuff to freecycle type of cleaning. Wish me luck!!

Funny Friday

An Irish Ghost Story (I got this in an email, thought it was cute)

This story happened a while ago in Dublin , and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, its true. John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.. only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on!!

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him. Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it.

Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had. A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realized he was crying. Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other..."Look Paddy.....there's that fucking idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!!!!"

___________________________________________________________

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So to my bloggy friends a toast:

May the winds of fortune sail you

May you sail a gentle sea

May it always be the other guy

who says, "this drink's on me."

Have a great weekend, I plan to spend mine getting silly as it's October and I can have a drinky poo!!!

CHEERS!!!!

Chinese Lantern Festival

It was yet another quiet weekend for me, I've taken to watching TV and reading a lot while not drinking. I did however say something asinine while watching a commercial with LD and could not control my laughter for sometime after. To set the scene, an older gentleman is about to blow out his birthday candles and a young boy (his grandson perhaps) runs into the room holding a jar. He opens it, a big gust follows, the candles go out and there is this explosion if you will. So I say to LD "ohhh I get it he farted in the jar." She looks at me quizzically as I go on to explain how the little boy obviously farted in the jar and opened it thus causing the explosion. I then realize that this of course makes noooooo sense and the ad has something to do with wind or energy I'm not quite sure as I burst into laughter at my ridiculous thought. Seriously though, that's the first thing that crossed my mind "oohhhhh be farted in the jar, I get it." Unbelievable.


Today we went to see the Chinese Lantern Festival in the big city and it really was quite amazing and grand. Last year it took 60 craftsmen from the China Colour Lantern Museum of Zigong, China 45 days to build the beautiful sets on land and water.

This year, there were more than 40 spectacular illuminated sets; as well as entertainment and of course a small market area. I was surprised at the size of the lanterns and fell in love with the cute "chubby but agile" pandas.



The photos do not even do the festival justice but will give you a taste of what we experienced. Enjoy:







The above was particularly interesting as they used kitchenware to build the dragon heads. A close-up below where you can see the spoons, bowls and cups, very cool and creative.

I hope that everyone had a good weekend!!