So in my last post I asked for funny stories and Christielli mentioned a silly thing that she did while shopping in Winners that made me laugh:

Okay, here's a random funny story. Once I was in Winners w some friends and I saw a nice pair of shoes on the ground and I'm like "Wow! These are awesome" and I took off my shoes and tried them on. Little did I realize that there was some lady beside me trying on shoes and she was like "ummm, those are *my* shoes."

It reminded me of the time (probably 15 years ago) that I was standing in Mc Donalds after ordering and waiting for my food. The cashier put a tray on the counter with some fries and a pop on it (soda for the Americans). I start to eat a few fries when she places a Big Mac on the tray. Hmmm I didn't order a Big Mac.....then I see an arm reach in and a voice say "excuse me". Yeah I was totally eating off of this guys tray and to make matters worse it was an older guy from my high school. He didn't seem to care but I was mortified.

Last year (why is it always with food??) I was at a hotel and they had one of those continental breakfasts with muffins, coffee and tea. Anyway I see a plate with a few bagels on it and I'm rather dismayed as the bagels have raisins in them and I really don't like raisins but I'm hungry and figure I'll just have to suck it up, pick them out and eat the bloody thing. So I take a bagel off the plate when again a hand reaches in.....dammit I did it again!! Some guy had left his plate lying around while he went to get some coffee and for whatever reason I assumed it was the bagel plate. He laughed and didn't seem to mind however I was pissed as I was stuck with this nasty bagel when there was a large quantity of non raisin bagels at my fingertips. I couldn't possibly put it back or worse yet place it back on his plate though I really really wanted to. Can you imagine "here you go sir, you can have it back now I didn't want this one anyway. "

Photo is from http://www.worldofstock.com/

I'm dying for something funny to happen....anything!!! You know when you laugh so hard you cry, snort and gasp to catch your breath. It's been a while and I'm patiently waiting for something amusing to fall upon me.....come on now....anytime....I'm waiting......

I left my car in a parking lot on the weekend after having a few too many beverages. I picked it up in the morning, ran some errands and after about 5 hours noticed something taped to the back of my car. It was this huge sign regarding a Parks and Recreation meeting, clearly someone at the bar thought it would be funny to tape it to my trunk.....and it was....I had a good giggle over how silly I must have looked all day and imagined the people behind me squinting to read this big announcement and wondering why it was placed there (squinting to read a big announcement.....is that a bit of an oxymoron??). It was funny but not the kind of funny where I cry I'm laughing so hard though I suppose it's a start.

Perhaps something hilarious will happen this weekend though I am planning to keep a low profile and stay in. Granted, I also planned for that last weekend and ended up at a BBQ, a surprise party and then at a friends house sans car (among other things) due to my consumption of Keiths where it got a little messy.......damn you Keiths!!!

Funny stories anyone....anyone???

We visited a lot of art galleries while we were on vacation and I wanted to share some of my new favorite artists with you. I'm a Van Gogh girl, I just adore him however I do believe that Fabian Perez is also in the running as his pictures are extremely sexy and sultry; lots of dancing tango style, cigarettes, drinking, passion......he's amazing.

Vladimir Rush also caught my eye but in a completely different way. He reminds me a lot of Dali:

I thought this photo "All Lit Up" by Todd White was super cute ( I got it from http://www.iankenny.com/) :

Peter Lik is also amazing as is his presentation. He takes beautiful photographs and then mounts them onto back lit frames......I couldn't find any on the net that would do him justice as you really have to see them in person to get the full affect. Below is a small photo of one of his galleries.

Last but not least Eugeny Lushpin. Again I could not find any of the paintings I really enjoyed by him on the net but this one will give you a taste of his style. I haven't a clue how he makes the light look so real it's amazing. ( from http://www.sensorium.no/)

I'm curious, who are your favorite artists???

Another fun filled week in Vegas though I must say the vacations are much tamer as the years fall upon me. We spent an extended period rather than the usual 4 days which I didn’t mind at all. The weather was 95 to 102 degrees and hot as hell. We did a lot of shopping and by shopping I mean browsing around……sadly I only purchased a few items and nothing really noteworthy. Three of us went to see O ( the Cirque Show that has been on my list for years) which of course did not disappoint, LD and I hit up Peepshow a few days later which was a rather sexy burlesque type of show featuring Mel B and Kelly Monaco.

The rest of the peeps arrived a few days later however at some point on the vacation almost every single one of us fell ill. Be it from the sun or food who knows but sadly it was not from beer consumption. We did spend one rather rowdy afternoon at Diablo’s Cantina where a spin of the wheel provided $3 treats a la margaritas and shots of tequila. We were in bed by 8pm that evening!!

After hour number 3 at the Cantina I could not keep track of which drink was on special. I'd order a Margarita only to find out it was now Coors light....meh give me both!!!

We stayed at the end of the strip which was not ideal as it was a 25 min walk to anything relatively worthwhile and I would stay more central next time as in the past. We did however stumble upon Cold Stone Creamery which I recognized from an episode of Oprah. It was quite possibly the best ice cream I have ever tasted, I tried “All the lovin with no oven” which consisted of chocolate cake batter ice cream, cookie dough bits, fudge and whipped cream all mushed together Yummmmm!!!

Oh yes and I forgot to mention the deep fried twinkies and oreo cookies that we found on Freemont Street.....seriously!!! LOVED the oreos!!!

LD and I of course made it our mission to stay up well into sunrise as per years past. Sadly we did not do as good.....a few years ago we left the bar at 9:30am.....this year it was 5am but the sun was starting to peak out nonetheless.

We arrived home to freaking 49 degree weather (today it’s 66) and I do believe my office is colder inside than it is outside….I have my space heater on! I could have stayed for longer just to enjoy the sun and relax as it wasn’t a typical kick your ass Vegas style trip it was much more laid back this go around. There’s always next year…..

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PS:

This guy cracked me up with his white socks and sandles....not to mention the drumstick hanging out of his back pocket WTF??? He was trashed and enjoyed dancing with his lady friend:

I also loved this truck decal filthy just filthy ;)

I just bought the cutest wedges ever!! I was actually out looking for a cheap black pair to replace my old ones however these caught my eye and of course I just had to have them. They're a lot shiner (more shiney?) than these photos show and super cute in person. Come to think of it these photos suck, you'll just have to take my word for it they're cute dammit!

Please excuse the naked toenails I'm getting my pedicure this weekend and wanted them free from polish until then.

I've had my eye on a few pairs of Fluevogs lately however they are soooo pricey and I'm not sure I would actually wear them enough to justify the cost. Most friends that I've shown have told me they are oooooogly but I dig them:

Whaddya think?? I find that men hate the Fluevogs that I own and women love them. They aren't conventionally sexy by any means; odd chunky heels, bizzare colours but they're fun and that's what matters!

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I haven't a clue why or how this turned into a shoe post. I had actually planned to talk about my poor listening skills. I had a client call the other day and at the end of our conversation he said "Sorry I missed our appointment" and I answered with "You're welcome" and hung up. I assumed he was going to say "Thanks" and blurted out my response without even listening to what he said. Oops! Do y'all every do that?? (I like to say Y'all sometimes, I think it's funny much to the dismay of others).

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Anyway cats I'm outta here after this weekend to enjoy the 95 degree weather and sip 99 cent margaritas because "It's 5 o'clock somewhere" God bless Vegas! See you in a week.
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PS If you're wondering why I have to put these ridiculous lines inbetween my paragraphs it's because Blogger isn't following my directions and is lumping everything into one big ass paragraph grrrr! WTF blogger, what the fuck??

It's been a rather busy week and of course will continue to be so this coming week as well. There are so many things that I need to get done but not enough hours in the day it seems. Granted I spent an entire day in bed nursing my hangover so really it's my own fault. I suppose that's what happens when you don't drink for over a month. I was all gung ho about my eating/drinking habits a few weeks ago and seems that I haven't been out whooping it up as per usual. I decided to have a night out......and paid for it dearly the next day.



Anyway, enough about that. I bought these beautiful bowls recently at this cute Japanese store. I just adore them!!

I was also given a rather large piece of chocolate by PP and when I say large I do mean large. It's from an enormous toblerone bar and apparently one triangle has approximately 2000 calories, yikes! Here it is beside one of my fruit cups to show the size.

I'm going away next week and I've been running around buying new clothes and trying to get myself relatively ready which seems to be taking forever. I'd rather have some idea of what I'm bringing rather than leaving it till the last minute as per usual. But alas I am sure that is exactly what is going to be happening.

I've been in good spirits as of late, I'm excited to be going away, the weather around here is warming up and I finally got my hair cut and highlighted. I had left it longer than I ever had before and it was starting to embarass me. I have a massage lined up this week, 1st pedicure of the year.....things are good!!

Rawbean brought up the possibility of the lotion lady bathing in the 7 bottles of hand cream which brought an old question to mind. If you could swim in any liquid at all.....what would you choose?? I may have asked this in the past forgive me as I forget but do indulge me regardless.

I'd like my answer to be beer, ketchup or tamarind sauce. In actuality I would probably choose something more along the lines of chocolate milk or melted milk chocolate. That would be delightful!!! I'm drooling just thinking about it!

I've been taking note of what people are purchasing at stores lately and I find the amount of items rather perplexing. For instance the woman in front of me at Shoppers (Drugstore) bought 7 bottles of Jergens hand lotion with the pump......it takes me close to 3 months to use one of those suckers sometimes longer. What the hell does she need 7 for? Such things do have an expiry date after all. Next my brow stared to furrow at Sobeys (grocery store) as I watched the woman in front of me place 20 yes 20 cans of Arizona Iced Tea on the conveyor belt. I'm sure she saw me judging her as my eyes expanded while counting the enormous cans. Those things are close to 700 ml each.


I'm not even going to mention the people I see with packages upon packages of TV dinners loading up their carts. Hungry Man seriously.....last time I checked the nutritional contents of a dinner it had well over 40 grams of fat and close to 900 calories. If that is all you're going to eat at least pretend that it's not and buy one or two at a time every day. Maybe throw in an orange for good measure. For the love of god don't fill up your entire cart with such "meals."



Okay now I'm getting off topic and rambling on about nutrition which nobody wants to be lectured on. Come to think of it, perhaps the Jergens lady had a store and was selling the lotion herself or perhaps the Arizona lady was having a party and needed mix. Who knows, but either way I was staring and surely making faces at their purchases cause to me Judgey Mc Judgey they seemed excessive.

A picture post for the ladies (and some of the men) this fine Friday! I'm too lazy to write a post and I hear it's supposed to be summer like weather out there this weekend. I wouldn't mind breaking a sweat with a few of these hotties. Enjoy!!




Yummy Lenny!!


The very manly Jason Statham!

Finesse Mitchell who I just saw by fluke on a talk show recently. Audience members were asking the panel questions about relationships and such. Dilema for an audience member: his girlfriend wanted them to play dress up, he the dog trainer and she the dog however the guy thought it was weird. Finesse jumped out of his chair, stomped his feet, clapped his hands and was like "What's wrong with that? Mmmmm!" It was hilarious!





I don't care if his voice sounds like a 12 year old girl sucking helium, he's hot as hell!


Don't ask me how trainer Bob got into the mix, there's just something about him. Love the tat's though I must say he's always been a question mark in my mind.......and then he wore shorts with sparkles which made me lean way over to that side. Anyone....anyone???

I just saw this guy on TMZ (shush) and really have no idea who he is (Alex Rodriguez?) but he's got it all! Chiseled face check! Muscular body check! Dark hair check!

It's apparent that I enjoy muscular, inked, ruged men! I don't particularily enjoy beards though a few days of stubble never hurt anyone. Don't worry though, I also have a strange appreciation for David Spade and Conan O'Brien. It's not all about the six pack, I like my men to be funny as well! Any favorites not on my very short list?

Well I did it, I wore a new pair of shoes around the mall for 3 hours. It actually would have only been about 2 hours or so however I lost my bloody sunglasses and had to retrace every step that I made. Unfortunately they have yet to turn up. I wouldn't care so much except that they are prescription glasses which ticks me off. I'll have to call in a few days to see if they have been turned in. So not only am I pissed about that but now I have sore blistery feet to boot and it's raining. I'm not a happy camper.

I watched The Reader this weekend which was okay but not spectacular. I didn't realize the 1st half of the movie would be about Kate's nipples and found myself a tad bored in the earlier part of the movie. We get it, they're having sex......get on with the movie. This is probably why I have a long long list of movies that I would like to see however I never actually get around to watching. I already sat through Open Water and The Beach which killed 4 hours of my life. I'd rather do something I enjoy then sit and watch something that I might not.

I definitely ( I always try and spell it definately grrrr Websters should change the spelling to appease me) regret wasting time on shitty movies however I never turn them off which makes no sense. It's not like they're going to get any better. Are there any movies that you've wasted time on?? Do let me know so I can stear clear.

Well today is bright and sunny which are two things that have been lacking around here for quite some time. It's actually 10 degrees (50 F) and tomorrow is supposed to be a whopping 17 degrees (62 F) yay!!!

My hair is starting to actually feel longer which I'm loving as I clearly make poor decisions every time that it grows long. I get bored and chop it off and then spend the following year complaining about how much I hate it. I suppose it would be different if I was donating my hair to Locks of Love or something but I'm far too vain (and clearly selfish) to keep it free from highlights for a long period of time.

I've had shoes in my closet for oh about 2 years that have never seen the light of day. I buy like a fiend however can't stand breaking them in as I hate blisters and sore feet. I mean who loves either of those things.....hmmmm no one, though I do have a lovely friend that has broken in a few pairs for me in the past. Perhaps I can persuade her to help out again, that would be lovely!!

Anyway I'm blabbering on about nothing really so get outside this weekend and enjoy the beautiful weather. For those of you already in hot locales I'm envious but hopefully not for too much longer cause it's starting to get hot here!!!

I'm not sure if anyone else out there has a yahoo email account (it's so 1999) but I do, in fact I have several email accounts with different providers for various reasons. There's the one I use as more of a junk account if I have to give an email address for a lame contest or to sign up for something. I have another one that I've been using for many many years to keep in touch with friends. I also signed up a few years ago for a 3rd account with yet another provider just for the hell of it.

There's a point to all of this I swear....or a question at least. A few weeks ago I signed in to my yahoo account and received a message about so and so wanting to add me to their yahoo chat....huh??? Now the 1st two people to "add" me were friends of mine so that was fine (although I'm less than interested in using this chat option so I declined) however every day since then I get these bizarre people wanting me to add them to my chat list. I'm finding these messages rather annoying because A) I'm not interested in chatting with my friends on this let alone perfect strangers and B) the messages pop up every single time I log in.

I already have MSN and google chat to name a few, I don't need a 3rd place to talk to people. How the fuck did blandervonhorowitz get my email address anyway?? Is this happening to anyone else ( or do you have sophisticated accounts that wouldn't allow such filth)? Can I turn this chat option off?? It just POOF popped up one day and the messages began completely out of my control and they are driving me bonkers. It's creepy enough that people know when I'm checking certain accounts.....now this one too....grrrrr.

I'm waaaayyyy too lazy to write anything worthwhile (do I ever?) today as I'm free, free, free from work for 4 days. Seriously around 4:30pm I was sitting at my desk when all of a sudden I felt this wonderful sense of elation knowing that I only had but 30 minutes left of work. I'm usually rushing around like mad before I take a few days off finishing up last minute case notes, worrying about who I have to call and if I have completed everything. Not today.....today I looked at the clock, took a deep breath and smiled like a motherfucker. I'm free for 4 days......and the bonus, I only work 2 days next week!!!

To those that must work this weekend my apologies, to those that don't, enjoy your time off. I'm going to try really really hard not to stuff my face with too much chocolate, perhaps just a taste!!!

Egad!!! I've been stuffing my face with fry wagon poutine (fries, gravy and cheese curds) for the past few weekends so it's not surprising that I gained close to 5 pounds, Yikes!! I also took a small hiatus (3 weeks) from the gym due to my wonky knee and clearly it's catching up to me. I'm going on vacation in one month to a location that is going to be rather hot and therefore I need to get my shit together ASAP. My goal (don't snicker) is to wake up at 6:30am a few times a week to do the P90X DVD's, go to work and then hit the gym afterwards. If nothing else I hope to lose the 5 that I've gained plus another 5 if not more. I'm dedicating the next month to eating healthy and working out as I really have no other choice. My only problem is going to be waking up and working out at 6:30am as I am NOT a morning person at all, I loathe mornings. Clearly my punishment for being a slacker.

On another note, the jury came back with a verdict for the 2nd case I mentioned in my last post.....everything turned out as I had hoped so I am very relieved. No word yet on the 1st case.

I spent the weekend putting together plans for a possible trip next year to Southeast Asia. It's a big one and will require lots of planning but I am very excited about the whole prospect. Fingers crossed that it becomes a reality!! Can you believe that it fucking snowed in the little town I was in, so much so that it stayed on the ground and someone made a snowman. Crazy weather for April!

My volleyball team has won the past few games that we've played which has definitely boosted our morale. I am very much looking forward to the coming weekend as it's Easter which means two extra days off of work, woo hoo!!! I'm feeling really good even with the damn weight gain :)

Readers have commented that I need a more uplifting post...apparently I've been more like Eore lately rather than one of those annoying happy go lucky people. Perhaps my personality needs a little bit of tweaking as I'm prone to be on the more melancholy side of things rather than the glass half full type.

I was walking down the hall at work today thinking the exact same thing. I am a little ball of anger sometimes though I'm not sure why, convinced that I will surely have a heart attack at 40 due to my non existing wick. You know how it takes a lot for some people to get angry or annoyed...not this chica...I have three speeds, happy, sad or angry. My wick doesn't seem to gradually lose patience....I go from happy to angry in seconds.

Completely off topic there are two murder trials that recently wrapped up, juries are out deliberating and I am on pins and needles waiting to hear the results. One because if found guilty he will be the first person in Canada if not all of the world to face this particular conviction. The other I have a more personal interest in and while the defence did an amazing job, I'm really really hoping the jury finds the defendant guilty of 1st degree murder(though some say it may go the manslaughter way). Waiting is painful......

This isn't turning out to be a very uplifting post....disregard!!


I went to see Gerry Dee recently and laughed so hard I cried. He's this hilarious Canadian (woot woot) comedian who was on Last Comic Standing a few years back. Enjoy the above clip for a Wednesday giggle.....he cracks me up!