Sunday, April 15, 2007

Vegas Baby!!!

Highlights of the Trip:

*The teenager sitting directly behind me on the plane gagging and eventually throwing up.... a lot....upon our arrival into MacCarran Airport. I wanted to die.


(GoGo dancers in the tub)

*Tao....I adore Tao. It's this 42,000 square foot playground with a restaurant, dance club and a lounge all under the watchful eye of a 20 foot Buddha. When you enter the club there are nearly naked women bathing in a tub surrounded by water and flowers. The service at this bar dreadful but well worth the wait. We partied like it was 1999 into the very wee hours of the morning.

*Which leads into my next point.... no last call. Aside from the fact that you can consume your alcoholic beverages anywhere at all, Vegas has a 24 hour happy hour. We went out one evening at 2am to O'Shea's. It's this little bar attached to the Flamingo where we always seem to meet the cream of the crop. This year it was a group of homophobic racisits that we let entertain us for a few hours. They were ridiculous. We emerged from the bar at 7am...oh my!!

(We ordered a shot....they gave us 1/2 a glass of liquidy delight)




(Enormous drinks as well...NOTE: this is not my drink but merely a prop)



(LD and I leaving O'Shea's at 7am, "Crap it's light outside")

*Jennifer and her interest in the police and people getting arrested, which we saw quite a few times. She likened it to watching cops and squealed with delight when she thought she saw a low speed car chase. "Look, look guys look."

*The words that came out of Jennifer's mouth were also a highlight for this trip. For those of you that know her, you'll understand what I mean. She's hilarious. Some guy walked into O'Shea's and declared "All I want to eat is some pussy" to which Jennifer replied "I don't think they sell that at Subway." (He was heading for the Subway restaurant). She also said "How is it possible that I am both the most flirtatious of the group and also the Cliff Clavin?" LD and I had tears streaming down our faces we were laughing so hard. Jennifer is the biggest flirt i've ever met and she is also a wealth of information and loves to share her stories or answer questions....much like Cliff.


*Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area was absolutely beautiful. We rented a car and drove along the scenic route at dusk. It was such a contrast to the lights and action of the city that never sleeps, it was serene and absolutely breathtaking.



*Our only celebrity sighting was Exhibit from Pimp my Ride. He was playing craps at the Palms....LD pointed him out, I had no idea who he was. Oh and apparently Prince plays once a week at the Rio...dammit!!!! We missed him!!!

*The bartender Josh nicknamed me "Trashley"....how the heck did that happen. I've had Rashrey, Assley and many many other nicknames but never Trashley. LD and Jennifer thought that was the funniest thing they had ever heard.....I hate Josh :)

*Our flight into the Denver airport was HORRIBLE. I've never had such a ghastly landing. The pilot asked the flight attendants to take their seats early into the flight as there was a lot of turbulance to which Jennifer replied "no shit." As we approached the runway our plane was teetering back and forth like a seesaw. I thought one of the wings would hit before the wheels. I hate landing and taking off.....this just traumatized me even more.



So all and all we had a fantastic vacation. It was much more relaxed than last time, the weather was fantastic and we went off the beaten path. Seriously though, my body needs a break from all the late nights and copious amounts of booze. Viva Las Vegas!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Would you Rather......


We made it back from Vegas safe and sound however, I am far too tired and under the weather to actually post about our vacation at this present time. I even slathered the inside of my nose with balm on the plane as Dan suggested.....bollocks I say!!! Too many germy people in such a small area. On the bright side, it didn't hit me until our flight home and was in truth more likely my body protesting the lack of sleep and obscene amounts of booze I inflicted upon it. I'll post some photos and such this week. For now, let's play a quick game of Would you Rather????

1.Would you rather have all of your hair feel/look like pubes or be completely bald??
(Hmm i'd have to go with bald on this ones, wigs people wigs)

2.Chug a strangers cum out of a full 2 litre bottle or drink a 12 oz glass with a mixture of month old milk and cremated body ash??
(Crap, i'd have to say the 2 litre bottle. Old food and drinks make me want to vomit)

3. Have sex once with a 99 year old or be passionately lusted after and stalked by people over the age of 75??
(Stalkers = creepy and really how long can a 99 year old last, that would be the least painful of the two)

Feel free to add your own, hope everyone had a great Easter!!! Oh, I just had this emailed to me and it's freaking hilarious. Check it out, it's less than 2 mins long. It's entitled "Deadly Handsome Men"

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Peace Out Yo!



Ummmmm I took my snow tires off of my car last weekend and this is what i wake up to.........you've got to be fucking kidding me!!! I am well aware that it is a very tiny amount of snow however that does not negate the fact that it's minus 3 outside but feels like minus 10 with the windchill. Brrrrrr!!!


I saw the surgeon today and he's sending me off for an MRI to see if I have torn cartlidge. I was less than thrilled with this answer as I was hoping for some type of solution .... now....not in another month and a half. His only advice was to "take it easy until the MRI." Gee thanks!!!


The one thing I am very much looking forward to this week is Vegas Baby!!! I'm most looking forward to the 89 degree weather (some of you already have that now....bastards) and just being able to relax ... well as much as one can in a place that never sleeps. I went shopping the other day for a new bathing suit and could not find one tankini with a built in bra.....not one. So i'm heading over the river to Victoria Secret's to see what they have. I figure the models have huge tatas so they must have suits with some type of support right? Anyway, I wish you all a great weekend, enjoy spending time with your families or stuffing yourselves silly with chocolate. I'll be at Jimmy Buffets at 9am "because

Monday, April 02, 2007

Miss Ash goes Platinum

So the Leaf's game was fantastic and the seats were even better. We had four gold seats (21 rows from the ice) & two platinum seats (7 rows from the ice). The 6 of us took turns in the ultra close seats. I took mine last, during the 3rd period and was able to catch the overtime up close and personal, much to the dismay of the girl who gave us the tickets. I received a text "You bastards" from her haha. The game was great, Penguins tied it up with 4 seconds left in the game.....Crazy!!! This poor man had a heart attack, lost all of his vital signs but thankfully a nurse was sitting close by and I heard he made it through. Certainly cannot complain, great seats for free, it's good to have connections yo!!


I missed a friends Stag & Doe for the game, but made it back at 1am to say hello and head out for a few drinks with them, so I was happy about that.


I spent friday evening at a play, had the game on saturday and threw a wedding shower on sunday. So needless to say it has been a very full weekend and unfortunately there will be no time to rest this week. I'll be off to Vegas on Saturday and only have the next few days to get everything in order as the stores will be closed on Friday and I am out of town on Tuesday. I am looking forward to the toasty weather......and Tao oh how I adore Tao!!!! We've also been throwing around the idea of a day trip perhaps to Red Canyon or The Painted Desert. I'd love to go hiking but doubt that will be an option due to my wanky knee. It would however be lovely to see some of the desert and beauty while we are there.

I am also thrilled that my appt with the surgeon is on Thursday so I can figure out what the heck is going on. I'm sure it's nothing major but i will be relieved once I actually speak to the man and can get a treatment plan in place. Hope everyone had a great weekend!!!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Hillarity at it's fineset!!






This photo makes me laugh, it was sent from a friend over the pond. I must say it looks like a rather awkward game of soccer, perhaps that's how the aussie's play, who knows. We thought it would be funny for you ladies and gents to come up with creative captions to go with the photo. I personally really can't think of anything other than he looks like a deer walking for the 1st time after birth haha or "I'm the goalpost dammit, shoot between my legs!!!"Which both are terribly poor attempts at humour.....boo Ashley boo!!


Have a great weekend folks. I'm off to the Leafs game tomorrow night, Platinum seats Woo Hoo!!! I'm only going so I can look at the eye candy in the stands :)

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Ummmm Can you even Imagine??? I can't....


This is apparently a real article from Housekeeping Magazine circa 1955. Click on the photo to enlarge the text.
A few of my favs:
*remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours
*remember he is the master of the house
*a good wife always knows her place
HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Jesus Camp

On friday my friend and I rented Jesus Camp.........oh my!!!! Throughout the entire documentary our faces were scrunched up and brows furrowed in that sort of HUH???? & WTF is going on sort of way. It was all so very bizzare.

Children's Minister Becky Fischer runs an evangelical summer camp called "Kids on Fire" in Devil's Lake(tee hee), North Dakota. We are introduced to three children, Tori, Levi and Rachel. Inside the camp the children are often shown crying, speaking in tongues and are taught the evils of abortion and of course Harry Potter. They are taught to be better solidiers in the Army of God and at one point Fischer says that she would like fundamentalist Christians to show the same kind of devotion as fundamentalist Muslims. She denies brainwashing the children and the parents say that they do not force their children to love the Lord. It's funny though, at one point in the film Fischer asks her congregation "who loves the Lord?" and one woman forcibly raises her children's hands. Another young boy tells his friends at the camp that he does in fact watch Harry Potter at his father's house, something his mother does not allow. The faces of the children he tells are pricesless, looks of absolute shock and horror that he would watch such a thing. Don't even get me started on the lifesize cutout of George Bush that was placed infront of the congregation.......oh lord!! I found the whole anti-abortion part very creepy, seeing young children(7, 8 & 9 year olds) with red tape on their mouths with the words LIFE in black marker. It's an interesting albeit disturbing documentary and worth a view if you have not seen it.

In other news I completely broke down today in tears, full out sobbing like a 10 year old. I had been out all afternoon with a friend I had not seen in years. It was great to catch up and we had a wonderful visit. I headed to my car and my knee was absolutely throbbing, I could barely walk. This has been going on for far too long and I just lost it. I can't play volleyball, I can't go to my kickboxing class, I am going to Vegas in April and would love to hike the Grand Canyon and doubt that will be possible. The pills he gave me are not working and i'm still extremely swollen, sore and apparently feeling terribly sorry for myself. Luckily the Dr. will be going over my xrays with me this week and I will be seeing the surgeon in early April so hopefully I will have some idea of what the hell is going on. But yeah, i cried!!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Bombaloch!!!

Oh my!!!! Bunny decided it was a great idea to tear apart some paper towels that he had found. Sneaky little bugger!!! How could I possibly get angry at such a cute face? I just started to laugh at all the fun my little bombaloch was having. He's soooo freaking cute!!

The following photos are from an email i received about mother nature being dirty. She sure is, take a look:






Speaking of dirty, my friend texted me about the other night, the fun he had and the lipstick that was left on him....crap.











Sunday, March 18, 2007

Yowza!!

I have had some knee issues as of late and decided to give the doc a visit as it was becoming unbearable really. Turns out there is fluid, perhaps a tear and who knows what else. He gave me some pills, an xray and a referral to an Orthopaedic Surgeon.....yikes!!! He doubts it will be that dramatic, but thought it best to check it out completely to be on the safe side. It's funny, you don't really notice things until they hurt, like walking up or down the stairs is killing me right now yet it's something i've obviously been taking for granted. This sucks!!


I spent St. Patty's Day with a bunch of friends at one bar.......all afternoon and all night long. We had a good time, the line up outside was ridiculous at like 7pm. Very odd but didn't concern us as we had already been there for a few hours at that point. These silly mofos were rather entertaining. I wonder if their arms are sore this morning haha.


This is Gavin, he claimed that this was the only green shirt that he owned. I wonder if his current girlfriend appreciated the shirt.



My friend decided to tell me that he would really like to date me ...... ummm errr, ahhhhh. To make matters worse I may or may not have kissed him errrrrr ahhhhhh oops! Not thinking this is such a good idea. I'll just pretend I have no idea what he's talking about if he brings it up haha.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Grandpa Kicked my Ass!!!

So over the past week, i've had a few birthday celebrations. LD and I went to visit Jennifer last weekend for some all you can eat sushi and some shameful behaviour which included a few people grabbing the girls a la Jennifer's request. Thanks Jennifer, that's the most action i've had in a long time ;)

My hometown celebration turned out to be a great success as well. I have different groups of friends, there's the boys that i've been friends with for 13 years, there's the highschool crew, the rugby boys...you get the idea. For one evening, all of these groups came together and it was fantastic. I had an amazing time.........that is until the shots started to kick in and I desperately wanted to go home. Unfortunately my friends are not into girly shots.....no siree bob....tequila, jager, liquid cocaine OH MY!!! I went downhill fast and begged random people to grab me as much water as possible; a trough would have been nice at this point. I stumbled over to a group of my friends and begged them to take me home. This request was met with laughter and "you're not really going home are you?" It was only 1am. The most embarassing part of the entire evening occured when I left the bar early and my friend who I refer to as grandpa stayed. He loathes not only going out, but also when such nights fall into the wee hours of the morning. Lucky for me the taunting began only moments after I got into the cab. I didn't pick up my phone but was left with messages "hey Ash we're out drinking" "hahahaha" "snicker snicker" "what happended to the party girl....must be the old age" insert a roar of laughter. I am never ever going to live that down. If this is what 29 feels like.....you can take it back because i'm not interested!!!!

Here are some pics from my hometown shindig.

The old Crew

They're real and they're spectacular!!

The Gals

1st Shot of the evening

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Let's face it we've all been frustrated in an Exam!!!

I just got this email the other day entitled "We've all been frustrated in Exams" and thought it was hilarious. Enjoy:











Sunday, March 04, 2007

The Secret

I watched this film today, it was interesting and I do believe in the content to an extent, however I found the "mind heals the body" aspect to be a bit of a long shot. The film uses the Law of Attraction (You get what you put your energy and focus on, whether wanted or unwanted. You are attracting the people, situations, jobs and such into your life) Basically our dominent thoughts will manifest.

It's an interesting concept, and I do believe in the power of the mind and our thoughts. My friends mother is a very spiritual woman. A few years ago she guided me in making a blueprint for my life. Absolutely anything that I wanted to have was put on the board......no wish was too grandiose. It is interesting now, years later to look at the board and see how many things have actually come into my life. A few things that were truly miracles and a few others that one could say I decided to do on my own and therefore were not necessarily the makings of a greater power. For example i had a picture of Africa on there as a place I wanted to visit and had the opportunity to go there last year. I suppose that could be seen as more of a goal that I was able to achieve rather than the power of my thoughts working in my favour. In any event I find this whole concept rather interesting and have decided to make a conscious decision to be more aware of my thoughts, and what i'm putting out there into the universe.

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you think our dominent thoughts become our reality? If so, do we then have the power to change our lives using visualizations and positive thinking?

Friday, March 02, 2007

WTF @#$*&^^



So i'm driving to work on the highway yesterday (in the fast lane of course cause i'm cool like that :P) when i look to my right and notice a man driving very slowly, with of all things a magazine propped up on his steering wheel. He was reading a freaking magazine while driving!!!! My mouth drops to the ground and i give him cut eye, all the while yapping on my cellphone ( I know i get it, i was no better than him) only I was making a 10 second call, he was probably on page 15. The photos are of course reinactments. It would be dangerous to take pictures of oneself whilst driving haha.

Jlee tagged people to do this i figured what the heck. Have a great weekend!! For any curious parties i shall be at the Elmo on Saturday evening for some pre birthday fun (The Eat Your Greens night)!! Come on down and buy me a drink :P

1. Where is your cell phone? You will find my phone in my purse or attached to my ear


2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? I have neither


3. Hair? Blonde and curly, sometimes straight


4. Your mother? She likes to talk .... A LOT


5. Your father? He's the more reasonable one

6. Your favorite item? My new cuddle heating blanket. It's a smaller version of the one made for a bed

7. Your dream last night? It involved this PO that i despise, only i liked him in my dream. Why is work creeping into my dreams dammit!!

8. Your favorite drink? Iced Tea or Water, so bizzare but i love water

9. Your dream guy/girl? He would be tall, genuine, intelligent, funny, great sense of humour, dashing to me and of course have a job.....a good one :)
10. The room you are in? Basement, it's chilly. Where's my new cuddle blanket? haha

11. Your fear? Aging, it truly scares me. I don't want kids, but then who will look after me....what about my health, dementia etc

12. What do you want to be in 10 years? Healthy, jeeze my answers are boring

13. Who did you hang out with last night? My sister, there was a snow storm I had no choice

14. What are you not? Warm right now :P

15. Are you in love? Nope, never have been and at this point am too cynical to even believe in it. I think love is a bunch of hoopla

16. One of your wish list items? To see more of the world, travel to remote places, Eradicate HIV/AIDS and poverty. Oh wait that's more than one, whatever it's my list :)

17. What time is it? 12:40pm

18. The last thing you did? I ran errands, the Bank, Shoppers, Mailed some letters

19. What are you wearing? Black pants and a blouse

20. Your favorite book? Hmmm, i like The Alchemist, Tuesdays with Morrie and The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, i'm working on the Kite Runner currently oh and the Wealthy Barber

21. The last thing you ate? An egg and a piece of toast

22. Your life? Is a work in progress

23. Your mood? Hopeful

24. Your friends? Are amazing!!

25. What are you thinking about right now? The drive into work bleh!!

26. Your car? My snowtires need hubcaps. I find it embarassing however my male friend said i should leave them as they are and be proud of my snow tires haha. My summer tires are the shit though :)
27. What are you doing at this moment? Leaving for work
28. Your summer? Oh man, am i ever looking forward to summer. It will be wonderful as per usual. I'm a summer type of gal.
29. Your relationship status? Single
30. What is on your TV screen? I'm not watching tv...shocking i know :P
31. When is the last time you laughed? At work yesterday, my coworkers are ridiculous but in a funny way, they make me howl
32. Last time you cried? Probably a few nights ago
33. School? I went