Pride Parade

So Jennifer, Dawn and myself went to the Gay Pride Parade in Toronto this past weekend. I really enjoy it as i find that almost everyone is rather happy and in party mode so it's always good times. Well i suppose everyone except for the one lone redneck protestor. You can check out Jennifer's blog for a photo.

Other than that Dawn and I attended the NIN concert and as per usual we were sitting beside strange people. The two guys beside me were special. One had long long hair in a ponytail and his friend had a mustache. Mustache man insisted on playing air guitar and smashing the back of the seat infront of him to make noise repeatedly. As well, he would do this semi head bang thing but it looked as though he had just gone swimming and was trying to get the water out of his ear. He also had this habit of tapping Dawn or I and giving us the thumbs up and asking if everything was good. Weirdo.

After the concert we went to Jennifer's bf Cottilian party and drank our faces off. We also had the pleasure of watching her neighbour pleasure hehe himself. The blinds were mostly closed, but we got a view of the whole hard enchilada and the hand that was stroking it. Mind you this is the same neighbour that we witnessed having sex with the blinds open and the lights on at her bf's last party. I can't decide if it's he who is the pervert for leaving the blinds open or us because we watch.

No Tailgating LOL

So i'm driving to work through the city today and there is a man infront of me in a small station wagon. We're at a light and all of a sudden his body is hanging out his window and he's yelling something to me. I hang my head out my window and say "pardon", he continues to yell something at me and i can't hear a word he's saying. So i'm like "i can't hear you".....he leans out further, his whole torso is out of the car and he tells me that i'm "following way too close, stop tailgating me!!" He's rather polite about the whole thing while yelling the entire time. I find it all rather amusing as i'm shocked and have no idea what he's talking about, so I smirk, stick my head back in the car and roll my window up.

Big Ben's bad driving must be rubbing off on me LOL.

On a lighter note, great weekend ahead NIN concert, Aaron's Cotillian and Pride festivities. Can't wait!!!

Bridezilla

Woo Hoo it's over. So i wore a strapless tight top with boning infront of 300 some odd people and lived. It really wasn't that bad, and Melissa decided to take a few pics of my back, just to show me that "really it wasn't that bad" as i gave her the evil eye in the Church. So the Bride was 45 mins late for the ceremony, no real reason other than we were late getting our hair finished and the make up lady had too many of us to do in that length of time. I however did get asked countless times "what happened, why were you guys so late?" I guess some people thought she was debating about the ceremony, nope, we were just being typical girls.

It was hot as hell on Saturday, 34 degrees or so. I would know, the one limo broke down and somehow i ended up waiting with the men for the new car to arrive. We barely had enough time to complete the pictures and off we went to the reception. I had a great time, lots to drink, lots of dancing, good friends around it was fun. Not so sure the bride had as much fun however. Here's a small list of things that pissed her off.

1)The limo breaking down.

2)As soon as she walked into the hall she started bitching about the flower arrangements and how she did not pay all that money for this shit. (We continued to hear about the horrible flowers all evening)

3)A fire alarm somehow went off and we were all asked to leave the building. I thought it was hilarious and unique and there was really not much you can do about such a thing, excpet to take photos with the hot firemen. The bride cried and declared "can anything else go wrong?"

4)Oh yes it can. Her cake was apparently nothing like the one she had ordered. Then, in the middle of the evening the cake cracked in half and started to melt into a big pile. I didn't see it but was told they had people with towels trying to steady it and hold it up while they wheeled it out. I told the bride, people were just going to eat it anyway, and she had already cut it.

5)During the speeches she did not speak. People chanted her name as they wanted her to say something. She stood behind us, crying and yelled that now she looked like an asshole, told her new husband she was going to fucking kill him or something along those lines as she thought it was his fault and then proceeded to take the mic and say a quick thank you.

I really can't wait to see the video of this wonderful evening. All the smiles and love that goes along with such a special day LOL.

Blah blah blah

Unfortunately i have nothing interesting to post at this moment. It's been very busy trying to get ready for this wedding that i am in on Saturday. I've been on this insane quest for Spanx and i'm sure Jennifer was ready to kill me these past few days with my million emails regarding the Spanx and where i could get them, as they do not seem to exist in the city i live in. I even asked her to go and buy me a pair and i was willing to drive the hour to go and get them from her. She agreed, cause she's wonderful, however at the last minute i found one bloody store that not only carried them, but would let me try them on with my dress before i purchased them. (Spanx by the way are this wonderful creation built to suck in and smooth your body fat)

So most of my week has been spent at work calling stores and inquiring about their non selection of Spanx, leaving work early to go to a hair appointment and the wedding rehearsal and to get a maincure and pedicure, all the girly shit. I realized on Tuesday that i had not been tanning yet..i always forget. So i went Tuesday and Wednesday and so now of course i am burnt on my back and chest. Not sure if i should risk it tomorrow and look like a tomato on Saturday. I suppose the redness may take away from my back fat protruding and spilling over my top :P

Oh and on a wonderful, yay for me note, i got the job!!!! I now finally at 28 years of age have a full time permanent position that i love, WOO HOO!!! Now comes the decision making about moving as i hate the commute, it's far too long for me, I'm not a fan of leaving at 7:30am to get to work. However my co-worker just went looking for apartments and she had quite the stories. One landlord met her and her parents with his shirt wide open, big belly hanging out, smoking a ciggy, and told them stories of how he used to beat up the tenants and how it would be great to have a female around as the building is only full of men. She also saw an apartment with many many cats which quel surprise reeked of cat piss amoung other things and had piles of shit in the corner. Wish me luck LOL

Awkward Men

Why is it that when a bunch of us go out.....never seems to fail there is someone lurking around us, generally an unattractive/old yucky man with a number of horrible qualities that i shall not care to list at this time as there are too many to choose from. Let me just describe the 3 from this past week.

1) I am out with a male and a female friend chatting, having a drink when all of a sudden i hear a whisper in my ear. "you are the most beautiful person in this whole bar." Ohhhh i hear an Irish accent, can't be that bad right. He offered to buy me a drink, i declined, thanked him for the compliment and went outside with my friends. Well, Mr. Ireland followed us out, proceeded to tell me all evening how beautiful and lovely i was, told us how he owned cottages in Spain and of course went to school and was friends with Colin Farrell (yeah right). He bought us all drinks, dropped them all over himself and bought us more. He was alright to chat with but I was not interested like that. He bought me a rose, tried to kiss me at our next location all the while i was barely talking to him and told him to get his face away from mine. My other female friend was polite, talked to him and by the end of the evening he was telling her that God brought him to me to meet her LOL. Our male friend just smirked and told him we were both single.

2) There was a group of us out on Thursday evening for a few bevies. This random guy comes up and starts belting out "Sweet Caroline" to us. Oh no, we thought. Inside our suitor was then on the dance floor, oh what a sight. He was so awkward and did this strange jerking shoulder movement, one of us would turn around and there he would be smiling away, and there we would go to the other side of the dance floor. We also saw the same gentleman on Saturday night. My one friend engaged him in conversation so i could take a picture of him, he told her he loved Karaoke and guess what his favorite song was "Sweet Caroline" He was alone at the bar and i imagine he will remain alone at bars for a very long time to come.

3) I did not have the pleasure of chatting with this particular gentleman although he was passed among three of my friends. One would go up to try and save the other and the 1st person would leave the 2nd chatting with him. He apparently worked for Shania Twain, did not want his picture taken because "people know me" and his sister was married to someone in Alice Coopers band....rock on!! He had glasses, this terrible bushy bushy beard and his shirt was unbuttoned. Melissa told him to do it up cause his nipples were showing and he proceeded to push out his chest and show us all his nipples...i think he rubbed them as well. He looked like a 60 year old roadie and said he was single and looking for love.....

Oops!

So i think i may have made a terrible mistake. I decided to give up my cushy underground parking at work as the building was going to charge an obscene amount of money starting June 1. I only work in that building 4 days a week, so i figured i could use the exercise and try to fight the other 2000 people that work in my area for the 15 free parking spots outside of a homeless shelter on the street. I had my 1st experience the other day, i pulled onto the street noticed a few open spots and thought how wonderful. Then i noticed the 10 cop cars, police tape and CSI type of RV blocking off the remainder of the street. I got out, started to walk to work and asked a man sitting in the grass if someone had passed away. He told me someone had been stabbed to death the evening before. I told him to make sure and take care of himself and went along to work.

I've only parked on this street a few times this week, but it's so sad when i park and when i return. There are all these homeless people milling around, lying on blankets in the grass hanging out like lost souls. Some surely have mental health issues and drug addictions. I watched the news that evening at my friends house to see if they had a name for the deceased, in case he was one of my clients. She told me it was just a vagrant person anyway....i disagreed, he was a human being, someones son, perhaps a father or a brother. He was a person like you or I.

Videos

I have these hilarious videos from the wedding reception, however i won't post them without permission from my friends in the videos. With that being said, i did take a few small snippets of Vegas. Check these out, they are quite short.

This is the Fremont Street light show:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fyvb_7eESEY

This is a bar called Tao which was in the Venitian. This clip does not do the place justice. It was this Asian themed bar with Buddhas lining the bar, candles, very cool decor and a great atmosphere. They had various rooms that all played different music. The only clip that turned out was this one, taken in the big dance club part
of the bar:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDynWNQt4kU

This was one of the rides ontop of the Stratosphere that i wanted to go on...that is until i actually saw it dangling over the side of the hotel...no thanks!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMEPJBvvclY

This was our favorite corner with the convienience of a liquor store. I couldn't help but take a snippet of this gentleman yelling into his cellphone...this went on for like 10 minutes;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsvlE_5FPUw

Internet Dating

So our friends who got married in Vegas met on Lava Life. Another friend just admitted that she was inspired by them and made a profile as well, a fake one mind you, just so she could check the goods out, but she made one nonetheless. I have another few friends who have placed profiles on Plenty of Fish, apparently they are cheapolas as that site is free. They have also been peer pressuring me into joining that site but thus far i have refrained. The remainder of my friends are either living in sin with their partners or are happily married and trying to have babies...eek!!

I'm not sure what my problem is but i still feel like there is this huge stigma attached to such sites and i would rather die than have my dating profile for all to see. To me it shouts "LOOK AT THE LOSER" and can you imagine who might see it.....my family, people from highschool, co-workers, oh i would die. I suppose i could post one without a photo, but then i'm sure everyone would think that i'm a hideous monster. That's what i think of people without photos, that they must be rather unattractive, you know have goiters hanging off of their necks or big boils all over their face with hair protruding from said boils.

Anyway, i want to know what you ladies and gents think about this whole internet dating stuff. Has anyone tried it? Any horror stories?

My other options of meeting Prince Charming are pretty much slim to none. I've gone to bars for years and have not found too many exciting people in them, i've met most of my friends friends and i am not a great flirter at all. Jennifer is the queen of flirting and is always yelling at me when she thinks i've missed an opportunity to chat some fellas up. Once in her elevator of her very gay building a group of guys were making conversation with us. We got off onto her floor and she starts yelling at me as to why i didn't talk to them more because finding a straight man in her building was like finding a needle in a haystack. I honestly didn't think of it. I've joined volleyball teams, I volunteer, i'm out there.....but nothing :(

Welcome to Hammy

Alright so i decided to give Suki a rest and give Hammy a try....BOO to the name i know, i know. I'm not very creative with pet names, my real bunny at home is actually named bunny.....

So i was watching American Idol tonight and what a treat and wonderful surprise, Prince took the stage and sang a song. I have been in love with Prince for years and years. Way back when, a few friends and I went to one of his concerts. I've always enjoyed his music, but man could he move when we saw him live. I fought with my friends for the binoculars (nose bleed seats) and ever since that moment have found him strangely attractive and quite sexy. I know he's small and short and terribly skinny .... not really a man's man, but there is something about him that makes me smile. That being said, here is my list of unconventional hotties:

1. Prince

2. Conan O'Brien

3. David Spade

4. Jeff Martin - the only reason i'm putting him on this particular list is because Jennifer compared him to Captain Morgan, i don't really think he belongs on here, I've heard girls say that he makes them quiver.....I agree :)

So basically I'm all for a funny/can sing and gyrate not so hot to others but hot to me type of guy. I certainly don't have completely horrible taste, i still find Jude Law and Ewan McGregor hot. (Apparently i have a thing for the Brits as well)

At the Mode concert last week, Sly told us all we each had one and only one "There's your Boyfriend" to use. Her boyfriend had long stringy, curly hair. He was ordering popcorn after the concert and wearing what resembled some type of hockey jersey. Mine was so drunk he could not stand up, it was so bad a group of people were standing around him staring as he balanced on one knee and fell again. Sly said he looked as though he was having some type of seizure, that's how drunk he was. She also mentioned that we are all going to hell and we're sure to come back as ugly people for playing such a game....then we laughed so hard i snorted out loud :)

On a sidenote about going to hell, there was this one other time a few years back. A very un PC friend of mine was driving and almost backed into this woman in a wheelchair. My reaction was "oh my watch out" my friends reaction was to say "well, really, she's already in a wheelchair, she wouldn't have been any worse off" .... Now she's going to Hell!

My friends and their Dads

Dawn was telling me the other day about something her dad had said to her and i was crying i was laughing so hard. I then decided to write a blog about my friends and their fathers.

So Dawn was having a conversation with her mother about marriage and children. She was telling her mom that she was approaching 30 and decided it was too late to have babies. At this point her father walks in and is terribly upset that Dawn has decided she no longer wants children. (They already have 3 grandchildren but all are boys)Dawn tries to explain to him that she's almost 30 and does not even have a boyfriend at this time in her life. Her dad then exclaims "you don't need a man, that's what sperm banks are for, go get a sperm doner." Her mom starts yelling and Dawn is appalled because he is absolutely serious. She tells me this story over dinner and i almost spit my iced tea all over her. Priceless.....

Melissa's dad is the most unlucky man i have ever met. It never fails that each time he purchases anything, anything at all, something is wrong with the item. Here is the list that i can recall off the top of my head. Melissa can refresh my memory when i speak to her next and i'll add to the list.

*He bought a package of socks, buy 10 get one pair free. His package did not contain the free pair.

*He was buying running shoes, tried on the left shoe and purchased them. When he got home and went to put them on, he realized the holes had not been punched into where the laces go on the right shoe so he could not lace them up.

*He purchased a great big tool box that he had to assemble himself in the basement. Once it was all put together he realized that his tool box did not contain the keys needed to lock the drawers.

*He bought a go-cart type of toy for his grandson. When they opened the box at the birthday party, the whole go-cart was smashed to pieces.

*He purchased a package of underwear size large. Inside however, all of the underwear were size small.

*He bought a ford truck, they were trying to send out recalls for a new paint job and his recall did not show up to his house until after the recall had expired.

*He was drinking a pop at Swiss Chalet when the whole bottom fell out of the bottom of the glass thus pouring pop all over his lap.

*He bought a digital cable box that was defective.

*He ordered an appetizer at Boston Pizza for his meal and the waiter brought him something completely different.

Top 10 things I Love about Vegas!!

So we are back *sound applause*

Rather than bore you with a play by play of what we did, i'd rather just point out why i love Vegas sooooo much. As well as you all know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas :P

1. Toilets were accessible 24/7. I have the world's smallest bladder even at the best of times when i'm not consuming large amounts of alcohol. It's always a pain in the ass to try and find somewhere that is open or where i don't have to purchase something first. In Vegas there are so many casinos, bars, hotels that are open all the time that it was never a problem to stumble into one while drinking on the street.

2. Which leads me to this one. You can drink anywhere and everywhere. I kept forgetting and would try to finish my drink and then leave wherever i was. When really i could have walked down the street with it to my next location. As well some clubs close at 5am and serve until then. On our last evening there we managed to meet some people from TO and drink till 9am with them at a small bar/casino. This is where we took turns taking pictures with this particular gentleman that was passed out all night long :)


3. The weather was phenomenal. Obviously it is a dry heat so even when it was like 100 degrees it wasn't unbearably hot. Plus i love the sun. I'm like that old lady in There's Something About Mary except i complain non-stop about my developing wrinkles and continue to lay out in the sun anyway.




4. Vegas is so incredibly gaudy and trashy, but at the same time it's beautiful. Everything is done on such a grand scale and the hotels were just amazing. They have pregnant women handing out the porn cards, you know the order her up to your room type of cards right outfront of the beautiful water show at the Bellagio. Best of both worlds i suppose.

5. The locals were extremly helpful. We had one girl who worked at a hotel offer to try and get us passes to a club. She called and left a message that she got them for us and offered to meet us outside the club so that we would have them for the evening. This was great as most of the clubs have enormous cover charges like $30 to $40 just to get in the door.


6. The deuce. It's this bus that costs $5 for a 24 hour pass that will take you up and down the entire strip. Very cost efficient but the slowest thing on earth. It took us like 45 minutes to go anywhere, however it was highly entertaining. 2 older women got on with Mardi Gras beads. Nathan asks if they were out partying to which they reply "oh no" Nathan then asks where they got their beads and they answer The Rio. Nathan then leans over to me and asks if i think they showed their tits and comments that they would really only have to lift the very bottom of their shirts in order to show them. Another man got on that mentioned very loudly that he was from Detroit, his name was Rory and then spelt it completely wrong and yelled that he sold his car to purchase a bus pass. Pure class ...




7. Heather's wedding was wonderful and very different. It was in a hotel outside the porn district, Reverand Cotton performed the ceremony and Elvis sang 3 songs. This particular Elvis was apparently rather well known, he's been in movies and such things. However, he was very strange, we were all questioning whether he was perhaps drunk or high as a kite. In any event the whole ceremony was very entertaining and unique. This brings me to the other brides. You see quite a few people walking around in wedding attire and most are very jovial and happy and having a good time. We ran into one women who was pure white trash. She was fat, looked as though she may have been missing teeth, she was wearing a veil and a black tank top with no bra and a white skirt. Her man was wearing a ball cap, a plaid shirt and looked to be quite older. They were sitting in our hotel eating hotdogs at the deli. We decide we need a photo pronto. I take one as they are getting ready to leave and get their backs so as to not be obvious. Nathan approaches the bride and asks if he can have a photo with her. She yells "hold on ma" into her cell phone and rolls her eyes at him. Her man walks over and says "I don't think so" very rudely and they walk off. I was dying laughing.

8. There was this one particular corner of the strip that we spent many hours at, drinking and people watching in the wee hours of the morning. It was insane, the outfits we saw, the people we talked to and the goings on on the corner. We saw a girl surrounded by like 10 guys pissed out of her brain, bending over and jiggling her tits for them, we were sure a gang bang was about to occur. This one man was screaming into his cellphone at the top of his lungs for about 10 minutes, i took a video of the last few seconds of said phone call but have no idea how to post it on here. I saw a 300 pound woman squeeze into a dress that was so short and so tight her ass was literally hanging out. I wish that corner had a webcam set up for all to see, i would watch it religiously.



9. The light show at Fremont Street was also phenomenal. Again i took a video but have no idea how to post it, picture will have to do. We ended up down there during some Nevada Gay Pride day which made the festivities even more entertaining, they even had the protesters out there with their Jesus signs, good lord.

10. I loved Vegas because even though i am not a gambler at all (i mangaged to spend $2 in total on a slot machine) there is so much to see and do. I would love to go back and see the Cirque Du Soleil show "O", i would love to sit on that corner and people watch all day long again for as long as possible. I don't think i've ever laughed so hard as i did sitting on that corner, it was ridiculous.

Vegas!!!

Well folks we are off to Sin City in the morning. I will be sure to take as many naughty pictures of my fellow travellers as possible and post them promptly when i get home. Stay tuned for some fabulous travel stories. However any stories you may read from my fellow friends regarding moi on the trip will all be lies.... i swear, i'm an angel :)

Clumsy....

PP and Dawn asked me to write about how clumsy i am. It's like i have two left feet and even though i have been walking for many many years, i seem to find myself sprawled out on the ground more times than not.

The most vivid memory for me is when i was about 18. A bunch of us got a hotel room in TO and drank all night long. We then went to a bar and drank some more. It was winter and very icy. I was in this cute little black PVC dress that i borrowed from Sly. On our way home from the bar this homeless man asked me for a cigarette. . I obliged and as i was walking away from him, i became light headed from digging through my purse and slipped on a patch of ice. I landed with my dress over my head and my ass hanging out for all to see. I went with 2 female friends and about 8 male friends. The men stood around me chanting "I see London I see France, I see Ashley's underpants." Dawn helped me up and helped me to salvage a small part of my dignity.

Another time when i was also around 18 and also wearing that same bloody PVC dress i had a spill. I was dancing on the speakers at the Kingdom and fell backwards into this pit where most people toss their beer bottles. Lucky for me there were no bottles yet, but i landed in this crumpled mess in the hole on some stairs. Strangers ran over to see if i was ok while my friends stood by doubled over from laughing so hard. I got up like a trooper, continued dancing and drinking until the wee hours. At work the next day i was sooooo sore i couldn't even cough and was convinced my ribs were broken. I went to the hospital and they told me to take some pain killers and go home...the doc didn't give me any pain killers booo :(

Last year i went to visit Jennifer and we went out dancing and drinking ( i see a pattern here LOL) at the Dance Cave. At the end of the evening we had to go downstairs to get out of the bar. On our way down the stairs, i must have missed one, and tumbled down about 10 stairs and landed flat on my face at the feet of the bouncer. I just remember Howard standing over me saying "oh my." At least i had pants on this time.

When i was about 19 i worked at a local amusementish type of park. Every payday the employees would go to this bar and spend our hard earned money. Well one day some genious decided it would be a great idea to go and break into the park for shits and giggles. So about 10 of us went along. As we were running down this long dark road to get into the park, i tripped and twisted my ankle. The adrenelene was pumping and i continued on. Inside the park we saw the owner driving around in his truck (rumours were if he saw someone in there he'd shoot first and ask later) so we're running, it's dark and apparently there is a big pile of dirt infront of me which i do not see. My foot lodges in it and i do a superman dive ontop of the pile of dirt. Needless to say we had to hide under this disgusting trailer with bugs everywhere to elude a car driving up the roadway and i wanted to die. At home i woke the whole house up, got some ice for my foot and went for x-rays the next day. Again, nothing was wrong with me.

There was another time with Dawn at Arizona's. I believe we had just finished peeing outside in a field or on the side of a road with her sister. We were walking back to the bar in a field and down i went. Funny thing is, a few seconds later she fell in the exact same spot. Must have been uneven ground, certainly not us LOL.

The strangest time i ever fell was in a bar called Oliver's Twist. I was literally standing at the bar with Dawn ordering a drink. When all of a sudden i'm down on the floor, just laying there. I didn't trip or stumble or anything. She had no idea how i got down there either.

The most embarassing time..oh wait, they all are, was in Cancun. I stumpled off a bus and did a running fall infront of a bus full of people. Scrapped up my legs pretty good and just prayed the bus driver would not run over me while i was trying to peel myself off the pavement.

Perhaps i should start wearing practical shoes to the bar, running shoes maybe?

Jeff Martin..............awwwwww

So i had the best weekend of my life thus far. Since i was about 13 i've been obsessed with the band The Tea Party. PP took me to my first TP concert at her highschool LOL about 15 years ago. Ever since then i've been head over heels in love with the lead singer Mr. Jeff Martin, as well as a huge fan of their music. My friend Dawn and i have been to countless concerts, if they play anywhere in our general vicinity we go and see them. It's actually quite ridiculous and even slightly embarassing when I tell people "i'm going to see the Tea Party." I get a lot of "again?" and "haven't you seen them enough?" and "my daughters a groupie" "you're a loser" and so on. Anyway much to our dismay, the band broke up recently and our worlds were shattered.

Until, Jeff Martin decided to move to Ireland and go it alone. Alas, my heart fluttered once more, my obsession could continue. We got wind of a show playing about an hour away from us, but much to my dismay i had an accident with my foot and was not very mobile. I then found out he was playing in our city a few days later, Dawn rushed out and secured our tickets.

So friday night after the gym i get home, turn on my msn and I find a wonderful surprise. My friends girlfriend works at a radio station and he tells me Jeff will be at a local bar drinking. I call Dawn and we're ready in no time. We walk in the door, order a beer and ahhhhh there he is, in the VIP area with a silly little rope and a few couches. We sit at a table close by and admire from afar. I am too embarassed to go and say anything. However, after a few beverages and watching a girl outside say hello and get a picture i figure "fuck it." I've been waiting years for this moment.

For some reason his bus driver decides to strike up a conversation with me outside and i ask him about a picture with Jeff. He says sure, calls Jeff over introduces me and the night begins. Dawn comes out and also meets him and the rest of the guys. We not only chatted with Jeff, but we chatted with Bud the bus driver and Ratesh the tabla player and Mike the drummer who apparently played for Page and Plant as well as the radio girls and the woman from the record label. Mike suggests it's getting cold and Dawn needs a beer, he invites us into the VIP area with them. So for the remainder of the evening we get to shmooze with the love of my life, drink for free and go behind the velvet rope. It was all so surreal.

I'm telling you it pays to be genuinley nice people. Noone else was invited back there, we didn't make asses of ourselves and tell him that we have practically been stalking him for 15 years, nor did we just talk to him. We were yapping with everyone, where as the other people going up to Jeff were only interested in talking to him and ingnoring everyone else. This one group of girls was relentless, constantly going up to him and dragging their friends over outside. Dawn asked one for a Marlborough, the girl refused. Dawn and I had a good giggle that those bitches never made it where we did :) So it was just us and about 8 industry people with him...good times!!!! We danced and drank and sang and talked and drank some more ( PP will be happy to know they ordered chocolate martini shots).

Anyway, so we were all horribly drunk, walked out together and got hugs and kisses at the end of the evening, we didn't shut up about it the whole drive home.

The next day i tell my family, mom tells me not to do drugs with the band at the concert, and my sister tells her that if he tried to rape me i'd probably let him and like it. My mother agreed and looked very nervous LOL.

The show on Saturday was amazing of course with a very strange and eclectic crowd that made "there's your boyfriend" far too easy to play. Dawn and I were leaving when we see Bud walking down the street. He tells us the band will be back inside shortly and we end up talking to him for quite some time. He then brings us on the tour bus to check it out while the band is inside signing autographs. PP asked if i stole anything....I did not. Though Bud did give us each a can of gingerale from the fridge :P

So we go inside, get one last picture and off we go. I was in such a state of *ahhhhhh* that i left my cellphone in the cab on the way home. My mom called it the next day and the woman from the cab company answered. I had to go retrieve it from the dispatch station while my mother gave me dirty looks. She mentioned that i must be so frazzled from all the drugs i did with the band........LOL.....for the record we did not.

He ate the piece of paper...Oh my

So a few funny things this week. I had called a probation officer to find out if my client had been released from prison and left her a message. She in turn called me back and left me one that went something like this:

She stated that the client had indeed been released and she had met with him a few days prior. She reminded him to give me a call and even wrote out my phone number and extension on it. He then proceeded to take the piece of paper, put it in his mouth and "ate it, right infront of me." She commented that apparently he had gone wacko and not to expect a call from him because he no longer had the number as he had eaten it.

At this point I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I'm not sure if it was how she said it or what he actually did, but i could not stop laughing.

PP also reminded me this week in an email of a time i made her burst into uncontrollable laughter. Her parents have a pond behind their house and we decided to go kayaking last summer. My mother kept warning me "whatever you do, don't go in that water it's disgusting and filthy." So of course, i'm trying carefully to get into the bloody kayak but have no idea what i'm doing. I get one leg in, then the other and boom i roll right into the pond. I'm freaking out and trying to get back on the dock because now i think i'm going to grow another head from being in the filth. Needless to say after PP finished laughing at me, we went kayaking. Upon our return to her house, we recanted the story to her mother, she also said "ewe" and made a disgusted looking face at me.