Much needed Vacation!!

My body is here at work, however my mind is elsewhere. We leave for London tomorrow and i have yet to pack as i am a bit of a procrastinator. For the 1st time in my life i am not looking forward to 5 o'clock as i am well aware of the madness that will follow and the sleepless night ahead.

I am however looking forward to catching up with Sly (she just moved to London) my childhood confidante as we paint the city red and rock harder!! This is my second go around so i will be skipping over ther super touristy sites that i saw years ago (Buckingham Palace, Tower of London, Palace of Westminster). I want to shop, shop and shop some more. I will also be visiting my great uncle which will be lovely as he is 93 and it may be the last opportunity i will have to see him. There are a few walking tours that i would like to go on mainly The Blood and Tears Walk (Explore London's macabre history. Learn of witchcraft, executions, torture, Jack the Ripper and much more - Gruesome, Grisly and lots of fun) and The Jack the Ripper Walk (A walking tour with an expert guide. As the darkness descends on London venture back to London in 1888 when Jack the Ripper terrorised the streets at night. Walk the sites where he butchered his victims and find yourself stumped ...)


Of course it won't all be gruesome. I would also like to go to Cambridge one of Britain's oldest and most picturesque towns to take in the architecture which is supposed to be amazing. There are 31 colleges in Cambridge, representing over 700 years of British architectural excellence. It also houses the Fitzwilliam Museum which is a "mecca for art lovers."


I am most excited about seeing the musical Cabaret!!! I have been dying to see this show for years and years and finally my dream will come true in London. Soooo excited!!! Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome, Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret...ahh i can hardly contain myself!!!!

We will also be taking a train over to Paris for a few days. I fell in love with Paris years ago, it is truly one of the most beautiful places to visit. Walking along the Seine River is so relaxing, surrounded by such magnificence with Notre Dame staring back. I remember spending hours wandering around the Pere-Lachaise cemetary searching for Oscar Wilde and Jimmy of course. This time around i hope to explore the Louvre and perhaps even the catacombs. Here are a few photos i took when i went in gasp 1999. I will be back in a few weeks...be good while i'm gone!!

Ha Ha!!

So Rawbean's latest post has a bit in there about a developmentally delayed person at the movie theatre, which made me think of a few things; laughing when it's really inappropriate to do so was one of them.

I'm ashamed to say that on occassion a guffaw has left these usually appropriate lips at very inappropriate times. Once I was at the doctor's office and i had to leave the waiting room because i was crying i was laughing so hard and everyone was staring at me. I also let out a yelp in the grocery store when this old man (ass in the air bending over) farted really really loudly practically right on me. He was attached to an oxygen tank and i felt horrible for laughing.

I also remember leaving the theatre after seeing "There's Something About Mary" and i kid you not, a man with arm braces was parked right beside us. He was fiddling with his keys and all i could think about was that moment in the movie where Tucker(who was also wearing arm braces) dropped his keys and had difficulty picking them up. I started to snicker at the car and begged my friend to let me in ASAP. I'm horrified with myself now for acting that way, granted it was like 1998 and i wasn't as aware shall i say of other's feelings as i am now.

I just received this clip of a talkshow host acting terribly inappropriate. I was in absolute shock at the way he conducted himself and his actions throughout the interview and yet could not stop laughing. I honestly thought this was real until i found out it was from some dutch comedy show. Still funny nonetheless. (I certainly was not laughing at the poor man's problem, just at the host for not being able to control his laughter). Check it out it's less than 2 mins long. Do any of you my dear bloggers have such stories to share?

Waiting for the weekend....

The above picture pretty much sums up my last few days at work. Rather than bore you all with the details I shall just say that i am more content at this time. Scheduling conflicts were resolved, not exactly as i had hoped, but enough that i can't complain.

As well they are filming a movie in my building which has caused a bit of chaos with the already shoddy parking situation. Tomorrow I may move one of their "film" pylons, park my car and place the pylon on top as someone else did today. I thought that was hilarious!!

So needless to say, i've been bit of a cranky pants and am very much looking forward to the weekend, as well as my upcoming trip to England. I just need to stay sane and have a few good laughs until next week. Speaking of which, this picture makes me giggle. A bunch of us were out last weekend and acting rather juvenille towards our friend (IE: making fun of her for something she did). She was not impressed as you can tell by the photo, I am however in the back smiling away!!! Tee Hee!! Come on it was hilarious.........

God Grew Tired of Us

I was watching a show late one night and came across a trailer for the documentary God Grew Tired of Us. (Here's a little blurb from Wikipedia)

"God Grew Tired of Us chronicles the journey of three young Sudanese men - John, Daniel and Panther - in the strange new world of America and how they strive towards a brighter future. As young boys in the 1980s, John, Daniel, and Panther walked a thousand miles to escape their war-ridden homeland of Sudan. They are among over 25,000 boys, who came to be known as the Lost Boys.

During the five years they walked in search of safety, thousands died from starvation, dehydration, bomb raids and genocidal murder. Eventually the boys moved to the United States. They must now learn to adapt to the shock of being thrust into the economically intense culture of the United States. Learning new customs, adapting to new and strange foods, and coping with the ordeal of getting and keeping a job, or multiple jobs while never forgetting the loved ones they left behind in Africa, they set themselves to do whatever they can to help those they left behind in Kakuma, and to discover the fate of their parents and family."

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I am very interested in seeing this film. Not only does it tell the story of the lost boys, but it also shows what the boys experiences in the US tells us about ourselves. There was an interview i saw with the three men and they spoke about their new struggles and not always being accepted by Americans. One of the men could not understand how people just walk down the street without acknowledging one another. The interviewer asked if he felt people in the US take everything for granted and his response was "yes, they don't see that they have everything." I agree with him that often people take things for granted and we're not always so friendly to one another. I think this documentary will help people to become more self aware about life in general and the way we treat other human beings, as well as to appreciate the struggles and hardships that we will never know. I am truly in awe of these men.

(Has anyone seen this film?)

What If's......

(This is my trunk)
I woke up on Monday morning to find my driveway had turned into a skating rink and my car into an enormous ice cube. The only good to come out of this was a surprise day off due to shoddy weather. Rather then do anything useful, i lounged around in my jammies ALL day long, watched terrible tv and relaxed, it was delightful. (this is my bumper)
So back to work i went and while diligently working (ie chatting on google) a friend and i began to discuss past relationships and "what ifs." In my life there was only one person that came to mind during this conversation. I was very young and naive at the time. I started to live my life with reckless abandon and he was more of a quiet soul. It was actually I who broke it off, he was a very genuine person, too nice if you will. I wasn't ready for the super nice, kinda nerdy guy and at the time i felt he was rather boring. He contacted me a few years later, and I've since seen him once. We caught up, had a few laughs and of course he's now married. I just wish that i knew back then what i know now, nerdy nice guys are the way to go!! I would do back flips if i could find such a person to spend time with now. Have any of you my dear readers ever felt the "what ifs...."?

Who here likes Accents the most????

So on Friday night K, Jennifer and I went to the local pub to have a pint or two. Why is it, when we go to this particular place, or anywhere for that matter random men feel the need to come and join our table? I don't generally just saunter over to a table full of men and plop down.

Anyway so let me introduce you to Leslie. He came over to our table and asked which one of us liked accents the best as his friend Steve had a Welsh accent. We all stared blankly at him and shrugged. I totally dig accents however this clearly was Leslie's "in" with women so i told him accents do not impress me. So Leslie sits down "just for 5 minutes" and in those "5 mintues" which were really like an hour he procedes to tell us he's 37 years old numerous times, he practically bear hugs K and Jennifer tells him several times "no touching." His politics are disturbing he's a conservative and declare's his absolute love for Stephen Harper....Bush....and that he would kiss the ground Mike Harris walks on. Clearly none of us have anything in common with Leslie and it only gets worse.

Leslie prefaced his thoughts with "i'm not a racist but...." i'm sure you can all see where this is going. He then procedes to tell us that he wants his baby to look like him....which we all agree that it should as it will be coming from him unless of course he adopts. He then tells us that he does not want his baby to look Chinese or Black or...., "is that racist?" We're all like "YES." Leslie i'm sure was not feeling the love at our table and had his Welsh friend Steve come over and join us while he got himself a pint. Steve was extremely hard to understand as his accent was so thick. At one point he said something and i repeated "you have more fun with men?" to which he replied "no no no, more fun with me mum." Basically he thought we were boring (come on now, those of you that know us ...PLEASE!!) Steve didn't like that I thought he preferred the company of men and left the table. Leslie then returns and at some point tells Jennifer that she has the eyes of a magician (What the fuck does that mean LOL) calls her our Leader and continues to make racist remarks (I ask everyone if we're on Candid Camera, maybe it's all a joke). After a few more horrible words from his mouth K has decided that she's had enough and tells him she thinks it's time he left. He then asks Jennifer and I if we agree to which of course we do. This angers Leslie, he gets up walks forward and yells "Fuck you all" then in a softer tone "I didn't really mean that, goodnight" as he stumbles into chairs knocking them over in his stuppor.

The girls and i then decide that the next people who want to sit at our table will have to tell their most embarassing story and we'll pretend like we've already told ours to one another. (This stems from an anal beads story some man told PP and Jennifer one evening).

So after a few mintues of being free from Leslie, in walk Carl and Kevin. Carl and Kevin had a bet going and wanted to know who was American as we had Marlboroughs sitting on the table. We invite them to sit down as they seem like a breath of fresh air after the other two mofos and they even humour us with their most embarassing stories.

Saturday we surprised Tokyo Tintin in the early afternoon with mimosa's and he would not let us leave the apartment until the entire bottle of champagne was finished. Needless to say there was a bit of stumbling going on as we left for lunch...well really our breakfast. Great way to start the day :P
The Tiki Hula Luau was a lot of fun. There was dancing, fruity blender drinks and what else but pin the torch on the Polynesian dancer.

I actually made it to the Raptors game as i drank lots and lots of water at the party. It was a very intense sit on the edge of your seat, stand up and cheer kind of game. The Raptors were leading most of the time, however it turned around in the last few minutes so they lost 97-96 to the Mavericks. I really enjoyed the game, and the halftime show was amazing, very Cirque du Soleil.

A few of my favorite things....

I am in love with Bath & Body Works this amazing store over the river (In the States). They carry fragrant lotions, soaps, candles, that type of merchandise. My inner girly girl rushes out of my body when i am in that store and squeals in delight at all the wonderfully scented goodies.

Here are a few of my favorite things:

I am a lip balm connoisseur. It is rare that i will ever be seen without it and let me tell you B & B has one of the best lip balms out on the market today. It is made with shea butter, sweet almond oil and wheat germ and funny enough it is named "My Favorite Lip Balm" how fitting. (That is a picture of my stash....thanks PP)This is my ever growing collection of hand soap. They have a foaming soap, a moisturizing lotion soap and a regular one as well. Seriously people run out there and buy some today. My favorite is their Warm Sugar scent, but they also have Sweet Pea, Coconut Lime, Raspberries...you name it they have it. I feel like running upstairs and washing my hands right now!!!

These are called "wallflowers" which i refer to as "stinky's." You plug them into the wall and they emit a wonderful scent. Some include Caramel, Vanilla, Warm Sugar.....i must admit i love cinnamon and tried that one however i found it way too overpowering.

Last but not least is their handlotion. These are all tiny purse sized lotions that i picked up a few weekends ago. Love it love it love it. Seriously, every time i put some on, i breathe it in and a big smile goes all across my face.....soooooo good!!!

If any of the men were curious (not that you would not enjoy the above products) but they also have a men's section with shaving and bodycare products.

Have a great weekend my bloggy friends, i will be wearing my fruit hat proudly and helping Tokyo Tintin consume some pina colodas........but not too many, i have to be up at noon the next day to hit up the Raptors game.......this may or may not happen LOL.

Tiki Hula Luau

You should all go and check out Tokyo Tintin's blog this week. He's put the People's Republic of China On Notice and has this hilarious yet shocking video of Americans well, being Americans (no offence). For the Canucks it's sort of like Rick Mercer's Talking to American's segment. Eg. Name a country that begins with the letter "U." Some of the answers were "Utah" "Yugoslavia" The host was like "What about the United States?" Doh!!!

It's also Tokyo Tintin's special week. He's having a Hula Luau party for his birthday extravaganza and K the girl we visited in Africa will be making an appearance. Sugoi is the only word to describe such an event!!! Here are a few items that will be accompanying me to the shindig:

A fruit wrap

A jointed Polynesian Dancer to hang on the wall (Strange resemblance to TT)

This was on the back of the package. Various poses we can put said dancer in. I like the 3rd pose the best!! Sort of sitting, legs crossed with a flaming torch across his lap...Awesome!!
Of course there will be fruity tropical drinks to enjoy and leis all around. Let's all wish TT a Hau`oli la hanau!

What is this grade 2??

So i gave the Behavioural Psycologist (BP) a call on Tuesday and on Thursday there was a message on my voicemail....from his friend!! He said that BP was out of town but they were going to be at the same bar on Friday and to "show up." Am i the only one that finds this rather bizzare and creepy? He obviously had to call his friend to tell him to call me....so why didn't he just call himself? I'm not sure i will be going this evening, probably not. LD offered to call him and let him know that i was busy or out of town LMAO.

I have decided to share some of the items i have gathered from my travels with you, my lovely readers. Enjoy:

I got this mask in Tokyo, Japan


This is a mask that i bought in Africa

Another African purchase
This was a beautiful handpainted card that was a gift from a local


I picked these up in Venice
A goblet from Germany
And lastly, this was not purchased from afar. It was my Aunt's and when she passed away i was given the Buddha. I love it!!!

Elaine???

On more than one occassion my male friend has told me that i remind him of Elaine from Seinfeld. He recently moved away and returned over the holiday's for a visit. We had some drinks and some laughs and on his way out the door he turns to me and says "Ashley, you remind me so much of Elaine," just completely out of the blue......AGAIN!!!

I can't figure out if this is a compliment or an insult :)

So i decided to take a Seinfeld identity test.....and you guessed it, i'm Elaine.

Here's the quiz if you want to see which character you identify as.

Last year i wrote a post about an embarassing moment that my sister had, it's too funny not to share again. Enjoy.....

I read a funny blog about a man's crazy perverted old neighbour and it made me laugh as well reminded me of a hilarious story. I've been meaning to ask my sister about the details again but for those that know me....i'll never remember to ask. So i'll go from my shoddy memory of what she told me in the summer.

She was having dinner at her sister in law's house. The sister in law's father in law was there. He's an older Italian man probably in his 70's or 80's....minor details. Anyway so she's sitting alone outside with this man and they are talking about food. He mentions that he doesn't like sweets much ....but does like one sweet thing. So in keeping up with the conversation my sister inquires as to what this might be "like chocolate?" and he responds with "pussy" "i love the sweet taste of pussy" He then continues on and on with various stories about his genitals and women's breasts .... she was mortified and could do nothing but laugh as she was in absolute shock at what this man was saying. When she recanted the full story i do recall my mouth dropping to the floor, tears streaming down my face in sheer delight at this man's lack of tact. She also told my dad the story...and he's apparently met the man....dad however did not recall discussing this man's genitals LOL.