I saw these clips recently and they made me cry I was laughing so hard. JLee posted one today as well so without further adieu enjoy " I"m Fucking Matt Damon"



And Jimmy Kimmel's response "I'm fucking Ben Affleck"

Just before Vegas I had asked 2DP for some nutrition/fitness advice and began to follow his suggestions when I returned home from Sin City. To my amazement I have actually lost close to 8 pounds, WOO HOO!! The nutrition part is rather bland and of course I have cheated here and there (non fat Green Tea Latte anyone) and I had a piece of chocolate on Valentines Day. I have yet to open my own box of chocolates which is shocking to say the least; normally the yummy little morsels would have been devoured by now.

The above is a picture of my favorite grilled veggie sub in the whole wide world. It's filled with everything imaginable including feta cheese.....sooooo good!!! Of course I miss my pizza, pasta and veggie subs but I'll get back to those in moderation one day. For the time being I'm trying to eat more like this:

As for the exercise portion I haven't been able to go as much as I'd like (only 3 times this past week) as I've injured my knee for the bazillionth time. I try to at least do a light jog on the treadmill followed by the bike for now, give my knee a rest for a few days and then go back.

I am very confused about this whole heart rate thing and staying in my "fat burning" zone vs "cardio." I felt that I had a great workout the last time I was at the gym, I jogged a lot longer than normal, I was all sweaty and felt really good about what I had done. Then I looked at my heart rate monitor and it said I had only been in my zone for 2 minutes.....HUH!!!! Apparently my rate was too high and I was in the cardio zone instead of the fat burning zone. It's very confusing to me as I'd imagine a light jog would help you lose weight faster than say a quick walking pace. According to a friend of mine though, I need to stay in my "fat burning" zone and if that means a quick walk, then I should just do a quick walk. So weird!!

I find the whole thing to be a bit of a pain in the ass to be honest. I had 6 dinner invitations last week alone and only went to 3 of them, as they were friends who came from out of town for a visit. I had to order more sensible dishes than my normal choices.......and certainly no appetizers for this gal. Sucky yes......but at least I was able to try new items and step out of my box.

I've also had to limit my going out and booze consumption which can be a bit difficult in certain situations. I play volleyball once a week and after our games we go to the bar for beer and pizza. Obviously I won't be touching the food; as for the drinks I may get a water or have a light beer though I'd rather not get into the habit of doing this every week while I'm trying to lose the weight.

A big thanks to 2DP for helping me on this journey and putting up with all of my silly questions!

I hope that everyone had a great weekend :)

Prank

I just had this emailed to me and loved the idea of a prank on so many unsuspecting people:

This is a prank on a "grand" scale. Over 200 people gathered at Grand Central Station in New York to pull off a 'frozen in place' act. The onlooking travelers who weren't part of the act were mystified as to what was going on.

Annoyed.....

I have noticed a lot of sales people trying to "up sell" me lately and it's really starting to drive me mad. Take for instance last week, I had a stack of clothes to try on at this particular store. By stack I mean a whole hell of a lot; skirts, dresses, blouses, pants and so on. The sales lady of course had been hovering outside of my change room door to give her opinion everytime I emerged with a new item. I felt like Britney trying to avoid the paparazzi, scurrying back in and taking a few minutes to change and gather up enough strength to go back out.

In my few seconds of solace the saleslady would take it upon herself to bring me a new piece of clothing she thought I might like. The first was this hideous pink faux suede jacket. When I voiced my displeasure she began to prod me "why, why don't you like it?" I told her I hated suede and her response of course was "but it's not suede" yada yada yada so I told her it was hideous. She decided to bring me yet another awful jacket.....again I told her no that it was not my style and it was ugly.

I hate to say it my fellow bloggers, but yes she brought me one last item to try on and I, Miss Ash was defeated by this point, gave up and tried the bloody suit (that I had not picked out) on. Quel surprise I hated it.

I finally picked out 3 items (that I had chosen) and went over to the cash register. Next thing I know she's trying to sell me everything else in the store:

"Do you need pantyhose for the dress?"

"Ummm no thanks I have some already."

"What about some jewlery, do you need a nice necklace for the dress?"

My patience had now left the store and I'm quite surprised my body did not follow in protest. I told her no firmly, payed my $325 and ran the hell out of there. Fuck off, I just spent wayyyyy more than I had wanted to and it had nothing to do with your annoying "try this" "buy this" bullshit.

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Another time I was furious with a sales person was at a car lot. This guy was sooooooo relentless I'd had enough. My poor father sat there staring while his little girl ripped the salesman a new asshole for being the most annoying man on the face of the earth. He must have asked me 15 times "What can I do to make you take this car home today?" After my first few explanations about how a car is a large purchase and I would have to think about it.....and his continued harassment, I lost it. I stood up and started to yell and told him he was going to see my ass walking out the door if he asked me that question one more time. Ladylike...not at all; but my poor behaviour did put a huge smirk on my fathers face as we walked out together sans car.

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My spellchecker has gone caput for some reason.....see any errors?? Shut the fuck up about them haha!! (said with love of course)

We made it!!

Once again Vegas did not disappoint and it kicked my ass for the 3rd time in as many years. It was great to go with such a big group of people and right from the start we had everything set out for us. A big bus came to get us at the airport, all of our luggage was taken care of and we were able to sit back and relax thanks to the wonderful planning of the bride to be.

The weather stayed in the 60's and I was able to saunter.....errr.....stumble around in short sleeved shirts and skirts sipping 99 cent margaritas while the folks at home were apparently getting pummelled with freezing rain and hail.

The wedding was beautiful and we stayed up until the wee hours of the morning celebrating! There was dancing and drinking and laughter all shared with close friends.

This was supposed to be the year of museums in Vegas and I had quite a few mapped out that I was looking forward to visiting. In true Vegas fashion....there was no time for such things and I did not even make it to one. I barely made it to the Fashion Show Mall as my feet were pulsating from the evening before and it took all of my strength to even walk on my sore tootsies.

We went to the Wynn during the day to check out some of the shops IE window shop as I am not able to afford anything with Dior or Jimmy Choo on the label; however it was fun to look and the staff at Dior were lovely.

The Wynn was absolutely breathtaking inside, mosaic floors, beautiful lanterns and waterfalls, it was phenonmenal.



(This photo came off of their website)

My favorite part of the trip would have to be the club inside the Wynn called Tryst. We took a big stretch limo there for our last night in Sin City and I really have no words to describe the club, it was amazing; great music, beautiful people, a 90 foot waterfall at the end of the room that cascades into a lagoon.......absolutely phenonmenal. I took a quick look at the bottle service menu and found a bottle that went for $30, 000!!! Yikes!!! Good thing the washrooms have a shelf to hold your beverage of choice:

We flew in last night......to minus 20 degree weather, ice and wind. Needless to say I'm a bit of an unhappy kitty at the moment and long for the warm weather to grace us once again.

Here is a photo taken during the trip/ Here is a photo taken before leaving


Vegas certainly did a number on me once again!!

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On a sidenote, LD found the biggest pickle that I have ever seen:

Tokyo Tin Tin's Meme

Tokyo Tin Tin made up this meme/questionnarie thingy, feel free to do one for yourself!!

1.Someone is going to drop you off at your local airport early tomorrow morning. You can take any flight leaving the airport for a free holiday. Where will you go? (Please consider: flights actually leaving your local airport tomorrow)

Flight # 9W225 Jet Airways departing from YYZ at 20:00 to Delhi India.

2. You have a holiday coming up and can visit one city on each continent. Which ones will you visit, and for how long?

I have 5 weeks of vacation so:

Buenos Aires, Argentina (1 week)



Addis Ababa, Ethiopia (1 week)



Bucharest, Romania (1 week)

Aukland, New Zealand (1 week)

Galapagos Islands of course (3 days)

Bali Indonesia, I don't care where as long as I'm in Bali (4 days)


3. If you had to live in a country (other than the one you think of as 'home') and had to stay in that country for the rest of your life, where would you choose?

This is far too hard to answer, I have no idea!!! Would I want to live for the rest of my life in any of the places I've visited?? What if I pick a place I've never been and it is awful....I can't decide too much pressure Tokyo Tin Tin, too much pressure!!

4. Part 1: You have $100 and must travel somewhere for a month. Where will you go? (Please consider: cost of living, opportunities to work, people you could mooch off of, etc. –Ah ah ah! No borrowing money! The $100 doesn't have to pay for your travel to the place you want to go).

I would travel to Bangladesh, stay with P’s relatives, work in the tea fields, eat mangos all day long and hang out with the Bengali Brad Pitt.

Part 2: You have 100,000$, but only 24 hours. Where will you go to spend it? (No buying real estate, gold bricks, etc.)

I would go to Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. I would stay at the Burj Al Arab hotel in the Royal Suite for a mere $28, 000. The suite has a private cinema, whirlpool baths and rotating beds woo hoo!! I’d spend my moolah on luxury cars, designer wares, indoor skiing, 5 star restaurants and of course a night on the town.

5. What is a vacation; relaxation or adventure?

I used to enjoy the relaxing vacations (IE laying on the beach drinking Mai Tai’s for a week), now I’m more apt for adventure and exploring new places.

Bonus question: what's your favourite vacation memory from when you were a kid?

We did the Florida/Myrtle Beach thing when I was younger, however the memory that springs to mind is a mini roadtrip to The Holiday Inn over the March Break in the States. We did this for a few years each break as a little getaway with a few of my parents friends and their kids. The other kids were all boys which meant shenanigans that girls would never get into IE playing nicky nicky nine doors, fire alarms and general rough housing. It was always a great time to let loose and run around with minimal supervision :)

Enjoy your week kids, I'm off to Sin City in a few days and will return next week!

I was trying to look up funny cartoons to put into a friends 30th birthday card. Somehow I came across the above cartoon which obviously has nothing to do with birthdays but made me laugh out loud.

I have been rather sick for the past 2 weeks and finally went to see the doctor yesterday. I thought I was rather congested until I was sitting across from this old woman in the waiting room with an oxygen tank. She was sooooo full of phlegm and kept spitting it out into a napkin. I felt like an asshole for going in with my "congested" chest after that. Turns out I have a sinus infection and my chest is clear after all! I went on my way with stinky horse pills and some nose spray that I have to take for the next 10 days. My only question to the doctor was regarding booze and the pills as I'm headed for Vegas next week, he didn't seem impressed but thankfully my last dose will be taken the day I leave so all is well.

I slept over at a friends last night and was woken up at 5 am by this ridiculous windstorm. Apparently the wind reached 100 km/hr and completely tore out their patio cover. The metal rods slammed against the house and I had visions of them coming through my window and impaling me as I tried to sleep ( I have a vivid imagination granted it was crumbling right outside my bedroom window). The whole structure was torn down and in absolute shambels; trees were knocked down, power was out in various areas and of course the skyways were closed. I wasn't able to get back to sleep after that and dragged my very tired butt through a long day at work.

I am very much looking forward to Friday as I have not made any plans nor do I plan to. It's a weekend of rest and relaxation before Sin City sucks me in and has me up until the wee hours of the morning. I remember Vegas kicking my ass last year so I need to prepare myself for this go around :)

Thank you for all of the kind words in regards to my last post, they mean a lot!

Oddly enough I received this email yesterday and thought how fitting. It made me look at myself from another perspective; perhaps I'm not so bad after all! These poor women on the other hand are very sick (both in body and mind) and it's sad to see what they have done to their bodies.

The email was entitled: So you think fat is ugly?

And the last half read: Well!!! After seeing these I think I'll keep my fat ass!

My Struggle

Weight became an issue for me in my early 20's. I had a tumultuous relationship end and I went on a downward spiral from there. I quit university, partied nightly and gained 60 pounds. I certainly do not blame the break-up as it was more of a domino effect and that just happened to be the 1st one to fall.

I wanted to share some before and after photos with you so that you can understand where I am coming from and the struggle that I've had. In these photos I was 18-19 years of age:

This photo was taken only 3 years later, I was 22-23 years old and It was the 1st time in my life that I had ever struggled with my weight:

I have tried to lose weight in the past and successfully lost 30 pounds going from the above photo to this:


However, I gained it all back plus 15 more when I quit smoking. Apparently it's next to impossible to lose weight and stop smoking in the same year due to a lowered metabolism etc.

Experts say that weight is a symptom of a deeper issue; In order to successfully lose weight it's important to get to the root cause which I have never though about until now. I'm well aware that exercise and healthy eating will assist me to lose, however I self medicate with food and FINALLY took the time to figure out why.

*I started to use food to fill a void, a loneliness that I felt and it spiralled out of hand.

*As well, my sister and I are very different in that I am much more independent and she is much more needy when it comes to my parents attention. I often feel pushed to the side because they are so busy helping her...day in and day out and I use food to comfort myself.

*My weight is also how I protect myself. I've been single for many years which I blame on my weight. It is easier to believe that someone would not want to be with me due to my weight rather than to admit that it's because of who I am as a person.

*Lastly, I have a fear of success. What if I do lose the weight and think I look great but then nobody likes me? That scares the hell out of me as then I would have to deal with the above fear.

I must admit posting my "fat" photo was a rather difficult decision for me to make. I am currently floating somewhere in between all the photos but certainly closer to the chubby side than the skinny one but thankfully not that chubby :)

I suppose this post was a confession of sorts and I am hoping that getting to the root cause of my eating will help to assist in my road to recovery if you will. It has gone on for far too long and I am looking forward to a healthy future and getting my life back. I want to feel like the outside matches the inside again. Of course, any suggestions/tips would be greatly appreciated :)

And if you must I'll let you say it, but just this once: "boombaba boombaba"

Veggie Bacon!!

I am sooooo excited that I’m ready to burst. I have found soy “bacon” that actually tastes like…….yes you guessed it BACON!!! It’s crispy and delightful and like heaven in my mouth. You see, I was an avid bacon eater back in my meat eating days but gave it up about 7 years ago.

Strangely enough I’m not a huge fan of the meat alternatives such as the fake soy chicken bits or soy beef bits for stir fry’s. I’m down with the veggie burgers, tofu dogs and TVP for tacos but that’s about it. I find the others to have a strange smokey taste that’s not for me.

You can imagine my utter joy and amazement when I tried a new soy product “veggie bacon” and it had all the crispy delightfulness that bacon has without ….well the pig. And the taste was quite accurate as well. I had my first "BLT" in 7 years and damn was it good!! Now if I can just find some soy “chicken” wings I’d be all set :)

No Pain No Gain

A big Thank-You to Rawbean, I received my prizes from her contest and they are adorable. First up we have Jerome the smoking ice cream cones:

And last but not least Jose who enjoys long walks and hanging out with Kitty:

I was back at the gym lifting weights regularly about 2 months ago when BAM I got an injury. I continued on thinking meh, it will go away. Well obviously it got worse and now here I am with an injured rotator cuff. At one point it felt like a 300 pound German man had wrestled me to the ground. My chiropractor was appalled that I've been using my arm at all since I last saw her and now I've been told to pretend it's broken and use my left hand for reaching etc. Well folks, I'm a righty and it's been tres difficult to do that. I'm ready to tape this sucker to my body because for some reason I can't help but use it....reaching into the cupboard for a glass *doh*, hanging laundry *doh*, reaching into the backseat of the car *ouch and doh*.

I also went for my first deep tissue/therapeutic massage last night. I've had a hot stone as well as a relaxing massage before but never anything like this. Holy shit it felt great and painful all at the same time. It was like I wanted to beg her to stop one minute and the next I didn't want it to end. Today however it feels like that 300 pound German man has taken a baseball bat to my back and yet there are no bruises. I'll be going for another one again next month :)

Speaking of the gym (a few paragraphs ago :P ) why is it when I go to the gym....even 30 minutes later.....I look like I've been running for 3 days straight I'm sooo red??

Anyone else have this problem?? Happy Friday!!

Have you ever taken a picture of your friends with someone in the "background"? I of course mean that the person in the "background" is actually the subject for the photo. Maybe you've spotted a really great mullet or some nice camel toe and wanted to capture the moment in all it's glory. I know I have, Enjoy!

This first photo was actually sent to me via email. I have no idea who the girl is nor the man, but the caption read "Pants too tight" (Enlarged on a computer it's quite the sight):

This photo was taken in Vegas. We found this guy passed out at the machines, all alone for quite some time. We thought it would be funny to take pictures with him. Apparently my friends put my email address in his pocket those sneaky bastards :) This is LD posing just like the man:

Yours truly taking a turn (ignore the roll it's being worked on haha):

Security moved the man to a table, where he passed out again. N decided to strike a pose:



On the streets of ...yes you guessed it Vegas again. These people were gyrating, making out and being just plain nasty, so myself and my camera shy friend took this opportunity for a photo.

In retrospect I feel a little bit bad about taking this one...just a little bit as the man was rather old. However, he was sporting the longest speedo I have ever seen as it went right up to and past his bellybutton. Difficult to tell from this picture as it's tiny, but funny nonetheless. G and L posing for the photo:

I have a few more photos of mullets, but sadly they always seem to be taken in dark places and the "business in the front party in the back" hairstyle is hard to make out. Does anyone else do this?? I figure I've at one time been the subject of such a photo so it's all good!!

(Amy Brown drawing)

I am not in the best of spirits and truth be told have been in a bit of a pissy mood as of late. I can’t really place my finger on one particular event as it’s more an accumulation over time I suppose. I find myself reevaluating my life every so often, the meaning of it, the path I’ve taken and what direction I want it to flow. I feel like for most of my adult life I’ve been stuck in this little rut that grows deeper and deeper as the years pass on; I’ve become comfortable and complacent in many aspects of my life and each day feels the same as the last.

As well, my 30th birthday is fast approaching which may have contributed to this melancholy feeling. It’s not so much the number that I fear, but more so the lack of accomplishments thus far in my life that 30 represents. I feel like I’m in the same place that I was 10 years ago. I don’t own a house (I’d really prefer a loft but you get the idea), I do not have a significant other and spend my days as I always have day in and day out. I work during the week, every now and again I hit the gym, I play volleyball 6 months out of the year and on and on I go.
I need something more, to feel fulfilled and joyful, but sadly I do not know what that something is and thus continue on……as I always have, with an empty feeling.

Well at least i'll always have my Morrissey :)



(I am well aware that I have a wonderful family, great friends and of course my health and really my sadness is a minor inconvenience compared to many other things in the world, it's just how i'm feeling at the moment)

New Years

I hope that everyone had a safe and happy new year/holiday. I know that Christmas is about spending time with family and friends however I often receive gifts that baffle me. Take for instance these lovely slippers I was given this year. They appear to be something that either Peter Pan or perhaps the Smurfs might enjoy. Take note of the pretty pom pom by the heel. Umm yeah....I asked if they were some type of joke as everyone else received normal slippers; or perhaps she tried to find the ugliest pair possible for fun; maybe they were meant for my grandmother. Nope, mom thought I would like these. PP told my mother it's a good thing she's not sensitive as I rattled off the comments above. I must admit they were good for a laugh!

I spent New Years Eve playing Rock Band and belting out some NIN and Bowie at a friends house. Those bloody drums are next to impossible to play and I didn't even bother with the guitar. The more malibu rum I drank the more of a rockstar I became :)

We also played Cranium and like any grade 8 dance the men were on one side and the women on the other. The game was tied but the bloody bastards came up and stole our thunder at the last minute. I'm definitely done with the New Years Bar scene, it was fun to stay in with a bunch of close friends and play silly games whilst drinking until the wee hours of the morning. Waking up was rather unpleasant though as the entire room as well as my face/ hair/clothes took on the smell of the air mattress.....bleh!! It was this disgusting plasticy yucky smell.

Every year I make a New Years Resolution however I actually forgot about this tradition of mine until it was too late. So I've just decided to work on the goal list I set out and to steal TT's resolution to be more fabulous this year. Perhaps I should start off by not taking photos in random bathrooms anymore. LD & I like to do this when out at bars...umm yeah.

Does anyone else out there do this LOL?