My best friend is a bit of a funny gal. She purchased snail cream (made with snail secretions) off of the internet a few years ago for a reason that I am not at liberty to discuss. There was also a diaper incident many moons ago for which I have been sworn to secrecy however, she agreed to let me talk about her latest purchase……eyebrow wigs!!!

You see BF was having a hard time shaping her eyebrows just so, they were too bushy, too arched then too thin until one day she decided she’d had enough and plucked each and every last one out. OUCH!!!

A new dilemma ensued…...she was now bald above her eyelids and needed a quick fix pronto. She researched and came across this site for the eyebrow challenged. They seriously sell eyebrow wigs….made with human hair!! BF purchased said wigs and gave them a go however she was allergic to the adhesive and was not able to wear them (thank god). I almost died laughing when she showed me her quick fix, oh my!!!

Since the odd purchase her eyebrow hair has grown back in (though it’s a bit on the sparse side) and she has started to use brow powder to make them just right!!

I had no idea that eyebrow wigs even existed……I wonder what other unique items are out there????

A few of the gals and myself went out again on Friday evening. LD spotted an interesting looking guy and said "There's your boyfriend" when all of a sudden it dawned on me.....it was the swiffer!!!! Oh the joy!! Finally we were able to see his dance moves in real life! Disappoint he did not as he kept to his regular routine of bending over and shaking his ass, I loved it!!

This guy was getting a lot of attention at the bar as he was sooooooo tall, 7 feet to be exact. Take that Big Ben!!

I kept trying to do the "wow look how tall he is" face but I just look silly instead ha!
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My cell died on Friday evening and I thought I had left my charger at work BAH!!! My friend has a phone similar to mine and we figured her charger would fit my phone. I went over in my super comfy clothes and sadly it did not work. I actually debated going to Bell World and buying a car charger after going home and changing of course ( I was looking mildly homeless).

I actually found the bloody thing in a bag a little while later but it got me thinking. What the fuck was I doing? Have I become so dependent on the thing that I can't live without it for 2 days? I didn't have any pressing phone calls to make or texts to send out but by god I needed my cell to work. Clearly I have an unhealthy attachment to my phone....anyone else have this problem??

I had much more sleep than I normally do last night however I woke up feeling groggy and awful. My eyes looked a bit puffy and red; I knew it was going to be a bad day. I dragged my ass to the grocery store early in the AM to grab some oatmeal as I didn't have any breaky at work. I meandered around aimlessly searching for the bloody oatmeal and finally asked a worker to point me in the right direction. It took her a while to answer...."ummmmm baking section" so I asked which aisle that would be "ummmm" she looked around "ummmm, ahh" finally she blurts out aisle five. I'm running late now, grab the box and head to the only check out open except as one can expect there is no cashier in sight. Eventually one saunters up and I feel my blood pressure rising. So not only am I tired, puffy eyed and cranky but now I'm a bit pissed.

I get to work and my pressure goes up and up as the day goes on. Our move has not been smooth and there are a million unanswered questions. We've been refused a meeting with management to discuss such issues and have been told to send correspondence via email. I have clients who are lost/wandering around/showing up at my door unexpectedly and it's been absolute chaos for the past two weeks.

Today was my breaking point....I sent off an email or two expressing my concerns/disgust I demanded someone show me how to use a machine (I've been asking for two weeks to be shown) I received a snotty email in return and it took all of my strength not to leave.

Truth be told I have a rather short fuse and the smallest of things can irk me. I do try to be relatively cordial under such circumstances.....but.....when I am beyond angry I can be a wicked wicked woman!

She came out today and it wasn't pretty. I have a feeling she may make another appearance tomorrow as well. I hope they have plenty of band aids to sop up their wounds cause I have a quick wit and a sharp sharp tongue that will pierce right through. My gloves are off.....

I ended up staying out on both Friday and Saturday nights until 4am .... oops!

Friday night I went to see Tony Bennett (not by choice) and had a good laugh. The average age in the audience was about 65 and my sister and I were smushed in between his biggest fans. The woman beside me sang along to every song, squealed with delight at Tonys moves and cried like a baby throughout the show. At the end of his performance the theatre staff wheeled out walker after walker after walker and wheelchair after wheelchair. My sister and I were laughing so hard. She commented that "it wasn't so bad" and this older woman shot her the dirtiest look.

I ended up going out with a friend for a few pints after the show then of course to the casino till the wee hours of the morning. I'm not a gambler but he is and wanted some company. I strolled in around 4:30am.

On Saturday evening I again found myself at the casino but not to gamble, it was a girls night out at the bar. We picked the perfect location as it was a huge sausage fest at the casino. The world poker tour was in full effect and there were men as far as the eye could see. I was surprised at how many of them came over to say hello to a table of 8 women. I figured our numbers would intimidate them but not so. There was this guy:

I forget why I asked this gentleman to pose like this but he was a good sport:

another one:

So needless to say we had a good time. Four of us decided to hit up a late night diner for some greasy treats to help soak up the booze. That jug of water sure came in handy!!

I was a little bit disappointed that we did not run into this guy!!! Apparently he is well known in the area for his interesting dance moves and has thus been dubbed the swiffer. The band even said "When is the swiffer coming?" Damn it!!! Ah well next time!



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Tomorrow on Oprah (Tues October 14th) will be a show about animals and how ones food gets from the farm to the table. Just in case anyone is interested in such a show, I know I am :)

I read an interesting article in the paper a few weeks back regarding an ever so popular social networking site and its advertisements. Apparently this site tries to post ads ( in the margins) based on the information in your profile. The woman who wrote the article stated she changed her information to include "engaged" and was then bombarded with ads about being a fat bride and losing weight before the big day. When her status changed to "married" she began to receive advertisements on fertility and pregnancy.

I took note oh yes I did, I wanted to know exactly what kind of a feel my profile was giving off.

Tanning at Fabutan

Criminal Mind Trivia/Survivor Trivia

Oprah Acai Berry Diet

And a plethora of singles ads

I started to pay better attention and apparently my profile is shouting: Too Pale, Into Deviants/Watches too much TV, Fat and well Single!! Flattering.....not at all.....but I do find the whole thing a bit funny.

What do the advertisements in your margins say??

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It's a long weekend for us up in Canada so to my fellow Canucks a very Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I asked my family if they would like to feast upon a Tofurkey this year.....the consensus was a big fat NO!!! Ah well, I tried :)

As well a reminder, do not forget to vote on the 14th!!!

The drive up to the cottage was rather creepy in the evening. We were surrounded by cornfields and dirt roads BAH!!! I'm always afraid deer are going to run out and die on my car.....good thing we only saw a cat by the road and a poor raccoon whose carcass lay chopped in half. I'm embarrassed to say that the deer thing is purely for selfish reasons, I hear that they can ruin a car with one hit.

The weekend was a very carefree one. LD and I discussed ourselves as being somewhat "man repellent" which was hilarious, I almost died laughing when she described it as such.

Toasted marshmallows were on the menu.....did I mention that I like mine black?? The marshmallows you dirty people....the marshmallows!!!

We played a few games to pass the time, mainly HorseBalls (which I really really suck at) and air hockey (which I really really rock at).

I've never used a chainsaw before and begged the guys to let me try. After far too many "are you kidding" "no way" kinda comments they gave in and let me give it a shot. I gotta say I lasted all of 30 seconds and didn't even cut through the log. I couldn't believe the vibrations; my fingertips went numb and I felt the chainsaw slowly slipping out of my grip to the ground. I thought it might land on my cute little toes so I gave up!

We of course sat by the fire and drank beer after beer well into the wee hours of the morning. That was on the first night, the second night I was in bed by 1 AM haha clearly I'm a lightweight.

The stars were absolutely spectacular on our first evening there. I can't recall a time that I've seen so many twinkling away all at once, it was just so beautiful. And the air.....that wonderful fresh air there is nothing like it!!

I had a really good time this weekend. I pigged out, laughed, played silly games and drank far too much all while surrounded by great friends....what could be better?

I was at the salon today and told my colourist I was bored.....I either needed a new colour or I was going to chop my hair off. We decided on darker highlights sans blonde which turned out lovely. I then told the woman who cuts my hair that I was thinking about going a bit shorter (music to her ears) "lets do it" she said. So we did.....years and years of growing my mane lay cut up on the floor. I've lost about 5 or 6 inches (when straight it was down close to my tatas) but it's cute and it will grow back.......in about 3 years *sniff*

Awww and thanks for all of the lovely comments on my previous post. I gave myself one day to feel like shit about it tears and all....not because of him...but because I felt like there was something wrong with me. I'm still a bit meh but I have the perfect cure. I'm heading up north for the weekend with some great friends. I plan to drink, sit by the fire, eat yummy BBQ'd veggies and pig out on roasted marshmallows. The men may have to plug their ears every now and again when I'm ranting but they'll get over it!! I also have some dodgy friends that gave me a little pick me up for the weekend so I plan to have a good laugh.

Well that about sums it up! I got....oh wait for it...yet another rejection. It shouldn't be surprising as this happens to me all of the time. By all of the time I mean about once a year. You see I generally meet someone that I am interested in about once a year. It may be because I'm picky or too ugly that no one wants to talk to me, I have no idea, but that is usually the time line. The date/meeting/talking or whatever is almost always followed by some type of rejection......"I've met someone else," "you live too far away," "I'm dating 3 other people right now and if you want to be #4 then you're in." I must say though that I am grateful for the rejection. I have yet to be strung along or phased out by anyone so I suppose that's a bonus. I guess I tend to pick thoughtful people who do not like me, at least I have good taste :)



Remember the lovely divorced man, yeah there was no date. We met at the wedding, he called the next day to ask me out and at the time dating was the last thing on my mind. I was on my way to a wake/funeral when I spoke to him and was out of town the following week. We texted, chatted in between and he told me he would give me a call last night. True to his word my phone rang and off we chatted. I thought he was calling to ask me out....he was actually calling to tell me he had met someone around the same time as me and didn't want to date two people. He was trying to be nice by making the call as we have a few mutual friends and he thought that was the best thing to do. Fair enough and kudos to him for being honest. But what the hell?? Why couldn't I have been the girl to get the chance? I felt like Meredith in Grey's Anatomy when McDreamy is trying to decide between her and another girl and she's standing there yelling "pick ME, love ME."


Well, they never seem to pick me so I shouldn't be surprised. It felt good at least to be hopeful for a few weeks. I really truly have no idea what it is about me that is so horrible, clearly there is something but I have yet to figure it out. My self esteem has been peeled away layer by layer each year. There is a very tiny thin part still in tact and I'd like to keep it that way so I will definitely be keeping to myself for the next little while.

Rawbean was in town for a work related trade show/conference and we thought it would be fun to get together for dinner with a few other bloggers that neither of us had met.

I picked Rawbean up from her hotel and surprisingly we were making pretty good time until we hit the streets on foot. We emerged from the parking garage to absolute chaos. Apparently the subway had been shut down and there were mobs of people everywhere we looked, helicopters in the sky and of course cops in fancy pants directing traffic.

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We walked towards where I thought the restaurant was and then....we kept walking....and kept walking. I called Big Ben on his cell and voila, we were only about 15 minutes late. Leave it to me to pick the restaurant and then not be able to find it. There was a reason I got a GPS as a birthday gift this year!!

Big Ben and WIGSF were sitting at a table near the door (thanks guys) and Scott showed up a wee bit later. The five of us ate dinner, had some drinks and of course took a photo or two.

The idea of meeting up with a bunch of strangers seemed a bit daunting at first however, I had previously met both Scott and Rawbean so I felt much less anxious than I probably would have had I gone into this completely blind. Also, the bizarre thing about blogging is that you feel like you actually know these people.....so are they really strangers?

I had a great time as I always enjoy meeting new people and having a good laugh. I think that my blog is a pretty good representation of who I am in real life and I can say the same for the folks that I met.

Jennifer emailed me this article from the Star. It made me laugh so hard, enjoy!!

Man charged with battery after passing gas

Sep 24, 2008 11:05 PM

ASSOCIATED PRESS

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va.–A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.
As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.
Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.
"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.
He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.
"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.
Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."

I had the most glorious day this weekend. The weather was a perfect 24 degrees. I spent the morning shopping for some new clothes and the afternoon lazing about by the pool taking advantage of the lovely sunshine. 

In the evening a friend and I went to an Indian buffet restaurant and being the little piglets that we are, went down to the beach to enjoy some yummy ice cream afterwards.  We walked along the water and decided to put our feet in just to test the temperature. Of course it was freezing but in a strange way it felt really good. 

We picked up some rocks and tried to toss them in like the olden days. I remember as a child being able to skip a rock like no ones business however, there must be a technique to the art that I have lost over the years as I could not skip a stone to save my life. Plunk Plunk Plunk they all plopped into the water as if a weight had been tied to the bottom of each one. Ah well, there's always next year!!

I was at a wedding recently and had a lovely chat with this one guy. He loved to dance, was funny and had a great sense of humour.  Anyway so we were talking and he non- chalantly added that he has been divorced and has a child. BAH! 

I suppose at my ripe old age of 30 this should be expected. I mean people have lived, they have baggage and experience amongst other things. I personally have never even thought about marriage nor am I interested in having children. So therein my dilemma lies......should I stop being such an asshole and just go out with him for a drink? We are both going to the same event next week so I will see him either way. We have spoken on the phone and he did express an interest in going out again before the event however with everything going on lately I could not swing it. I'd imagine I will make up my mind after I see him again next week.  I was three sheets to the wind at the wedding and will be stone cold sober at this up coming event as I am driving, so what I thought was a great sense of humour might actually turn out to be dull. We shall see. 

Sorry folks I've been MIA for a while now. There was an unexpected death and a million things going on so needless to say I wasn't thinking....oh my blog....it needs to be updated!! 

I will get back to it sometime this week and let you hear the wonderful tales of my pool sitting. I folks, am the last person that should be kept in charge of a pool as bugs, dead mice and  bloated worms are not my forte. I actually had tears in my eyes this morning while cleaning out one of the filters. I'm not sure if it was because I felt sorry for the critter who met it's death in that basket or if I just didn't want to touch it Ha!!

I’m not a huge caffeine drinker, you know those people that “need” their morning coffee, I am not one of them. Every now and again I enjoy a nice tea in the morning or something a little fancier like a caramel macchiato but it’s not because I need one, it’s because I want one.

I’m astounded that some people go two, three times a day to coffee shops to get their fix. I used to work for a man and woman who would make upwards of 4 pots a day and drink every last drop. I suppose it’s an addiction but man that’s a lot of coffee.

I currently have 4 unused Tim Horton’s cups on my desk at work which have been accumulating for a good 5 months. You see every time someone from my office walks over to TH, the staff there puts an extra cup under the hot cup to prevent burning. This makes sense except…..they put the cups in a tray so there is absolutely no need for the 2nd cup. This irks me….so I have been saving the extra cups. When I return one day for a tea I will have them use the extra cups and will most likely lecture them for being wasteful. Granted I’m not being the most environmentally friendly….I am using a throw away cup after all. Clearly it’s time for me to dust off the travel mug if I’m going to get on my high horse and boss people around ☺

Though I’m not sure how much that will help……

I do know someone that took her travel mug to a coffee shop and guess what the staff did…..they filled up a large coffee cup to get the correct amount, poured the coffee into her travel mug and then threw the large cup out BAH!!!

Does anyone have any similar pet peeves??

I have this bizarre fear of lightning as most of you know. Go ahead laugh….get it all out but it really does affect my life. I will not go outside when there is lightning and will wait until it has finished before venturing out; if I am unlucky enough to be caught driving in a storm I do my best to stay on the road though I have been guilty of ducking when it strikes. I have an eye mask and ear plugs ready for wear if the sky decides to flash all evening during sleepy time and have found myself wearing both much more often than normal.

You see the stats just came out and from June 1 to August 28th we have had a total of 77 hours of storms…..23 hours is normal and last year we had just 8. We’ve also had 27 days with thunderstorms and last year again, there were 8. What the hell???? That’s almost an entire month of lightning.

I thought I would get over my fear a few years ago when I was caught camping on a beach in the most spectacular (ie scary) storm ever. We all crammed into the car and sat there for hours as the sky lit up, waiting for it to end. There was nothing I could do and I had to deal with it. I thought maybe, just maybe after that experience my silly fear would be gone, alas it is not. Cognitive behavioral therapy anyone haha!!!

Does anybody else have an irrational fear??