Roller Derby

This photo makes me howl...hilarious!!!!

I am very excited for the weekend as there are multiple events going on. I plan to spend most of Friday wandering the streets of TO shopping as well as checking out some of the free Luminato (TO's Festival of Arts & Creativity) exhibits.

(Photo Credit: Le Grand Mobile, copyright Veilhan/ADAGP Paris, 2005)

Believe it or not ("George isn't at home so leave a message at the beep"....sorry I had to) I love artsy fartsy things, unfortunately I was not bitten by the creative bug so to speak. I took music in school rather than art class so my drawings have something to be desired. I do however have some mad skills when it comes to dancing. I took Jazz for over 10 years and Ballet for a few as well so I'm a huge fan of dance and musicals. Which leads me to Friday evening, a few of us are going to see We Will Rock You Woo Hoo!! Drinks and dancing are sure to follow.

I'm also very excited for Saturday evening. Jennifer has her 1st Roller Derby bout and I will be in the audience snapping photos of her on the ground......errrr.....ahhhh cheering her on, yes that's it :)

I plan to whoop it up this weekend as Dear Lord I must attend that training again next week. I'm planning on sneaking in some Sudoku or something to liven it up a bit. I enjoy the content, it is the delivery that makes me want to sleep. I yearn to watch paint dry rather than sit there. The only saving grace on Monday will be my thoughts of sun & sand as volleyball will officially begin that evening. Rock On!! Enjoy the weekend!!!

I wanted to see the Green Fairy

It has been a rather busy weekend thus far. LD and I went over the river shopping on friday, for dinner and then to our old stomping ground. The only reason I went OTR was to pick up my favorite lipbalm, only to find out the store did not have any in stock. They did however have the same brand in these weirdo tubes that I am not a fan of however I bought a few to tide me over. Dinner was yummy, its this cute place on the beach where you can dine on the patio and look out to the water. We were the only people sitting out there as it was a tad chilly, but we could care less, it's summer :)

We then went to our oldy but goody bar and danced the night away. There is this one man in particular that we have seen at a few bars for years and years now. We went over to say hello, I thought he introduced himself as Peter, LD thought he said Damion....so we still have no idea what his name is haha.

On saturday we drove up about an hour and a half away to visit a friend for a BBQ and drinks. We were a tad late as we stopped off at the local mall to do some shopping 1st. I was in desperate need of some comfy shorts and capris for volleyball as my summer league starts next week....so excited for that!!! I started laughing as I somehow can justify spending a ridiculous amount on a few pairs of shorts and a purse, but I can't seem to dish out the $500 it would cost to get a GPS system that I would looooveeee to have. (I'm geographically challenged)
The BBQ was good and LD brought some Absente that burned like a son of a bitch going down & tasted like black licorice. It's that drink in Eurotrip where they see the green fairy. I was hoping to see one too, but I could only stomach a few shots at most. (Perhaps it's the lack of grandwormwood in this particular brand)

Today we went shopping again (I shop on weekends like WIGSF eats at restaurants haha) but just to grab some cheapie DVD's. I grabbed Little Miss Sunshine as I heard it's good and figured what the heck, Blood Diamond and another I can't recall. If the weather holds out I plan to go for a walk on the track tonight....I hope it rains :)

What did you ladies and gents get up to this weekend?

Wake me up!!

I am not a fan of this "Save Now" feature as I just wrote this huge blog and hmmmm it's gone. Here I go again.....


So I managed to sit through two days of training with no role playing in sight. The bad news is I still have four full days left of sheer and utter boredom. The content itself is quite interesting and the speaker is well versed on the subject matter, it's her approach that is making the class want to fall asleep. She stands at the front of the room in the same spot and speaks for 2 hours, quick break, speaks again for a few hours, lunch and guess what folks, she speaks again until the end of the day. The day changes only when we do quick group work or someone asks a question. We have even been let out early on both days as she can feel the energy in the room disappearing. The only saving grace for me is that the training is over a few weeks time so it's back to the grind tomorrow.


During the training I giggled to myself about a good laugh I had at a friends BBQ this past weekend. It was one of those laughs where you are crying, snorting, gasping for air and doubled over in sheer delight with no end in the near future. I gave LD & the guys my camera to look at photos of a friends wedding as I A) forgot a particular photo on there had been taken and therefore B) handed over my camera. The photo in question was of myself in my attach to your bra spanx....a lovely idea by myself and LD after the wedding festivities had taken place IE tooooo much drinking. Up pops the photo. LD & I burst into uncontrollable laughter, the guys are confused and reach for the camera to get a better glimpse of the funny image only I of course delete it before they have a chance.


I love those moments where an uncontrollable guffaw springs from your mouth and you double over in side spitting pain from the boisterous laughter that lasts forever. When was that last time you had a good laugh like that?


This is a quick outtake of a clip that Marilyn Monroe was filming for "Somethings Got to Give." Her costar was of the canine persuasion and not cooperating at this point. She lets out this laugh near the end of the take that always puts a smile on my face. It's not something one would expect from the quiet and poised Marilyn, it's like she lets go for a moment. I LOVE it!!!!

Bleh

Hope everyone had a great weekend, especially the Canucks as it was a long one for us. I'll be back to post on Wed or Thurs. As some of you may recall I was dreading training for work which may or may not involve role playing boooooo!!! It's this week so I won't be around, you'll have to stare at the hats below for a little while longer haha.

Hats Hats and more Hats

My latest purchase was this horribly expensive purse but, in my defence, I used a gift card and then a few of my own bucks to purchase it. I didn't feel too bad as I consulted my mother beforehand as to how much was too much to spend on a purse. She in return asked if it was less than $250.....yay mom!!!!

I also just purchased a new hat, however this baby was on sale for $5.99 woo hoo gotta love a great deal. You can check out the collection of hats at the end of this post if you are so inclined.

I've been trying to work on me lately as one of my goals. For some reason, aging has freaked me right the hell out this year. I'm concerned about my past tanning and horrible burns I've inflicted upon my body, not to mention the smoking, popping pills with no thoughts (nothing bad silly people, but ask my friends I'm the sudafed queen, tylenol 1's I doubt it's good to take codeine all the time even in low doses) and other such things.

So to rectify my behaviour I've been looking for a fake tanner (any suggestions, they no longer make the one i love) I've quit smoking and I'm back onto regular tylenol and very little sinus medication. I also went to the gym tonight for the 1st time in 4 months. I gave my knee a try on the treadmill and so far so good. As well I did some upper body exercises with weights, nothing like where I used to be, but I will build back up to that in no time.

I'm also focusing a lot right now on money and savings and all that kind of stuff. I find it fascinating that some people do not have any type of savings plan....no RRSP's, no pension, no anything. I struggled with putting money away at first as it's not guaranteed that I'm going to live to see tomorrow. But......in the off chance I might live to be 90 I thought it best to at least contribute to my agency's pension plan. I'll work on the RRSP end of it later :)

What goals are you working towards? Am I the only one approaching my 30's with this bizzaro obsession with my body and taking care of it all of a sudden?

Yes the plastic tag thingy is still on the blue hat....I haven't worn it yet haha


I got this one in Camden, I love the huge pin on the side, so cute!!

Planes Trains and Automobiles

I find it interesting that some women can recall fantasizing about their perfect storybook wedding as a young girl. I have never been one of those women, which is most likely why I do not get very excited at weddings as an adult. To be honest, they generally make me feel extremely inadequate that I have been unable to find a partner to enjoy life with, and even if I did, I doubt I would want to go down that road. I'm not interested in spending $50,000 on one day, a dress I will never wear again, flowers that will die and a DJ that insists on playing YMCA no matter how many times you tell him/her not to.

I went to a wedding this weekend as my friend P's date and had a wonderful time. I have never been to a wedding before where the bride and groom were soooooooo beyond happy it even put a smile on my face. Most weddings are joyous occasions but this particular one went way beyond that and rather than feeling inadequate I felt like I wanted to have what the bride and groom had, as their happiness and love was so contagious, even cynical Miss Ash was nowhere to be found.

The day in itself was spontaneous and fun. After the ceremony P and I decided to check out her friends Airplane Tour business to kill some time before the reception. Next thing we know we're flying high above the sky with P as co-pilot, taking in the sights and viewing the city as we never have before. Afterwards we sat in the sun and enjoyed ice cream and catching up before making our way to the reception. I don't get to see P very often and it was great to spend time with her, I felt rejuvenated. I have a few things on the go this week, Dr's appt to find out if the abnormal cells are gone, I'm heading back to the gym tomorrow after my 3 month hiatus and most importantly, I finally have an entire week to myself......no weddings, no birthdays ...nothing, i'm sooooo excited :)

Hilarious

I have no idea if this is a true story or not but received it via email and thought it was hilarious. Enjoy:

This happened in Utah and was on the news! A city councilman, Mark Easton, lives in this neighborhood. He had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built. Apparently, the new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance.Mark and his new neighbor had some great arguments about this as you can imagine - not great feelings. The new neighbor had to drop the roof line - no doubt at great expense.Recently, Mark Easton called the city and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home. Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate.When they went to Mark's home to see the vent view, this is what they found.

Not only is this hilarious and I applaud the gentleman that had the balls to put up the middle finger shaped vents but it reminds me of a conversation I once had with a coworker. I guess there was this well known homeless man in the area that would often ask strangers for cigarettes. If they denied him, he would yell "Well fuck you then" and walk away. Another well known woman in the area somehow found "Free Parking" bags and put them all over the parking meters, laughing the entire time and dancing around. These two individuals most likely suffer from some type of mental illness, but how wonderful it must be, to not have a constant filter on your mouth/actions, much like the builder of the above photos. I love it!!!

The Killers

It has been an extremely busy weekend yet again and unfortunately there are no breaks in sight for this coming week. I am going to see the Killers baby, as well it's a special week at my work and we have events going on everyday until Saturday. As well I am attending a wedding this weekend and of course there is Mother's Day. I hope to enjoy the sun and beautiful weather one day soon, just take a day to myself and really really enjoy it.

I will be starting this very intensive trainingl at the end of May and I must say i'm not looking forward to it ...... roleplaying will be a requirement ...... i'm not into roleplaying.....well, under the right circumstances I am, however not for work purposes :)

For Canadian fans of the Amazing Race, check out this website, Phil is seeking Canadian contestants for his new show.

I had a Falafel platter for dinner this evening (falafels, hummus, some type of mushroom salad) and I started to think about my favorite food......and realized it would be next to impossible to name just one. I'm in love with Japanese food (okonomiyaki, sushi), Thai food, Vietnamese food, Indian food, I don't discriminate....I love them all. Jennifer took me out for Ethiopian food a few years back, and guess what, I loved it!!!
What kinds of food are you ladies and gents into these days?? Any suggestions for this gal, something unique and tasty.....and of course veggie :)

Sexy Boy...I'm not your boy toy...Sexy Boy!!!!

Where do you think the above photo was taken??? Could it be an Art Gallery opening? Perhaps some type of rock concert......If you guessed a World Wrestling Federation Event circa 1992 then ding ding ding you win!!! That's right folks, the man on the left is wearing a tazmanian devil sweatshirt and the man on the right (that my friend is giving cut eye to which is kinda funny as she is wearing a faded denim shirt granted this was 15 years ago) is sporting his finest American Flag blouse, unbuttoned of course with a bandana/doo rag to boot. Hot stuff!!! I was a huge wrestling fan many moons ago, i'm talking when The Rockers ruled the ring and Tug Boat was still around. Here are some of my teenage crushes:

Brett the Hitman Heart with Tugboat to the left

Marty Jannetty of The Rockers

The British Bulldog

I can't possibly leave out my boyfriend always and forever, Mr. Shawn Michaels once part of The Rockers

Here he is sporting his very luscious locks.....apparently in my early teens I had a thing for Mullets, who knew!!!

The below link is a montage with Shawns "Sexy Boy" theme song playing in the background.....hilarious.

Michael Shawn Hickenbottom


As an addendum, 2DP had a recent blog documenting some of the horrendous CD choices he has made over the years. First on his list was Nelson and their After the Rain Album. After I snickered and choked on my drink I confessed that I too not only owned the tape, but went to a tape signing and to their concert for this particular album. The year was 1990.....maybe 1991 and my love for long hair continued on haha. A few photos from the concert I attended.

I also had a crush on David Faustino when he played Bud on Married with Children (who also sported the Business in the Front, Party in the Back Do)

And lastly, I must not leave out the Corey's who both had questionable hairstyles:

Let me just end this with a quick note that my taste in men and errrr their hairstyles has definately changed......and for the better haha. Any bizzaro crushes for anyone else?

Pooped

I've been absolutely knackered these past few days, weddings and birthdays and more weddings and birthdays next weekend as well, I need a bit of a break I do think. That being said I'm heading off to bed at *gasp* 11pm, unheard of for this gal as I'm generally quite the nighthawk. I've absolutely nothing left in me this evening so I shall leave you with this silly joke until Wednesday:

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank & shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate.

She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son all was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears.'What's wrong?' asked the mother 'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out,' replied the daughter. The mother told
her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walked into the room
in tears. 'Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.' Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago. A week later her son walked into the room in tears.

'It's okay' said the Mom, 'I know what happened.
You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.''No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.'

Let's end today with a man who makes me tingle....Mr. Lenny Kravitz!!!! Yowza!!!

The Commute

So as most of you know I have a 45 min drive into work and a 45 min drive home. It's mainly highway driving so I just throw on the tunes and off I go. The drive in the AM is rather enjoyable as I listen to this hilarious morning show which in all respects is rather inappropriate, but funny as hell. They have a blind movie reviewer, ridiculous contests (the male thong race around the city for 1.5 hours, beat your meat, go to mansions in the richest part of town get ingredients and ask to use the home owners kitchen to make a dish all at 8am and be back in the studio by 9:30am) and the hosts are ridiculously funny.

The less oh shall I say pleasant part of the commute begins when I veer off the highway and into the city where I work. Here are a few photos of the last 10 minutes of my drive......YUCK!!! This is the beauty i see every day....enjoy!!!


Hmmmmm the fresh air yummmm!!!!

Oh and the Trucks, gotta love the trucks!!! They are freaking everywhere throwing stones all over my windshield booooo trucks boooooo!!!

Can everyone see why I am dreading moving to such a place???? Bleh!!! The downtown area is not much nicer unless you enjoy crack and other such vices. Egad certainly not my bag, think i'll commute for a little while longer.

Too Good to be True!!

This week has been truly amazing and I feel very thankful. I went to see John Mayer in concert and I must say, that man can groove. I've never really given him much thought other than I enjoy his music, but he blew me away live. Johnny (as I like to call him) worked his guitar, he sauntered around the stage, wiggling his hips, tapping his feet......and I melted. His voice was absolutely angelic and gave me shivers. That is how I know an artist has touched me....when I get chills. Jeff Martin ( I know I know boooo ashley booo) and Sarah Sleane have also had that affect on me live.

My amazing coworker mentioned that she had an extra ticket to see Stephen Lewis the following night and invited me along. The evening had been sold out since September and I was so incredibly excited and will be forever grateful. I have wanted to see him speak for ages and of course he did not disappoint. Stephen was charasmatic, eloquent and absolutely hilarious. He spoke, read pages from his book Race Against Time and of course brought the audience and himself to tears. It was a rather intimate speak with less than 300 people in the crowd, he answered questions and of course signed his book.

He also suggested a book entitled "28 stories of AIDS in Africa" by Stephanie Nolen. I picked it up this evening and shall give it my full attention next week.

I feel at peace this week, it's a rather bizzare feeling for me but i'm definately digging it. I have some goals that I am working towards (Lord give me strength for the one haha) but so far I have managed to stay on track Woo Hoo!!

Vegas Baby!!!

Highlights of the Trip:

*The teenager sitting directly behind me on the plane gagging and eventually throwing up.... a lot....upon our arrival into MacCarran Airport. I wanted to die.

(GoGo dancers in the tub)

*Tao....I adore Tao. It's this 42,000 square foot playground with a restaurant, dance club and a lounge all under the watchful eye of a 20 foot Buddha. When you enter the club there are nearly naked women bathing in a tub surrounded by water and flowers. The service at this bar dreadful but well worth the wait. We partied like it was 1999 into the very wee hours of the morning.

*Which leads into my next point.... no last call. Aside from the fact that you can consume your alcoholic beverages anywhere at all, Vegas has a 24 hour happy hour. We went out one evening at 2am to O'Shea's. It's this little bar attached to the Flamingo where we always seem to meet the cream of the crop. This year it was a group of homophobic racisits that we let entertain us for a few hours. They were ridiculous. We emerged from the bar at 7am...oh my!!

(We ordered a shot....they gave us 1/2 a glass of liquidy delight)

(Enormous drinks as well...NOTE: this is not my drink but merely a prop)

(LD and I leaving O'Shea's at 7am, "Crap it's light outside")

*Jennifer and her interest in the police and people getting arrested, which we saw quite a few times. She likened it to watching cops and squealed with delight when she thought she saw a low speed car chase. "Look, look guys look."

*The words that came out of Jennifer's mouth were also a highlight for this trip. For those of you that know her, you'll understand what I mean. She's hilarious. Some guy walked into O'Shea's and declared "All I want to eat is some pussy" to which Jennifer replied "I don't think they sell that at Subway." (He was heading for the Subway restaurant). She also said "How is it possible that I am both the most flirtatious of the group and also the Cliff Clavin?" LD and I had tears streaming down our faces we were laughing so hard. Jennifer is the biggest flirt i've ever met and she is also a wealth of information and loves to share her stories or answer questions....much like Cliff.

*Red Rock Canyon National Conservation Area was absolutely beautiful. We rented a car and drove along the scenic route at dusk. It was such a contrast to the lights and action of the city that never sleeps, it was serene and absolutely breathtaking.



*Our only celebrity sighting was Exhibit from Pimp my Ride. He was playing craps at the Palms....LD pointed him out, I had no idea who he was. Oh and apparently Prince plays once a week at the Rio...dammit!!!! We missed him!!!

*The bartender Josh nicknamed me "Trashley"....how the heck did that happen. I've had Rashrey, Assley and many many other nicknames but never Trashley. LD and Jennifer thought that was the funniest thing they had ever heard.....I hate Josh :)

*Our flight into the Denver airport was HORRIBLE. I've never had such a ghastly landing. The pilot asked the flight attendants to take their seats early into the flight as there was a lot of turbulance to which Jennifer replied "no shit." As we approached the runway our plane was teetering back and forth like a seesaw. I thought one of the wings would hit before the wheels. I hate landing and taking off.....this just traumatized me even more.

So all and all we had a fantastic vacation. It was much more relaxed than last time, the weather was fantastic and we went off the beaten path. Seriously though, my body needs a break from all the late nights and copious amounts of booze. Viva Las Vegas!!!

Would you Rather......

We made it back from Vegas safe and sound however, I am far too tired and under the weather to actually post about our vacation at this present time. I even slathered the inside of my nose with balm on the plane as Dan suggested.....bollocks I say!!! Too many germy people in such a small area. On the bright side, it didn't hit me until our flight home and was in truth more likely my body protesting the lack of sleep and obscene amounts of booze I inflicted upon it. I'll post some photos and such this week. For now, let's play a quick game of Would you Rather????

1.Would you rather have all of your hair feel/look like pubes or be completely bald??
(Hmm i'd have to go with bald on this ones, wigs people wigs)

2.Chug a strangers cum out of a full 2 litre bottle or drink a 12 oz glass with a mixture of month old milk and cremated body ash??
(Crap, i'd have to say the 2 litre bottle. Old food and drinks make me want to vomit)

3. Have sex once with a 99 year old or be passionately lusted after and stalked by people over the age of 75??
(Stalkers = creepy and really how long can a 99 year old last, that would be the least painful of the two)

Feel free to add your own, hope everyone had a great Easter!!! Oh, I just had this emailed to me and it's freaking hilarious. Check it out, it's less than 2 mins long. It's entitled "Deadly Handsome Men"

Peace Out Yo!

Ummmmm I took my snow tires off of my car last weekend and this is what i wake up to.........you've got to be fucking kidding me!!! I am well aware that it is a very tiny amount of snow however that does not negate the fact that it's minus 3 outside but feels like minus 10 with the windchill. Brrrrrr!!!

I saw the surgeon today and he's sending me off for an MRI to see if I have torn cartlidge. I was less than thrilled with this answer as I was hoping for some type of solution .... now....not in another month and a half. His only advice was to "take it easy until the MRI." Gee thanks!!!

The one thing I am very much looking forward to this week is Vegas Baby!!! I'm most looking forward to the 89 degree weather (some of you already have that now....bastards) and just being able to relax ... well as much as one can in a place that never sleeps. I went shopping the other day for a new bathing suit and could not find one tankini with a built in bra.....not one. So i'm heading over the river to Victoria Secret's to see what they have. I figure the models have huge tatas so they must have suits with some type of support right? Anyway, I wish you all a great weekend, enjoy spending time with your families or stuffing yourselves silly with chocolate. I'll be at Jimmy Buffets at 9am "because