Who here likes Accents the most????

So on Friday night K, Jennifer and I went to the local pub to have a pint or two. Why is it, when we go to this particular place, or anywhere for that matter random men feel the need to come and join our table? I don't generally just saunter over to a table full of men and plop down.

Anyway so let me introduce you to Leslie. He came over to our table and asked which one of us liked accents the best as his friend Steve had a Welsh accent. We all stared blankly at him and shrugged. I totally dig accents however this clearly was Leslie's "in" with women so i told him accents do not impress me. So Leslie sits down "just for 5 minutes" and in those "5 mintues" which were really like an hour he procedes to tell us he's 37 years old numerous times, he practically bear hugs K and Jennifer tells him several times "no touching." His politics are disturbing he's a conservative and declare's his absolute love for Stephen Harper....Bush....and that he would kiss the ground Mike Harris walks on. Clearly none of us have anything in common with Leslie and it only gets worse.

Leslie prefaced his thoughts with "i'm not a racist but...." i'm sure you can all see where this is going. He then procedes to tell us that he wants his baby to look like him....which we all agree that it should as it will be coming from him unless of course he adopts. He then tells us that he does not want his baby to look Chinese or Black or...., "is that racist?" We're all like "YES." Leslie i'm sure was not feeling the love at our table and had his Welsh friend Steve come over and join us while he got himself a pint. Steve was extremely hard to understand as his accent was so thick. At one point he said something and i repeated "you have more fun with men?" to which he replied "no no no, more fun with me mum." Basically he thought we were boring (come on now, those of you that know us ...PLEASE!!) Steve didn't like that I thought he preferred the company of men and left the table. Leslie then returns and at some point tells Jennifer that she has the eyes of a magician (What the fuck does that mean LOL) calls her our Leader and continues to make racist remarks (I ask everyone if we're on Candid Camera, maybe it's all a joke). After a few more horrible words from his mouth K has decided that she's had enough and tells him she thinks it's time he left. He then asks Jennifer and I if we agree to which of course we do. This angers Leslie, he gets up walks forward and yells "Fuck you all" then in a softer tone "I didn't really mean that, goodnight" as he stumbles into chairs knocking them over in his stuppor.

The girls and i then decide that the next people who want to sit at our table will have to tell their most embarassing story and we'll pretend like we've already told ours to one another. (This stems from an anal beads story some man told PP and Jennifer one evening).

So after a few mintues of being free from Leslie, in walk Carl and Kevin. Carl and Kevin had a bet going and wanted to know who was American as we had Marlboroughs sitting on the table. We invite them to sit down as they seem like a breath of fresh air after the other two mofos and they even humour us with their most embarassing stories.

Saturday we surprised Tokyo Tintin in the early afternoon with mimosa's and he would not let us leave the apartment until the entire bottle of champagne was finished. Needless to say there was a bit of stumbling going on as we left for lunch...well really our breakfast. Great way to start the day :P
The Tiki Hula Luau was a lot of fun. There was dancing, fruity blender drinks and what else but pin the torch on the Polynesian dancer.

I actually made it to the Raptors game as i drank lots and lots of water at the party. It was a very intense sit on the edge of your seat, stand up and cheer kind of game. The Raptors were leading most of the time, however it turned around in the last few minutes so they lost 97-96 to the Mavericks. I really enjoyed the game, and the halftime show was amazing, very Cirque du Soleil.

A few of my favorite things....

I am in love with Bath & Body Works this amazing store over the river (In the States). They carry fragrant lotions, soaps, candles, that type of merchandise. My inner girly girl rushes out of my body when i am in that store and squeals in delight at all the wonderfully scented goodies.

Here are a few of my favorite things:

I am a lip balm connoisseur. It is rare that i will ever be seen without it and let me tell you B & B has one of the best lip balms out on the market today. It is made with shea butter, sweet almond oil and wheat germ and funny enough it is named "My Favorite Lip Balm" how fitting. (That is a picture of my stash....thanks PP)This is my ever growing collection of hand soap. They have a foaming soap, a moisturizing lotion soap and a regular one as well. Seriously people run out there and buy some today. My favorite is their Warm Sugar scent, but they also have Sweet Pea, Coconut Lime, Raspberries...you name it they have it. I feel like running upstairs and washing my hands right now!!!

These are called "wallflowers" which i refer to as "stinky's." You plug them into the wall and they emit a wonderful scent. Some include Caramel, Vanilla, Warm Sugar.....i must admit i love cinnamon and tried that one however i found it way too overpowering.

Last but not least is their handlotion. These are all tiny purse sized lotions that i picked up a few weekends ago. Love it love it love it. Seriously, every time i put some on, i breathe it in and a big smile goes all across my face.....soooooo good!!!

If any of the men were curious (not that you would not enjoy the above products) but they also have a men's section with shaving and bodycare products.

Have a great weekend my bloggy friends, i will be wearing my fruit hat proudly and helping Tokyo Tintin consume some pina colodas........but not too many, i have to be up at noon the next day to hit up the Raptors game.......this may or may not happen LOL.

Tiki Hula Luau

You should all go and check out Tokyo Tintin's blog this week. He's put the People's Republic of China On Notice and has this hilarious yet shocking video of Americans well, being Americans (no offence). For the Canucks it's sort of like Rick Mercer's Talking to American's segment. Eg. Name a country that begins with the letter "U." Some of the answers were "Utah" "Yugoslavia" The host was like "What about the United States?" Doh!!!

It's also Tokyo Tintin's special week. He's having a Hula Luau party for his birthday extravaganza and K the girl we visited in Africa will be making an appearance. Sugoi is the only word to describe such an event!!! Here are a few items that will be accompanying me to the shindig:

A fruit wrap

A jointed Polynesian Dancer to hang on the wall (Strange resemblance to TT)

This was on the back of the package. Various poses we can put said dancer in. I like the 3rd pose the best!! Sort of sitting, legs crossed with a flaming torch across his lap...Awesome!!
Of course there will be fruity tropical drinks to enjoy and leis all around. Let's all wish TT a Hau`oli la hanau!

What is this grade 2??

So i gave the Behavioural Psycologist (BP) a call on Tuesday and on Thursday there was a message on my voicemail....from his friend!! He said that BP was out of town but they were going to be at the same bar on Friday and to "show up." Am i the only one that finds this rather bizzare and creepy? He obviously had to call his friend to tell him to call me....so why didn't he just call himself? I'm not sure i will be going this evening, probably not. LD offered to call him and let him know that i was busy or out of town LMAO.

I have decided to share some of the items i have gathered from my travels with you, my lovely readers. Enjoy:

I got this mask in Tokyo, Japan


This is a mask that i bought in Africa

Another African purchase
This was a beautiful handpainted card that was a gift from a local


I picked these up in Venice
A goblet from Germany
And lastly, this was not purchased from afar. It was my Aunt's and when she passed away i was given the Buddha. I love it!!!

Elaine???

On more than one occassion my male friend has told me that i remind him of Elaine from Seinfeld. He recently moved away and returned over the holiday's for a visit. We had some drinks and some laughs and on his way out the door he turns to me and says "Ashley, you remind me so much of Elaine," just completely out of the blue......AGAIN!!!

I can't figure out if this is a compliment or an insult :)

So i decided to take a Seinfeld identity test.....and you guessed it, i'm Elaine.

Here's the quiz if you want to see which character you identify as.

Last year i wrote a post about an embarassing moment that my sister had, it's too funny not to share again. Enjoy.....

I read a funny blog about a man's crazy perverted old neighbour and it made me laugh as well reminded me of a hilarious story. I've been meaning to ask my sister about the details again but for those that know me....i'll never remember to ask. So i'll go from my shoddy memory of what she told me in the summer.

She was having dinner at her sister in law's house. The sister in law's father in law was there. He's an older Italian man probably in his 70's or 80's....minor details. Anyway so she's sitting alone outside with this man and they are talking about food. He mentions that he doesn't like sweets much ....but does like one sweet thing. So in keeping up with the conversation my sister inquires as to what this might be "like chocolate?" and he responds with "pussy" "i love the sweet taste of pussy" He then continues on and on with various stories about his genitals and women's breasts .... she was mortified and could do nothing but laugh as she was in absolute shock at what this man was saying. When she recanted the full story i do recall my mouth dropping to the floor, tears streaming down my face in sheer delight at this man's lack of tact. She also told my dad the story...and he's apparently met the man....dad however did not recall discussing this man's genitals LOL.

Happy New Year!!

I've had an especially great week. I met a delightful behavioural psychologist for children on Friday evening ( I will call him in the New Year) and last night the girls and I had a great night on the town. We went to the casino to see Philp Gagnon. He's an impressionist and sang everyone from Barry White to Mick Jagger spot on. He was also extremely humourous and we were all laughing so hard our cheeks hurt.

We then went for martini's and beer (nice combo i know) to this cozy little bar. We had some more laughs....however the biggest one came at the end of the evening. This guy sits down beside me and starts asking what we are celebrating and what not. Turns out he went to our highschool, but he's older and does not recognize any of us. We however know exactly who he is (once he told me his name). You see in highschool this guy was like the hottest thing around, the Brad Pitt if you will, we all had grade 9 crushes on him. Turns out the years have not been so kind to him, he's now more like George Castanza. When i turned to the girls and introduced him "Hey ladies do you remember so and so" the jaws dropped, someone pointed and was like "you're so and so?" in disbelief. Shock and awe people, shock and awe.

So i will leave you with my New Year's Resolution for 2007.
2007 is the year of taking action. I often say that I am interested in doing something but never actually follow through. I haven't been skiing since i was 14 but every winter the words "i'd love to go skiing this year" leave my mouth....and i still have yet to go. I've been wanting to take a French course .....for years.......still have not. You get the idea, so my friends 2007 is the year of taking action, being a doer, not a talker. Happy New Year kittens!!!!!!!

P.S (we made the Christmas lightmare video, however it's 196 MB and youtube will only let me post 100 MB, does anyone know how to zip the video or to compact it?)

Loving the Time off

So I hope that everyone had a good holiday. I'm not a big fan of Christmas myself, infact my sister commented that i was on TV...when i looked this was on


Glad the hustle and bustle is over, though i've had a fantastic time seeing all of my friends. That's what i enjoy about the holidays, everyone makes time for one another, people fly in from afar and good times ensue with lots of laughter!!

I've also rediscovered my love for Starbucks....groan Jennifer groan if you must but i do love it. I really enjoy the Green Tea Frappucino

and the pumpkin spice latte. It's like heaven in a cup.

I still have another 6 days off of work which is lovely. I imagine i will spend the remainder of time catching up on some reading (i bought a book at the Book Depot i've been wanting to read it for years and it was $3 so i couldn't resist "Black and Blue" by Anna Quindlen), spending more time with friends and just relaxing.

I'm also looking forward to a girls night out on the 30th. We're going to see Philip Gagnon an impressionist at the casino who apparently is amazing. Oh and i bought my ticket to go and visit Sly in England in February .... Life is Great!!!

6 Weird Habits.....

First off i am absolutely loving Esthero's song "Wikked Lil Girls" check it out. As well i've been playing Ryan Adams "Come pick me up" lately.




A few years ago PP and i made a video called "A Christmas Lightmare." It showcased all of the houses we could find that made Clarke Grizwalds' house pale in comparison. Hopefully we will get a chance to do that again soon and will post our masterpiece before the end of the year. Now onto:


6 Weird Habits: Bit of a repost but deal with it :)

1) It horrifies me when others drink out of my glass or bottle or whatever it is i am drinking out of. I think it is terribly unsanitary and at the very least if they want to try my drink, i will turn the glass around so our lip marks do not touch. I don't need someone elses' saliva and food bits in my glass. Same goes for anything else i would put up to my lips.

2) Whenever i am out in public walking past someone and they sneeze, i hold my breath until i pass the area that they were in. This also applies when people cough. Perhaps i have some weird issue with getting sick that i am unaware of, but i certainly do not want their icky germs in my body.

3)I have this obsessive habit of picking at my toenails. I'm not sure why but anyone that knows me has seen me at some time or another whip off my socks and fondle my toenails. Kinda gross....

4)I like to count things. I could be sitting in a room with a bunch of people and i will count how many are there quietly to myself. This accomplishes absolutely nothing but i continuously do it.

5) Whenever I see a dead animal on the side of the road i bless it. My friend Lisa does this and i thought she was a big weirdo the 1st time i saw her do it and now i do it as well.

6) Years and years ago a friend told us while we were out drinking one evening that if you blow into the beer bottle when it is opened, you will not get a hangover. Usually a bit of mist comes out and if you get rid of it you will not feel the pangs of death the next day. Silly and very untrue, but i still do it to this day.

Does anyone really care??

I borrowed this from Jennifer, who borrowed it from Tokyo Tintin

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. Insects, mainly spiders and gagillepedes
2. Global Warming now that i've watched An Inconvenient Truth
3. Cancer

THREE THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND
1. How this one horn-like hair follicle inbetween my eyes refuses to die. No amount of Electrolysis will get rid of this sucker
2. How racism can run so rampant in the year 2006
3. Math...

THREE THINGS I'D LIKE TO LEARN
1. I would like to be fluent in French
2. How to Salsa ...it looks like so much fun
3. Even though Dan said he felt like a lame-o-dinosaur with his skis, i would like to get back at it and learn to whiz down the hills effortlessly

THREE THINGS I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. Fabulous new calf boots
2. White Blouse
3. Black and Gray striped pants just below my knees

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. Lucky Bamboo...i just bought it, i'll let you know how that goes
2. Papyarazzi Body Lotion
3. Picture of our Vegas trip...and one of bunny!!

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE
1. Climb Mount Kilimanjaro
2. Travel around the world...I want to see as much as i possibly can
3. Make a difference to someone somewhere

THREE GOOD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. I'm a very easy going person
2. I'm quite punctual
3. I have a killer sense of humour and love to laugh

THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. I am a terribly selfish person...i know this and am working on it
2. I'm not a very confident person and do not give myself enough credit
3. I see things as Black or White, there is not much of a gray area

THREE PARTS OF MY HERITAGE
1. Romanian
2. German
3. American...ahhhh

THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
1. My very straight teeth (thanks for the braces)
2. As much as i'd like stick straight hair, i'll admit i like the option of having it curly as well (it's naturally curly)
3. That's about it, can't think of a 3rd

THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
1. My weight
2. The wrinkles that are beginning to peak out from all the years of tanning
3. I'm also not greatly fond of my nose

THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I am a rather melancholy soul but hide it well
2. I saw the Easter bunny when i was quite young hopping outside, no joke
3. When i was a kidlet i used to pick up cigarette butts in the park and pretend to smoke them...EWE

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. Oh please
2. Whatever
3. Good Lord or Oh Lord

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO




1. Galapagos Islands


2. Bali, Indonesia



3. Middle East, Egypt, South America...everywhere :)

Low Pile Carpeting VS Disco Bush

Alright i posted about this a long long time ago when i had like 3 readers. So i'm reposting with a few add ins to see what the consensus is this time around. I'm sure it will be the same LOL.

So there has been a lot of discussion lately between a few friends and myself regarding women and their sense of tidiness down there. I will admit that i have let the "carpeting" as Jennifer calls it, get a little untidy now and again. Unfortunately it is at the most inopportune times but i digress. Generally i like to keep in under control. Once i even went as far as to get one of those Brazilian/LA waxes....hmmmm you have no idea the level of pain that accompanied that experience. I think the woman doing it had finished like 2 strips when i tried to get up and say that was fine it was enough i didn't want anymore done to me....afterall why was i paying for the torture? Alas she finished the job and i felt much like i'd imagine a pornstar would feel with my little "landing strip" as they are called. I didn't want to go completely bare or else i'd feel like a 6 year old. It was an interesting albeit painful experience that involved a stranger near my genitals and popsicle sticks....Good times LOL. I also had to slather lotion all over my nether region while she stood and watched.

I told my friend the other day about my unfortunate disco bush story and she told me she has an appointment to get a brazilian. She sent me this in my email and said i should take their advice:

"Sexual intercourse itself doesn't feel any better or worse with a brazilian, but your new-found adoration of your pruned privet heightens your sexual confidence.
As well as sexier, you feel cleaner too. However scarce our English summers, when it is hot outside, you can be sure that you'll feel breezy, cool and fresh inside. So, now that you look neater, feel cleaner and more sexually rampant, why would you ever go back to a steamy, unkempt, full bush?"

Now i know what Jennifer says "low pile carpeting means high traffic area" ....

What does everyone else think....neat and tidy is better or let it grow au natural? And what about the men? Should they go completely bare as well? Funny enough, most of the ones i've seen have been hairless....if we go by Jennifer's theory than i've shagged a bunch of slutty men :P

Is this for Real???

(Click on the photo to enlarge it)

I figured it was time to share a part of me with you, my fellow bloggers. Do you like my house??? We're trying to see if the garbage will touch the roof, a silly game we've been playing since i was quite young...it's almost there, few more years i reckon.

Seriously though, this house has apparently been in my region since i was a kidlet, only i just found out it existed a few weeks ago. I was absolutely flabbergasted when my eyes settled in on the yard. WHO lives like this??? There must be some SERIOUS mental health issues....and why has he/she been allowed to pile so much garbage (treasures) in the yard like that? Take note of the pile behind the blue truck, it's almost as tall as the roof. Apparently the neighbours have been trying to get the place cleaned up for years to no avail. I wanted to knock on the door and pretend i was selling something just to get a better look, however i was unable to locate the door and didn't realize i would need to repel down a pile of garbage in search of one. As well that sign outside was a bit daunting so i snapped the photo from my car and drove off. This place seriously leaves me speechless!!!

Oh My

So apparently there are only a few people out there that care about helping others and World AIDS Day...good to know.

So while i've been out and about i have noticed some rather strange people around lately. The 1st one i did not witness myself but i was with PP when she saw the man. We were at the grocery store in line waiting to pay when PP burst into uncontrollable laughter, so much so that she had tears streaming down her face. Finally outside she composed herself and reinacted what she had seen. Apparently some man in line felt the need to adjust himself, but not at all in a subtle way. He was in a squat like position, knees out to the side, gyrating his hips and digging like he was looking for lost gold at his balls in the middle of the grocery store for all to see. Classy....

Yesterday we were at Costco waiting for someone. PP was telling a story and i drifted off in the middle of it to stare at this woman. She was trying to exit the building through the sliding electric doors at the entrance (They only have a sensor on the outside and open when someone is entering the building). She managed to get her hands inbetween the two doors and was trying to pry them open like superman. Eventually someone came in the entrance and she was able to get out. I was very perplexed by this whole thing as the sliding exit doors are directly beside the entrance......What the fuck was she doing???

Lastly, we went to dinner and PP pointed out this grandmother eating with her family and grandchildren. She must have been about 70 or so with white hair and a pink sweatshirt that read SEXUAL on the front of it...Good times!!!

Has anyone else seen strange goings on out there?

As an addendum i tried fruit cake for the 1st time ever last night. I got a small piece with cherries and raisons and who knows what else, just so i could have the full experience. It was so horrible i spit it into my napkin and gagged. WHO eats this stuff???? Must be the same people that eat Spam...I don't get it at all.

World AIDS Day & Ten Thousand Villages

December 1 is World AIDS Day. The WHO and UNAIDS estimate 39.5 million people are living with HIV/AIDS at this very moment. Please please please remember to wear a condom and keep yourselves safe :)

It is that time of year again where i'm feeling slightly charitable. This is horrible as i know people are in need year round, not just during the holidays, however this is when i choose to give. Last year i supplied a school kit to a child in Laos through Ten Thousand Villages. I struggled with choosing a gift as the live animals (think goats, chickens) could really really help a family in need, provide milk, eggs, protein...you get the idea. I just couldn't get myself to send such an item and decided that education was the way to go and hence sent the school kit.

This year the choices are:

Trees for restoration efforts
Learning materials for preschoolers affected by AIDS
Livestock for hardworking families
Training for inspired artisans
Fill a farm with a four legged charm

Just to give a bit of a background on Ten Thousand Villages they provide vital, fair income to Third World people by marketing their handicrafts and telling their stories in North America.

Ten Thousand Villages works with artisans who would otherwise be unemployed or underemployed, providing sustainable income through fair trade. This income helps pay for food, education, health care and housing. Thousands of volunteers in Canada and the United States work with Ten Thousand Villages in their home communities.

As well i was made aware of World Vision and their gift ideas which are quite vast. They range from Mosquito Nets, Bee Keeping Kits, Child Immunizations to Clean Water, Mother to Child HIV Prevention and Building Homes and Schools. Phew!!! That link will take you to the catalogue which is quite large and very very cool. I think a lot of us take our lives and our privilege if you will for granted. This is one very small way each and every one of us can touch anothers soul and show that we care.

Weekend in Review

So as most of you know i have a slight obsession with Mr. Jeff Martin formally the frontman of the Tea Party. The first show i ever went to was 14 or 15 years ago so i cannot even muster up a guess as to how many shows i've actually seen. I can say however that the show i saw on Friday was my absolute favorite thus far hands down. He played a solo show in a small venue accompanied by the Toronto Tabla Ensemble. The musicians were amazing and so incredibly talented. They brought together the rhythems of India and meshed it with a Canadian artist. Kathak dancer Joanna de Souza a member of the ensemble was also able to interpret parts of the evening through dance which reminded me of the Indian dance recital i went to see recently. The evening was almost spiritual in nature and i felt goosebumps all over my body more than once over the evening.

Saturday was a little bit different than Friday. M and i decided at 12:30am to hit up the Wrinkle Ranch as us locals call it to see what our life will be like after 30 and single...let me tell you it's not pretty. As you can decipher from the name the crowd tends to be of a more mature nature 30 to 70 give or take. So we go in and sit down and within 5 minutes there is an older gentleman at our table offering to purchase us booze. We politely decline as we had just arrived and purchased our own and continued to watch the car wrecks all around us. There was the 50 something woman, gyrating around and stealing ballcaps off of men's heads while laughing like mad...is this the mating dance of the drunk 50 year old? There was the man my father's age that grabbed my arm while i was merely walking by. I did not entertain that move and grabbed my arm back and kept on walking. M and I decided to get away from the crowd and sit on the patio. Silly girls, we were not safe out there either. A group of men in their late 30's decided to chat us up. We gave in, let them buy us drinks and actually had some really funny conversations but that was it. It was a ridiculous evening, i felt like Gisele Bundchen on the catwalk. If this is what single at 30 looks like....i will stay 28 forever.

Things you don't say...

So i read a few other blogs with this and decided to borrow it.

List things you want to say to people you know, but you never will for whatever reason.

*I wish you felt about me the way you do about her.

*You are the only person in the world who does not judge me and for that i am eternally grateful. You've surprised me in unique ways when my heart has been left for dead. You even accompanied me on a roadtrip that i was competely and utterly embarassed about....and said that you would do it again in a heartbeat! You're an amazing friend and I cannot imagine my life without you.

*I have given up trying to satisfy you. Every single movement i make is under your microscope, infront of your disapproving eyes.

*You suffocate me.

*The distance between us makes me appreciate our friendship even more. I miss the late nights and laughter and I cherish those moments when we make time for one another.

*You are so self-centered...it's not always about you.

*You light up my life!! I never laugh with anyone the way i do with you...tears streaming down my face, snorting, side splitting ridiculous hurt my ab's type of laughter.

*I am envious of your life and would trade places in a heartbeat...even though i know deep down that you are sad.