Thank you for all of the kind words in regards to my last post, they mean a lot!

Oddly enough I received this email yesterday and thought how fitting. It made me look at myself from another perspective; perhaps I'm not so bad after all! These poor women on the other hand are very sick (both in body and mind) and it's sad to see what they have done to their bodies.

The email was entitled: So you think fat is ugly?

And the last half read: Well!!! After seeing these I think I'll keep my fat ass!

My Struggle

Weight became an issue for me in my early 20's. I had a tumultuous relationship end and I went on a downward spiral from there. I quit university, partied nightly and gained 60 pounds. I certainly do not blame the break-up as it was more of a domino effect and that just happened to be the 1st one to fall.

I wanted to share some before and after photos with you so that you can understand where I am coming from and the struggle that I've had. In these photos I was 18-19 years of age:

This photo was taken only 3 years later, I was 22-23 years old and It was the 1st time in my life that I had ever struggled with my weight:

I have tried to lose weight in the past and successfully lost 30 pounds going from the above photo to this:


However, I gained it all back plus 15 more when I quit smoking. Apparently it's next to impossible to lose weight and stop smoking in the same year due to a lowered metabolism etc.

Experts say that weight is a symptom of a deeper issue; In order to successfully lose weight it's important to get to the root cause which I have never though about until now. I'm well aware that exercise and healthy eating will assist me to lose, however I self medicate with food and FINALLY took the time to figure out why.

*I started to use food to fill a void, a loneliness that I felt and it spiralled out of hand.

*As well, my sister and I are very different in that I am much more independent and she is much more needy when it comes to my parents attention. I often feel pushed to the side because they are so busy helping her...day in and day out and I use food to comfort myself.

*My weight is also how I protect myself. I've been single for many years which I blame on my weight. It is easier to believe that someone would not want to be with me due to my weight rather than to admit that it's because of who I am as a person.

*Lastly, I have a fear of success. What if I do lose the weight and think I look great but then nobody likes me? That scares the hell out of me as then I would have to deal with the above fear.

I must admit posting my "fat" photo was a rather difficult decision for me to make. I am currently floating somewhere in between all the photos but certainly closer to the chubby side than the skinny one but thankfully not that chubby :)

I suppose this post was a confession of sorts and I am hoping that getting to the root cause of my eating will help to assist in my road to recovery if you will. It has gone on for far too long and I am looking forward to a healthy future and getting my life back. I want to feel like the outside matches the inside again. Of course, any suggestions/tips would be greatly appreciated :)

And if you must I'll let you say it, but just this once: "boombaba boombaba"

Veggie Bacon!!

I am sooooo excited that I’m ready to burst. I have found soy “bacon” that actually tastes like…….yes you guessed it BACON!!! It’s crispy and delightful and like heaven in my mouth. You see, I was an avid bacon eater back in my meat eating days but gave it up about 7 years ago.

Strangely enough I’m not a huge fan of the meat alternatives such as the fake soy chicken bits or soy beef bits for stir fry’s. I’m down with the veggie burgers, tofu dogs and TVP for tacos but that’s about it. I find the others to have a strange smokey taste that’s not for me.

You can imagine my utter joy and amazement when I tried a new soy product “veggie bacon” and it had all the crispy delightfulness that bacon has without ….well the pig. And the taste was quite accurate as well. I had my first "BLT" in 7 years and damn was it good!! Now if I can just find some soy “chicken” wings I’d be all set :)

No Pain No Gain

A big Thank-You to Rawbean, I received my prizes from her contest and they are adorable. First up we have Jerome the smoking ice cream cones:

And last but not least Jose who enjoys long walks and hanging out with Kitty:

I was back at the gym lifting weights regularly about 2 months ago when BAM I got an injury. I continued on thinking meh, it will go away. Well obviously it got worse and now here I am with an injured rotator cuff. At one point it felt like a 300 pound German man had wrestled me to the ground. My chiropractor was appalled that I've been using my arm at all since I last saw her and now I've been told to pretend it's broken and use my left hand for reaching etc. Well folks, I'm a righty and it's been tres difficult to do that. I'm ready to tape this sucker to my body because for some reason I can't help but use it....reaching into the cupboard for a glass *doh*, hanging laundry *doh*, reaching into the backseat of the car *ouch and doh*.

I also went for my first deep tissue/therapeutic massage last night. I've had a hot stone as well as a relaxing massage before but never anything like this. Holy shit it felt great and painful all at the same time. It was like I wanted to beg her to stop one minute and the next I didn't want it to end. Today however it feels like that 300 pound German man has taken a baseball bat to my back and yet there are no bruises. I'll be going for another one again next month :)

Speaking of the gym (a few paragraphs ago :P ) why is it when I go to the gym....even 30 minutes later.....I look like I've been running for 3 days straight I'm sooo red??

Anyone else have this problem?? Happy Friday!!

Have you ever taken a picture of your friends with someone in the "background"? I of course mean that the person in the "background" is actually the subject for the photo. Maybe you've spotted a really great mullet or some nice camel toe and wanted to capture the moment in all it's glory. I know I have, Enjoy!

This first photo was actually sent to me via email. I have no idea who the girl is nor the man, but the caption read "Pants too tight" (Enlarged on a computer it's quite the sight):

This photo was taken in Vegas. We found this guy passed out at the machines, all alone for quite some time. We thought it would be funny to take pictures with him. Apparently my friends put my email address in his pocket those sneaky bastards :) This is LD posing just like the man:

Yours truly taking a turn (ignore the roll it's being worked on haha):

Security moved the man to a table, where he passed out again. N decided to strike a pose:



On the streets of ...yes you guessed it Vegas again. These people were gyrating, making out and being just plain nasty, so myself and my camera shy friend took this opportunity for a photo.

In retrospect I feel a little bit bad about taking this one...just a little bit as the man was rather old. However, he was sporting the longest speedo I have ever seen as it went right up to and past his bellybutton. Difficult to tell from this picture as it's tiny, but funny nonetheless. G and L posing for the photo:

I have a few more photos of mullets, but sadly they always seem to be taken in dark places and the "business in the front party in the back" hairstyle is hard to make out. Does anyone else do this?? I figure I've at one time been the subject of such a photo so it's all good!!

(Amy Brown drawing)

I am not in the best of spirits and truth be told have been in a bit of a pissy mood as of late. I can’t really place my finger on one particular event as it’s more an accumulation over time I suppose. I find myself reevaluating my life every so often, the meaning of it, the path I’ve taken and what direction I want it to flow. I feel like for most of my adult life I’ve been stuck in this little rut that grows deeper and deeper as the years pass on; I’ve become comfortable and complacent in many aspects of my life and each day feels the same as the last.

As well, my 30th birthday is fast approaching which may have contributed to this melancholy feeling. It’s not so much the number that I fear, but more so the lack of accomplishments thus far in my life that 30 represents. I feel like I’m in the same place that I was 10 years ago. I don’t own a house (I’d really prefer a loft but you get the idea), I do not have a significant other and spend my days as I always have day in and day out. I work during the week, every now and again I hit the gym, I play volleyball 6 months out of the year and on and on I go.
I need something more, to feel fulfilled and joyful, but sadly I do not know what that something is and thus continue on……as I always have, with an empty feeling.

Well at least i'll always have my Morrissey :)



(I am well aware that I have a wonderful family, great friends and of course my health and really my sadness is a minor inconvenience compared to many other things in the world, it's just how i'm feeling at the moment)

New Years

I hope that everyone had a safe and happy new year/holiday. I know that Christmas is about spending time with family and friends however I often receive gifts that baffle me. Take for instance these lovely slippers I was given this year. They appear to be something that either Peter Pan or perhaps the Smurfs might enjoy. Take note of the pretty pom pom by the heel. Umm yeah....I asked if they were some type of joke as everyone else received normal slippers; or perhaps she tried to find the ugliest pair possible for fun; maybe they were meant for my grandmother. Nope, mom thought I would like these. PP told my mother it's a good thing she's not sensitive as I rattled off the comments above. I must admit they were good for a laugh!

I spent New Years Eve playing Rock Band and belting out some NIN and Bowie at a friends house. Those bloody drums are next to impossible to play and I didn't even bother with the guitar. The more malibu rum I drank the more of a rockstar I became :)

We also played Cranium and like any grade 8 dance the men were on one side and the women on the other. The game was tied but the bloody bastards came up and stole our thunder at the last minute. I'm definitely done with the New Years Bar scene, it was fun to stay in with a bunch of close friends and play silly games whilst drinking until the wee hours of the morning. Waking up was rather unpleasant though as the entire room as well as my face/ hair/clothes took on the smell of the air mattress.....bleh!! It was this disgusting plasticy yucky smell.

Every year I make a New Years Resolution however I actually forgot about this tradition of mine until it was too late. So I've just decided to work on the goal list I set out and to steal TT's resolution to be more fabulous this year. Perhaps I should start off by not taking photos in random bathrooms anymore. LD & I like to do this when out at bars...umm yeah.

Does anyone else out there do this LOL?

Tim Burton

I have been a fan of Tim Burton films for as long as I can remember. As a child Beetlejuice held a special place in my heart along with Edward Scissorhands. As the years went on, so too did my list of beloved characters with Jack Skellington perched right at the top. An honorable mention to Big Fish a magical movie full of surprises and wonder; Burton never fails to amaze and entertain.

I had the pleasure of watching Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street recently which I would be hard pressed to dislike for the few simples facts that it was A) A Tim Burton film B) A musical (which I dig) and C) starred Johnny Depp. It was a dark/gothic horror with a great amount of bloodshed and gore however, the use of blood was more impressionistic than realistic and I loved loved loved every moment of the film. Even though Sweeney Todd was so dark with splashes of colour here and there it was visually captivating and rather humorous in parts. The singing was not operatic by any means but rather simple, you may even find yourself singing along as you exit the theatre.

WIGSF made his own meme, feel free to complete your own:



1.What do you really want for Christmas but you know nobody will get it for you?

A GPS as I have absolutely no sense of direction and get lost on every road trip I take.

2.What do you not want for Christmas but you know that somebody will get it for you?

Pyjamas…pyjamas and more pyjamas.

3.When do you open your gifts (Christmas Eve or Christmas morning)?

We open our gifts on Christmas morning of course. Why do people open them on Christmas Eve?

4.Do you prefer gifts wrapped or in gift bags?

I prefer wrapped gifts as they are fun to open….oh and envelopes of course ;)

5.Did you regift anything this year?

I’m not regifting per se but I am giving my friend a little something that I do not want. It was a little freebie on Black Friday that I do not need, we normally don’t exchange presents so it’s not really a Christmas present.

6.What’s your favourite Christmas movie?

Christmas Vacation, I freaking love the Griswolds.

7.What’s your favourite Christmas TV special?

I have a soft spot for Rudolph.

8.Do you like egg nog?

I do like egg nog, however I haven’t had any yet this season.

9.Real tree or fake tree, which do you prefer?

You would think I’d be all “fake tree” because of the environment and the senseless killing of trees however, I’m a fan of the real thing *hangs head in shame* I enjoy the smell!


10.Would you actually use one of those fireplace DVDs if you don’t have a fireplace?

Ummm nooooooo! Do people really buy those? Have any of you bloggers tried one? I’m not judging, just asking *snicker*

11.Are you sick of Christmas music yet?

Not really as I’ve avoided malls at all costs since November and I certainly do not listen to Christmas music on the radio, if a song comes on I change the station. I’ve really only heard a few songs this year. I do enjoy “Last Christmas” by George Michael and “All I want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey.

12.Are you getting up early to wait in line to do some Boxing Day shopping? (Canada’s equivalent to Black Friday)

Yes of course, it’s a bit of a tradition with the ladies in my family, up at 6am and in the car by 7am for an hour and a half drive to a mall in a different city. We only leave early so as to avoid the chaos that ensues around noon at the malls when the rest of the shoppers get there. We’re done by then and on our way home.

13.When was the last time you sat on Santa’s lap?

I haven’t a clue, I was obviously quite young. Maybe my friend who’s having a holiday party this year (he’s a firefighter) will have “Santa” at his party. Actually I’m going to put in a request right now that one of his co-workers dress up, I’ll have to tell Santa how naughty I’ve been this year…….

Snow...and more snow...and more snow

(This was taken at the beginning of the snowfall)

So we had our first snowstorm of the year which made me a very unhappy kitty. I have been stuck inside all day (other than the 4 times I was out shovelling) as my street of course has not been plowed and it is rather dangerous out there. I did witness three cars attempt to get down my street only to get terribly stuck. I have great snow tires but was not about to test them today. Instead I sat down with a new book and enjoyed lounging around in my jammies all day long. It's almost 1AM now and I just took a shower! Believe me, I know how to lounge :)

(this was a little later on)

And of course a short video for your viewing pleasure. I just want all of the people in the warmer climates to see what they are missing Ha!! Notice the lights in the distance....yet another trapped car. For once I would like it to continue throughout the evening to insure a snow day tomorrow! Fingers crossed :)

Lights

Bah Humbug!! I am a bit of a Scrooge this time of year. I loathe Christmas music & snow but will admit I enjoy the chocolate advent calendar my dear mother buys me every year (yes I'm almost 30)! I avoid the mall at all costs during the December rush and am thankful that I only have two gifts to purchase....one for my mom and one for my dad. Christmas dinner, meh I could do without; however I do enjoy the times spent with friends and the paid week and a half I have off from work.


One thing I do not understand are the massive amounts of lights a la Clark Griswold that people proudly display. They are ummm interesting to look at I suppose but in more of an "oh my" point and laugh type of a way. As most of you know PP and I trek through neighbourhoods looking for such places and have found some treasures in the past. I am certain that this year will prove just as fruitful. I really can't imagine the type of person who A) wants to pay such an atrocious hydro bill and B) has enough time to string lights up from the roof to the lawn and back up again.


It doesn't even have to be a Clark Griswold display to make me cringe. The lights look misplaced in the photo above...yucky!!

(this one is OK but it's still a little busy and the white lights don't match but this is more my style)

I am more of a simple girl, a few nice white lights tastefully placed and I am delighted. I think it's garish when people have white lights, coloured lights, blinking lights oh heck let's add a big blow up Santa and a string of different coloured lights for the hell of it........sooooo tacky!! It also drives me nuts when people have the string of lights that go up to an outside tree lit, it looks so bizzare. That being said haha what kind of lights do you have on display if any???

Mitch Albom was on Oprah today discussing his book For One More Day. A very poignant question was asked: What if you had one more day with someone you had lost; who would that person be and what would you do?

If I had one more day to spend with someone, I would spend it with my Aunt. She succumbed to cancer extremely fast and at a very young age. She went into the hospital with what they thought was pneumonia, and passed on about a month or two later. I was 22 at the time of her passing and had just been accepted into school. Education was very important to her, she was a strong woman and felt that we should be able to support ourselves without the help of a man or a partner. I had attended University prior to this, however left as I felt it was not for me. Just as I was accepted into College, she lay in the hospital, unaware and dying.

If I could spend one more day with her, I would first and foremost apologize for always saying I would come and visit for a weekend "one day" but never actually doing so. I was a teenager, interested in my own life and selfish. I would wrap my arms around her for a very long time and tell her how much I love and appreciate her. We would go for a walk, sit in a park and talk about life; she was never one to sugar coat anything and I truly admire her honesty. She had so much wisdom to offer of which I was only able to scratch the surface, in our short time together. If I could spend one more day with my Aunt, I would sit and listen to her thoughts on life and love; try to learn from her experiences and take in any advice she had to offer; and of course we would laugh and laugh until we cried......I miss her dearly.

They say that ordinary days are the most precious, cooking breakfast, talking over a coffee, those are the things that we miss the most when someone has passed on, the simple everyday moments.

So my fellow bloggers: What if you had one more day with someone you had lost; who would that person be and what would you do?

Animal Rights

As you know one of my goals was to have 100 plus signatures on a petition regarding animal cruelty laws. This petition came into force when a dog was found abandoned by a river with dumbbells weighted down on her collar. She was found emaciated and near death. A local man was charged with causing unnecessary suffering to an animal by failing to provide veterinary treatment, failing to provide suitable and adequate care for an animal and abandoning an animal in distress. The case is still before the courts and unfortunately if he’s found guilty, the man could face up to six months in jail, a fine up to $2,000 and a two-year prohibition on owning animals…….That’s it!!!



A few months’ later 2 German shepherd mix breeds were “found” nearly starved to death. The male could not even stand up and weighed less than 33 pounds (his optimal weight is closer to 66 pounds) and the female was just as malnourished. The people who “found” the animals and “rescued” them were actually the owners of the dogs and have now been charged with 17 combined animal cruelty charges. Again, their case is still before the courts.



(The dogs have since been adopted out and this is a current photo of them)

So those are just a few reasons why I think our legislation needs to be revamped, not to mention that Criminal Code provisions on animal cruelty have changed little since 1892. Just think, when my parents were in school the teachers were allowed to give the strap and other such things. Today that is unheard of because it’s cruel; just as tying weights to an animal near a river or starving them to near death is cruel, rules need to be changed.

The petition I had signed was to “introduce government legislation amending the Criminal Code provisions on animal cruelty based on Bill C-373 and to recommend against Bill S-213.” Essentially Bill S-213 raises the penalties for animal cruelty but that’s about it whereas Bill C-373 changes the language and helps to protect animals more so than the current legislation.

A few examples:

It is currently an offence to kill an owned animal without lawful excuse. However, wild or stray animals can be killed for any reason. Bill S-213 still would not extend any protection to wild/stray animals. Effective legislation makes it an offence to kill any animal without a lawful excuse (lawful excuses include hunting, fishing and farming).

There is also a section for brutal and vicious killing of animals that the current legislation does not address. Several years ago in Edmonton, two men tied a dog to a tree and beat it to death with a baseball bat. A vet testified that the dog died instantly on the first blow therefore the men could not be convicted of causing unnecessary pain and suffering. Under Bill S-213 there would be no change whereas Bill C-373 makes it an offence to kill an animal with brutal or vicious intent whether or not the animal dies immediately.

Scott wanted to know where I stood on animal rights and I believe that all animals should be protected under the law whether they are a stray or a pet. Animals should not be trained for fighting, nor should money exchange hands for such things, it’s barbaric. Tying weights around an animals’ neck and trying to drown it or starving an animal to near death is not OK, it is cruel and stiffer penalties are a must. Lastly, I want to know what the hell type of person would treat another living breathing being with such disregard anyway, animal lover or not???

It has been just over 3 months since the beginning of my silly goal list. Progress thus far:

I’m STILL working on #14 the damn vitamin one. I am supposed to take them every day for 90 consecutive days. I even bought one of those pill holders to help me out. The problem is I’ve missed a day here and there and have to start ALL over again which is frustrating. It would be ideal to take them as soon as I wake up, however the pills upset my tummy when taken sans food; by the time I get home in the evening vitamins are the last thing on my mind… thus the dilemma. Any Ideas????

#35 Read all of the unread books on my shelf (2/35)

Umm yeah, still at 2 completed and one on the go…..oh did I mention I just bought two new books as well….ay dios mio.

#73 Finish the 1st 3 seasons of LOST before the 4th season begins

I have watched the 1st 2 seasons thus far. Unfortunately the 3rd season is not available until December 11. The writers strike might actually come in handy for once haha. No rush on this one apparently.

#41 Visit 15 of my placements at work (4/15)

#44 was a 3 parter: Clean out closet/under my bed/dresser

I cleaned out my closet and rearranged some things….and by things I mean my ridiculous amount of shoes/ Bath & Body hand soap. I put a bag together and gave a bunch of clothes to a fellow freecycler.

#24 Try a new recipe once a week for 4 months (4/16)

Every time I try a new recipe I end up hating it, so it wasn’t a surprise when I made a Green Bean and Mushroom casserole that was wretched. The consistency was awful…..


Next I tried Tofu Fingers which I must say were rather delightful, not something to eat all of the time, but I will most likely make them again.

I tried a “light” chickpea salad…..ummm it called for one can of chickpeas and ¾ cup of mayo among other ingredients. It was like eating a can of mayo so I added a 2nd can of chickpeas to even it out a bit. It’s actually quite good now!!

I recently bought a new blender and tried one of the “smoothie” recipes. It was quite good with yogurt and mangos, good for my sweet tooth.



Completed:


# 3 Make my bed for 30 consecutive days

#9 Take a class at Good for Her

Umm yeah, I’ve already written about the HJ class :)

#26 Get a minimum of 100 signatures on my Animal Rights Petition

Yay!! With the help of a few people I was able to make this goal a success, namely LD who came through big time! Time was a bit of a factor as well as the petitions needed to be in by
November 1.

#32 Floss everyday for one month

Have I continued flossing every day since completing this goal……not at all. I do however get around to flossing about twice a week which is good enough in my books.

#40 Try a Tofurkey for Thanksgiving

I was elated when I found my Tofurkey at a local health store and popped that sucker in the oven soon after. My family ate the carcass of a bird, I ate something that resembled fake meat in a tube. To be honest it really wasn’t that bad with the gravy and stuffing.

#50 Put all of my digital photos on disks

This one took for bloody ever as some of the photos needed sprucing up IE rotating and eliminating red-eye but alas it has been done.

#68 Send a letter to a Canadian soldier

I sent a card off last month so someone should have it in the near future. I didn’t put a return address on it though as I’m not looking for penpals with a penchant for guns and killing.

#74 Ride the Wicked Twister and Top Thrill Dragster

I seriously thought I had a made an enormous mistake while I was sitting on the Dragster waiting for the green light to hurl me into a certain death. I lived…and lost my voice from screaming in sheer terror.

#75 A month with no booze

September was a loooooooonnnnggg month :)



Any recipe ideas??

Yay!!

Black Friday was an interesting experience, one that I hope to participate in again next year. I was told that most restaurants would be closed on the 22nd and that we may find ourselves eating at the local gas station. That came extremely close to being our reality as we drove around for a good hour looking for the "one restaurant" that would be open according to our front desk staff at the hotel (ours did not have a restaurant). I'm not sure if it was the shoddy directions he gave me or my lack of following correct ones, but we never found "Friendlys." We did however stumble upon a Perkins after driving around......forever!!! Yay!!!

We purchased a local newspaper and headed back to our hotel room to plot and plan which deals we wanted to get first and where to go. We then tried to go to bed, with the assistance of gravol at 8:30pm. Needless to say I tossed and turned until well after midnight desperately wanting to sleep. BEEP BEEP BEEP ahhhh I love the sound of an alarm at 2:30am.


I must say we did a fantastic job of not only staying awake but staying in good spirits while utter chaos closed in around us. We expected to stand in long lines and did just that while others tried to bud in ahead much to the dismay of those around them. We shopped from 4am until 2pm sans break which is a feat in and of itself. We finally emerged from the mall to the sight of big fluffy snowflakes falling all around us which was a change from the bright beautiful sun only 5 hours before. We gave our very weary legs a break from standing and stuffed our very hungry tummy's at The Olive Garden. Of course our shopping extravaganza was not over yet, we stayed out for a good 2 hours after our meal and finally returned to our hotel room around 5:30pm. Phew!!!

We had planned to shop the following day as well, but had purchased far too much already and were over our limit for the border as well there was absolutely no room left in my friends SUV. So we relaxed that night, watched a silly movie and got a good nights sleep for our drive home. We had a good giggle at the Toll Booth the next day as the woman chastised us for paying with all of our remaining change. Last time I checked, dimes and nickles were still considered money no??? My friend apologized to her in advance and stated we couldn't use the change at home and wanted to get rid of it. She told us we had to "wait until I count this" which we obviously expected. We waited quietly while she muttered to her friend about how "they wouldn't do this at the bridge" and about how obviously horribly rude we were blah blah blah. I plan to pay with all of my leftover pennies next time I go through :)

I clearly have a penchant for shoes among other things. I mean come on now, that first pair, patent peep toe, silver healed lovelies, how could I not?? My only other "big" purchase was a camcorder and I bought a few books "Eat Pray Love" and "Love in the Time of Cholera." Did anyone else brave the crowds and pick up a few treats??