So I'm finally back to feeling like a regular human being again. It's amazing how one slight movement can put me out for days at a time. I remember once picking up an empty grocery bag off of the floor and putting my back out for 5 days. It's hard to explain to those who do not have such issues but it can actually be debilitating for days at a time. I've tried to be careful over the years, bend at your knees, pick things up properly but every once in a while BAM I feel it go and my heart sinks as I know I will be in severe pain and have limited movement for who knows how long; sometimes it's a day or two other times closer to a week. It's probably been close to a year since I've put it out this badly, so at least I'm lucky in that respect.


It's actually quite interesting though how much I take for granted in my every day life when I'm feeling good. It doesn't matter if I drop something I can just pick it right back up, I can hop in and out of the tub, I can drive wherever I want, do whatever I want but when I'm hurt EVERYTHING is a gigantic chore. Seriously, you know it's bad when you go to the washroom and have to think "how the fuck am I going to .... you know....wipe..."! Okay TMI!!!


I was once talking to a woman pushing a man in a wheelchair and she had asked me if there was another way to get to a certain street without having to go down a very steep and busy hill. Unfortunately there was not and I felt terrible for the two of them. I remember her saying that we don't think of such things until we're faced with such difficulties and it's true. I myself would just walk right down that hill without a second thought and yet for them it was going to be next to impossible to get down that same hill.


I'm certainly not comparing my back issues to the man in the wheelchair but it's interesting how we go about our every day lives and it's not until we're faced with a difficulty that we realize how important our silly everyday movements are. I remember laying in bed day 2 of my pain and trying to no avail to get comfortable. Every movement sent what felt like stabbing electric shocks all over my body and yet while I was in pain I was still thankful that I could feel that pain. There are others who are not so lucky and I'm sure would give anything to be able to feel again, however unpleasant it may be. So I think about that and how grateful I am that while I'm in a hell of a lot of discomfort, it will pass and I will go about my life as before.

That will be the first entry of my Gratitude Journal......I'm thankful that I can feel!