Hmmm so I've been having a bit of a meltdown for lack of a better word recently. I don't care to describe it or go into any details but I have not been myself at all lately. I knew it was bad and I reached out to a friend over the pond as well as one close by. They're amazing women and I'm a very very lucky person to have such wonderful friends in my life so big hugs ladies!! I've been meeting with a professional over the last few weeks to get some advice, we're focusing our sessions on career counselling and figuring out what types of careers would best suit my interests and personality! It's been quite interesting and I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders after the first session, but to be honest I'm back to feeling like BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I don't know what I want to do with my life! I've been debating about going back to school.......but for what? That is the question......

I'm pretty sure I'm burnt out from my field, it's emotionally draining to work day in and day out with people who are in a constant state of crisis. Many have addictions and mental health issues and it's hard to work with the same people for years and years and years and not see a change in them. I feel like I've become a bit jaded and cynical and cranky! I met a volunteer recently and she had the most amazing attitude and spirit, my field needs a million more people like her!!

One of my goals this week was to go over a list of like 100 jobs the tests picked out as matches......I wrote down about 4 that interested me oh my! I feel like screaming!!! I'm in the midst of learning my new position which is stressful, I have pages upon pages of stats to learn, I'm losing hours and therefore taking on another new position at the end of this month which I will have to learn on top of my already new position.....are you still following me....so I'll have 4 different positions to make up my full time hours! Huh...exactly!!!

Also, I just found out that someone close to me is terminally ill. It saddens me greatly, she's such a wise woman, I've always found great comfort in talking to her and I remember at my Aunts funeral, I was 22 years old and stuck to her like glue! She made everything okay with her words even though everything was not okay. She's not a religious woman but a very spiritual and intuitive soul that embraces the world and it's people with open arms. I'm sending love and light her way in hopes that she will have many more months ..... years.... can I be greedy and wish for many more years......so that I can continue to learn from her and she can continue to live!