Busy Busy Busy

I'm so neglectful sometimes, my appologies. One would think having 10 days off for holidays would make for plenty of time to laze around and relax. Not so i'm afraid. I have a few friends home for the holidays that i do not get to see very often so i've been trying to spend quality time with each of them...which has not really worked out haha but i digress. Howard arrived home on the 15th and i have yet to see him and Jen was down for a few days and i also missed her. As well an old coworker is back in town from the Yukon for a few days and yup you guessed it...didn't get a chance to see her either. Mind you she called when i was out of town and i did call her back and left a message hoping to catch her on her last night here.

I went to a Christmas pubcrawl dressed up as Jack Skellington (see above pic) which is always good times. There were lots of funny costumes....Mary with the tummy and all, the really ugly bad christmas sweater, elves, reindeer, santa...you get the picture. We managed to make it to 7 bars which is not so bad, though the pubcrawl is called the 12 Bars of Christmas, so i guess we were slacking a bit or enjoying ourselves too much with the booze!!

On boxing day i was up at 6:30am and drove with my mom and sister to a mall about an hour away. We shopped till 5pm and yes we got some deals and i finally bought a digital camera yay for me!!! A few minutes later i get a call from Dawn asking about Gavin's open house that night.....i had completely forgot about it and was exhausted but we went and had a good time as all our old buddies were there.

Yesterday a bunch of us went up to TO. Now Moe a friend of mine is down from Dubai for the holidays. He asks me if he needs to bring anything. I suggest pj's a toothbrush stuff like that for the night. He brings nothing and makes us stop at a store so he can get a toothbrush and some deoderant but only because we were disgusted that he didn't bring anything. A few friends stayed in the hotel room and drank while Moe and i went to the Raptors game. We had great seats and ended up meeting Jennifer and Sly for some beverages as well as the hotel crowd. We danced and drank and i ended up chatting with a fellow at the bar and for some reason i took a picture of him LOL. Turns out he also does not eat meat and i got his digits, but we'll see, not sure he's quite my type. We return to the hotel where it's mayhem as we've had far too much to drink and we're all rather silly. In the morning I discover rugburn on my elbow ... curious... and i drag everyone to the Red Room for Pad Thai. Jennifer you will be happy to know that my New Year's resolution will be to step outside the box and try new things....get out of my comfort zone.

As for the next few days...well New Years is creeping up on us and i'm so indecisive. Happy New Years to everyone though !!!

The New/Old Job

So i'm back at my old job from a few years ago and i love every minute of it...well most of the time. Right now i'm concentrating on getting my client's files in order and figuring out all the fuck ups our two students have made but don't even get me started on them ughh. Anyway so i meet with people on probation and find them places to do their Community Service Hours. I probably have around 200 clients that i must see every month. Two of my favorite came in today.

The first gentleman i had the pleasure of hearing on the phone the other day while his probation officer and myself were disscussing an appointment for him to come and see me. She assured me he's really a big teddy bear deep down inside and laughed. He strolls into my office today 30 minutes late asking when i'm going to hurry up and see him cause he doesn't have all day. I start laughing immediately before i've even turned the corner to meet him. He's got some spunk that's for sure. I don't bother to reschedule his appointment as i'm surprised he came down at all to see me. In my office he proceeds to tell me that he's not going back to his placement cause he got bugs there....whatever that means....so i'm going through our database trying to find one for him. He complains about all the ones i choose, he's loud, crass and has absolutely no people skills whatsoever....I ask him if he has computer skills and he laughs and tells me that he can't even read or write...throughout all this though he puts a smile on my face and i am able to joke around with him even though he's a crotchity old bastard and i get a smile from him back.

The 2nd fav of the day is a girl who calls me in the morning and tells me she didn't fucking wake up in time for our fucking appointment and she needs to fucking reschedule it. Classy gal i can see. So we reschedule it for later in the day and she shows up 45 mins early and then appears rather angry in the waiting room that i'm busy when she's arrived and cannot take her right away. I did mangage to see her 30 mins before her scheduled time.....

Ah now i remember why i missed this job so much. You don't run into people like this everyday and as much as some of them will be a big pain in my ass, they keep me on my toes and make me laugh.

The Kingdom

So there is this bar that is about a 40 min drive from my house called The Kingdom. When my friends and i were in our late teens we would go religiously every friday and continued to do so until our mid 20's. It did not matter if the weather was shit, we were hardcore and went in blizzards, i remember driving behind plows and salt trucks all the way home once, it took us 3 hours LOL. I guess the reason we loved it so much there is that it was very big and they played fantastic alternative music 102.1 The Edge live to air. So as we grew older we did not go as much. A few of us went about a year and a half ago and had a great time as usual. Now i recall being horrifically embarassed as we had not been in almost a year at that point and the bartender looked at me and handed me a Canadian ... the beer i always drank there and he just smiled.

So skip ahead another year and a half later to last night. Dawn, Dave and I decide to make the trek up there and party like we're 19 again. Well actually Dave bailed but he's forgiven, we're going to the Mandarin next week :) So Dawn and I made the trek up there. We arrived fairly early because parking was always a terrible issue. We grabbed a couple of beers and sat down at a table. We then proceeded to laugh and smile and sing along both very excited to be back in our element. It felt great. We continued on the evening pointing out TYB's and i must say mine was quite the dancer. Larger fellow but man could he move and i'm being serious i loved the way he just let go on the dance floor it was great he reminded us of the Cosmic Dancer but better...anyone in our Gord's days will get that reference. Yes of course there were younger kids there, but i didn't feel exceptionally old or anything, though a lot of the guys were really quite tiny and short. It also occured to us that in the past year and a half it has turned into a big make-out bar...everywhere we turned people were getting down and dirty which i don't recall seeing in my previous years there.

We had a fantastic time and danced the night away. I'm sure we will be making the trek up there again sometime soon. And guess who i saw there....yes indeed....the same bartender i've been seeing there for years....and yes he smiled and asked me how i was doing and handed me a canadian, shameful i am.

By the way i purchased the school supplies for a child in Laos as my gift :)

Editorials in the Paper

I was reading the newspaper last week and came across what i found to be a funny
response to an editorial. It was titled: Killing is a funny way to show love for animals. So this woman responds to another woman's editorial by saying : "So and so mentions that she is an avid animal lover and almost in the same breath mentions that hunters are animal and nature lovers too. I have never understood how hunters can use that phrase. When you love something you don't murder it. You don't watch your beloved in all it's beauty and then blow it away with your gun or bow. I'm glad she doesn't love me or my children."

The letter continues on about how humans should respect the planet and other earthlings on it, but i just started to laugh when i read that last sentence, i thought good for her it put a smile on my face. Granted it was one of those "she didn't just write that" type of laughs. Of course since then there have been many editorials in response to this woman's about the definition of murder blah blah.

As for my weekend i went out for a lovely dinner with a few of my fellow volleyball players and some friends. Dinner was great ... as were the many drinks that followed. I must say i have never in my life consumed so many martini's and cosmos at one time. I payed for it dearly the next day as i could not even get out of bed until 2pm and then only managed to make it onto the couch for a few more hours of rest. I suppose this is what i get for staying in the past few weekends a big kick in the ass from the booze. I am never going out again :S

P.S Jennifer your boyfriend was there in his cowoboy boots and white button down shirt with Wrangler embroidered down both sleeves :)

Ten Thousand Villages

So i came across an article in the paper last week that got me thinking about Christmas and gifts. The following is a rundown of the article.

No Kidding Give a Goat for Christmas

For that dreaded impossible to buy for person on your Christmas list, how about a goat? The $31 goat you buy from Ten Thousand Villages goes straight to Rwanda. The article goes on to say that in our country so many of us have more then we can shake a stick at and giving someone a living gift, as they call them makes sense.

For $40, 100 kilograms of corn will feed a farming family in Burkina Faso in West Africa, where crops have been devastated in recent years by locusts and drought.

$25 will buy school supplies for children in the impoverished Southeast Asian country of Laos.

$10 will buy 10 chickens that will give a new start to Croatian families returning to their farms after years of civil war.

I think this is brillant and would love to send something however i am having a bit of a struggle deciding what to send. I do not eat meat and cannot imagine sending chickens or goats but at the same time am not sure i have an extra $40 lying around to purchase corn....well i suppose if i'm being honest i technically would if i missed a night out. As well it got me thinking, i don't generally push my views on others and if chickens or a goat could really help these people out why am i so hesitent to send such a gift? Perhaps the school supplies would be the best way for me to go, not too pricey and i believe that education is everything. Unless someone would like to split on the corn with me ......... ahhh i'm such an indecisive person, thoughts anyone? I also struggle with the fact that there are alot of needy people in my own backyard...should i instead find an organization here in Canada and donate to them? Help me decide........


Just to give a bit of a background on Ten Thousand Villages they provide vital, fair income to Third World people by marketing their handicrafts and telling their stories in North America.

Ten Thousand Villages works with artisans who would otherwise be unemployed or underemployed, providing sustainable income through fair trade. This income helps pay for food, education, health care and housing. Thousands of volunteers in Canada and the United States work with Ten Thousand Villages in their home communities.

For more information about these living gifts and possible locations near you visit:

http://www.tenthousandvillages.ca/

Ah Mode comes through yet again :)

Apparently i have no idea how to incorporate my pics throughout the blog at the appropriate places so just enjoy them as they are.

So Sly and I and a few of her friends went to see the Depeche Mode concert on the 1st and as expected it was absolutely phenomenal. We were right in the action eighth row to be exact, which does make all the difference in the world. The Ravonette's opened up for them and as Sly began dancing in the aisle one of the men in suits came up and told her no dancing LOL and ushered her back into the seated area....whatever was she thinking dancing in the aisle at a concert...tsk tsk :P
The Ravonette's finish their set which we all enjoyed and Sly and myself bugger off for a bit the usual pee break, check out the goods sort of thing.

We return to our seats, a gentleman in the front row raises his beer and shouts out a toast to Mode and we all cheer. The lights go low and oh yes it is time !!!! Everyone is screaming and yelling and the excitment is growing. Be still my heart there they are ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Let me describe everything before i go any further. First of all there is a giant silver sphere with a window on stage with words that light up according to the song as well as these UFO type of keyboard stands. Dave Gahan is looking sexy as usual in his black pants and a vest which he strips off at some point....showing off his sweaty tattooed body...and he struts and moves his hips gyrating and i'm damn sure this is what heaven feels like :) And of course the lovely Martin Gore looks spectacular in his fallen angel get-up. He has on all black of course as well as a kilt, feathered wings and a fuzzy mohawkish hat and sparkles on his face. He whips out a star shaped guitar for a few songs and i know i'm in love ... he makes me tingly :) The set list was phenonmenal as you can see up above....my favorites being Never Let Me Down Again & Somebody & Everything Counts & Home &....oh fuck who am i kidding i love them all :) I must say though the way that Martin sang Somebody was hauntingly beautiful it sent shivers throughout my entire body and brought Sly to tears....it's such a heartfelt and honest song.

We screamed and clapped and danced and had our arms in the air the whole time and i had not a care in the world. It was like we were five again and it was Christmas day. My whole mind body and spirit were there in that moment, which is rare. Usually i'm trying to do 10 things at once and my mind is wandering around....but for those 2 hours i was there, really there enjoying every second of it with my good friend and our boys serenading us hehe.

I have this ridiculous grin on my face even thinking about it .... the singing was spot on, the setlist amazing, the band was sexy and gorgeous as usual and the crowd had a great energy about them...it was perfect!!! Thanks go out to Sly for holding a Lottery :) We've been going to concerts together for years now .. back to like 1992 when we went to see The Cure's Wish tour...we're old pros at this and the times just get better and better :)

HNT, Mode and a new job

Alright so this week has turned out to be surprisingly swell. I found out Sly had an extra Depeche Mode ticket ... 8th row i must add ... and i shall be right there with her. It's very nostalgic for us as we have attended a few Mode concerts together dating back to 1993 & 1994 good times always.

As well i have been offered a position at my old place of employment which i accepted. For the time being it is a contract but just getting my foot back in the door is great. My old supervisor/co-worker is the head honcho now and told me if noone applied internally she already told the board it was my position and alas noone did so yay for me :)
It was funny though when i told my current employer of my plans i mentioned that i would have friday's off ... which i was very excited about a long weekend every week. She then suckered me into staying in my current postion just on fridays LOL, it's good to feel wanted. I actually felt validated today i must say like i've actually been doing something right for them to all want a piece of me :)

I also watched Bridget Jones to refresh my memory before i viewed the 2nd one and oh my i think i'm her LOL the resemblance is uncanny really... they granny underpants the few extra pounds her lack of tact...on and on the list goes.

As for my picture it is one of my ears as you can see. I do enjoy earings/piercings and have 9 altogether in various places. It is however getting late and i must get my beauty sleep ... i do have to be in top form for my darling Martin Gore tomorrow evening :)

Low pile carpeting vs disco bush.....

So there has been a lot of discussion lately between a few friends and myself regarding women and their sense of tidiness down there. I will admit that i have let the "carpeting" as Jennifer calls it, get a little untidy now and again. Unfortunately it is at the most inopportune times but i digress. Generally i like to keep in under control. Once i even went as far as to get one of those Brazilian/LA waxes....hmmmm you have no idea the level of pain that accompanied that experience. I think the woman doing it had finished like 2 strips when i tried to get up and say that was fine it was enough i didn't want anymore done to me....afterall why was i paying for the torture? Alas she finished the job and i felt much like i'd imagine a pornstar would feel with my little "landing strip" as they are called. I didn't want to go completely bare or else i'd feel like a 6 year old. It was an interesting albeit painful experience that involved a stranger near my genitals and popsicle sticks....Good times LOL.

I told my friend a funny story the other day about my at the time disco bush and she told me she has an appointment to get a brazilian. She sent me this in my email and said i should take their advice:

"Sexual intercourse itself doesn't feel any better or worse with a brazilian, but your new-found adoration of your pruned privet heightens your sexual confidence.
As well as sexier, you feel cleaner too. However scarce our English summers, when it is hot outside, you can be sure that you'll feel breezy, cool and fresh inside. So, now that you look neater, feel cleaner and more sexually rampant, why would you ever go back to a steamy, unkempt, full bush?"

Now i know what Jennifer says "low pile carpeting means high traffic area" ....

What does everyone else think....neat and tidy is better or let it grow au natural?

HNT

My appologies, i've been terribly busy and and it's so fucking cold outside *sigh* i hate the snow and i'm just on my way to volunteer but wanted to put up a quick HNT picture. Those are my eyes :)

I will copy one of the comments in my Embarassing Moments section though courtesy of Melissa that she just left me....it's good for a giggle.

She wrote:
I'm not quite sure if this would classify as an embarrassing moment to you at the time. but it was when you were drunk and were with Luca and I (a nice friend) allowed you to stay at my house. After your evening you came back to my house and had a lil trouble with my door locks and you had to pee and couldn't wait so you peed where my dog goes to the bathroom infront of the man you were dating for a short while....and the next morning my lovely dog smelled it and rolled all over in it!!!

Body Worlds 2

On Saturday my sister and I decided to go see Body Worlds 2: The Anatomical Exhibition of Real Human Bodies. Oh my....is all i have to say. I found it rather interesting/disgusting. Gunther Von Hagens is the inventor of plastination. Plastination makes it possible to preserve an entire body or individual tissues and organs that have been removed from the body of the deceased. Decomposition is halted by removing water and fats from the tissues and replacing these with polymers.

Anyway so there were preserved bodies displayed in many different ways as well as cases of organs and various body parts. It was interesting to see the effects of a stroke on the brain or an obese man vs a skinny man and all the muscles in our bodies. I recall laughing as we approached one specific case. It was a pelvis and a leg. This particular person had had a knee replacement. Also attached was his penis. The gentleman behind me had children with him and kept trying to keep their eyes away from the genitals by repeating "wow, look at that shiny knee, look kids, it's metal, wow, look at that knee" as the wife and the rest of us started to laugh.

As i said i found the exhibit quite interesting but it also really creeped me out. I think for most of it i had a look of sheer horror and disgust on my face as well as one of wonder. The one man had been sliced repeatedly but he had that funeral skin look and there was hair on his head and my sister felt the need to point out his sliced nipple....eek. I wanted to poke at him but i refrained. I do however wonder how the camel and the horse gave their consent to be a part of this :)

All in all it was a good educational experience. Many a time i have pulled my sciatica nerve not really knowing what it was, just that i was in pain...but this experience allowed me to actually see the nerve and to appreciate my body a little more. I really do need to take better care of it :)

If you want more information about this exhibit google Body Worlds ... I cannot get the link to work.

My sister and I also took a spin around the Science Centre. We looked ridiculous i'm sure hopping on bikes to make a light glow and having races on rowing machines. She of course won however she rowed for years but felt the need to boast about it throughout the day. We also did a simulated wheelchair race....before the minute was even up our arms were hurting so bad....i don't know how they can race like that.
Jennifer will appreciate this one....they have an aging machine so you can see what you will look like in 40 or so years. Asides from the fact that there was a huge lineup we did not participate in that one....I would rather die then see all the wrinkles that will be added to my already existing bunch.

Needle Exchange Programs

So i was reading an interesting article in the paper the other day regarding Needle Exchange Programs (NEP) in federal prisons. They began them in August as a trial to see if they could promote Harm Reduction within the prison system for Intravenous drug users as well as with tattooing. I think this is a fantastic idea. I also agree with Harm Reduction and it's principles. For those that are unsure of what it means....Harm Reduction is a service delivery model and a model for behaviour change. It encourages substance users to reduce the harm done by drug use, using clean works and such to prevent the spread of various diseases through dirty needles. As well, it provides users with a new needle for every time they use as some will use the same needle 20-30 times making the tip jagged and a feeding ground for infecions with the raw ripped skin.

I had a big discussion with my trainer on Halloween about Needle Exchange Programs. He was horrified by them, thought they promoted more drug use. I disagreed, people are going to do what they want to do, we can at least provide them with the tools to prevent further harm to their bodies. These NEP provide clean injection equipment in return for old or used needles and promote safer injections. They dispose properly of used and perhaps contaminated needles so they are not lying around the parks for kids to touch etc. As well, i know in Vancouver they had started Safe Injection sites for heroin users a few years back with clean facilities and medical staff on hand. Some of their goals included preventing the spread of infectious diseases and preventing fatal overdoses. I have not done any research as of yet into the outcomes of this place....Any thoughts on these programs?

NIN

Ah yes, so on Thursday i went to the Nine Inch Nails concert...good times, they were fantastic. However the gentleman sitting beside me was not. There was the aisle and then one empty seat and my seat and the rest of the row. I ask my friend if the show sold out and she said it had. So i'm wondering who is going to be joining us in the lone seat...perhaps someone that got separated from their friends. I see 3 people walk up towards us, 2 sit infront and a chubby man sits beside me. I'm assuming they are together but nope he's alone. Then he starts trying to make conversation with me and i realize he smells like a brewery. The funny thing is though that the venue had a liquor infraction and was not allowed to serve any alcohol for this particular concert. He must have been imbibing beforehand.
So he's stinky, unsteady and drunk and keeps trying to talk to my friend and i. We do our best to ignore. He then pulls out a mickey of whiskey and pours it into his pop cup...mystery solved. Nine Inch Nails begin to play and some poor soul decides to stand in the aisle beside him and he procedes to yap and yap. That person leaves and he turns to me and says "so have you heard the new cd?" I was like "yeah and i'm trying to listen to it right now" *give dirty look* and he continues to talk "so do you like it" i shake my head yes, give another dirty look and he stares at me like he's going to say something else but i ignore him. Ughhh we were hoping he would tumble down the stairs but we were not so lucky. He was my TYB courtesy of Dawn LOL.

As for the weekend, i met a cute boy last night :) Friend of a friend. Perhaps i'll give him a call.

Early HNT

Well as some of you know i did not get the job...everything was perfect it just came down to experience ... the other girl had more than me. Needless to say all of my co-workers are super pissed and i actually just got a card from the girl whose position was free wishing me luck and saying i would be the best at the job. I will have to remember to call her and tell her the news as she has moved to a different location. Of course it sucks but it makes me feel good knowing that i'm well liked and obviously everyone agrees that i'm capable of doing more than i am right now :)

As for my early HNT...i don't particularily always follow the rules and i found this funny story and an old glove that i thought would compliment the tale......and i'll be busy tomorrow at the NIN concert :)

The Glove Story

A guy decides to buy his new girlfriend a pair of gloves for Christmas....after all they've only known each other 3 weeks. Romantic yet not too personal.
Accompanied by her younger sister, he goes to Eaton's and buys a pair of gloves. The sister picks up a pair of panties for herself. But during the wrapping the clerk mixes up the parcels. The sister gets the gloves, they guy takes home the box containing the panties. Without checking, the guy rushes the suspect gift to his sweetie after drafting this loving helpful note:

" I chose these because i noticed you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade but the lady i bought them from showed me a pair she'd been wearing for the last 3 weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart. I wish that i was there to put them on you the 1st time. There's no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before i have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away, as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times i will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Christmas Eve...P.S the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."

After a While...

So quick update, i went for that interview last week, i finally had one. My boss asked me today how i thought it went and i said i was not sure. She assured me i did a great job in the actual interview and an excellent job on the written half. They are still undecided ......ughh. She let me know as well that the other women had previously worked in the particular job we are both going for as well she has extensive experience within the agency ahhhhhhh..... so i can only keep my fingers crossed...at least they are still unsure of who they would like.

Anyway i came across an old poem i had not read in a long time but i quite enjoy. I thought i would share it with you.

AFTER A WHILE

By: Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning, and company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts, and presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.

And futures have a way of falling down in midflight.

And after a while you learn that even the sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...That you really are strong.

And you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn...With every goodbye you learn.

The Pervert

That's my arm....not very exciting i'm afraid but i had to put something up !!


I read a funny blog about a man's crazy perverted old neighbour and it made me laugh as well reminded me of a hilarious story. I've been meaning to ask my sister about the details again but for those that know me....i'll never remember to ask. So i'll go from my shoddy memory of what she told me in the summer.

She was having dinner at her sister in law's house. The sister in law's father in law was there. He's an older Italian man probably in his 70's or 80's....minor details. Anyway so she's sitting alone outside with this man and they are talking about food. He mentions that he doesn't like sweets much ....but does like one sweet thing. So in keeping up with the conversation my sister inquires as to what this might be "like chocolate?" and he responds with "pussy" "i love the sweet taste of pussy" He then continues on and on with various stories about his genitals and women's breasts .... she was mortified but could do nothing but laugh as she was in absolute shock at what this man was saying. I asked her if she started to yell "inappropriate" at him....but she said she just laughed. When she recanted the full story i do recall my mouth dropping to the floor and i was crying i was laughing so hard. She also told my dad the story ... and he's apparently met the man....he however did not recall discussing this man's genitals LOL.

Bitchfest

Alright, so i applied for that job at my work. Now silly me, i've been employed there for over a year so figured myself to be an internal employee. Not so as i discovered today as i am not in the union. I guess they interviewed internally today for the job and so if they offer it to this person and i'm sure they would take it as they applied for it i'm SOL. If not then i have a chance at an interview with all the other external people. Good grief. Perhaps i'm just naive but who knew.

So now i feel like i'm back to square one and i'm wondering what to do with myself. My friend and i had a good chat the other day about life and how neither of us were prepared for all this shit. I mean here i am 27 with a part time job and i'm living at home. I need to establish myself as far as a career goes or even a good full time well paying job in order to feel like somewhat of an adult. I'm single and have been for countless years with no prospects in sight in that area either. I have been in contact via email with my mystery man and i guess the truth kind of sucks. I would have been open to dating him but he did point out in a very sincere email that we are very different in some fundamental areas that would not have the makings of a long term relationship. One being he loves children and wants them soon and I am not the maternal type as well there is the distance issue. He agrees that the attraction is there and we get along so well..... perhaps i am just lonely and was not looking at the bigger picture. Truth be told i'm starting to get really down on myself.....however having a pity party in my favour is not going to help me though i did shed a few tears this evening.

I recall an email from a friend of mine a while back, he was saying that he should be married with a good job and have a house and kids by this age.........where did i go wrong he asked. Now i don't neccesarily want those same things but i'm beginning to understand what he was talking about....I feel like a failure in many areas of my life...where did i go wrong???

The weekend

Ah the weekend. Friday i went to a friends and we watched Return to Oz...anyone remember that with the wheelers and the heads? Good times. Anyway so her husband gets a firecall and off he goes. She calls me the next day to let me know this girl had swerved to miss a deer and flipped her car numerous times and was preggers and may be paralyzed. Skip ahead a few hours and i'm on my way to a Rugby Beerup in the states with some friends. They begin to talk about one of their friends and how his girlfriend may be paralyzed. I pipe in and recant what i had heard inquiring if it is the same girl..... the three of them ask in unison "she was pregnant??" OOPS. So then of course i back track and was like "not sure." Insert foot into mouth. Ughh.

So we arrive at the beer up, i'm one of the few girls there. I felt like i was in an Episode of the Family Guy, they began to sing these politically incorrect songs.....like my mouth was on the floor from shock and horror but i was laughing at the same time, a guilty pleasure perhaps. The drinking continues and some of them wrestle, rip halloween decorations down, i see genitals, drinking out of shoes .....on and on. So now it's 6pm and we must depart for an all you can eat and drink fundraiser even though i'm sure we'd had enough to drink at this point.

It takes us a loooonnnnggg time to find this place and the guy driving goes down a one way street...the wrong way but we eventually arrive safely. So more drinking and eating and around 8ish i see this girl who came up with us but in a different car is rather unsteady, spilling her wine everywhere. I suggest she have some water but she goes to get more wine. Hands empty she turns around from the bar and boooommm vomits' everywhere. Ughhhh. So being the only other girl with them i must tend to her in the washroom and make sure she's alright. She eventually gets off the bathroom floor and there is vomit all in her hair, on her pants, hanging off her chin Ughhhhh. So it's like 8:30 i'm half in the bag and the bouncers say barfy has to leave. I did not come up with her but decide to leave with them anyway. It had been a long day.

HNT

I don't really think this picture needs much of an explanation, it's my mouth!! I feel extremely silly doing one of these HNT things.....so this will most likely be it.

I do however have another silly story about my mother. My nanny called one day and told my mother she kept hearing a beeping sound....something was wrong with her ear and she wanted to go to the doctor, it had been bothering her for days. My mom goes to pick her up and she too hears this sound and thinks it must be something awful. They rush off to the doctors, sit in the waiting room for over an hour and alas they see the doctor. He pokes and prodes at my nannies ear, doesn't see anything out of the ordinary, asks some questions. One of which is regarding her fire alarm....he believes the beeping is not IN her ear....but probably from the dead battery in her alarm which she needs to change. He sends them on their way with the above advice. Low and behold....it is the fire alarm beeping and making the noise. Now my question to my mother was 1st of all, how could she possibly hear the beeping coming from my nannies ear and 2ndly did the two of them not notice the beeping stopped when they left the house? She could not answer me as she was laughing so hard she was in tears.

TYB = There's Your Boyfriend!!!!

I remember the first time i heard those words uttered. I was on my way to a concert with my friend Sarah like 10 years ago and she yelled that out and pointed to the boy in the car next to us on the stopped highway. It's been the most entertaining game i've played ever since.

This is how it works. You're out with some friends and see a poor soul who for whatever reason is not looking so great...perhaps it's their hair like a mullet, a rats tail or really long Fabio hair on a man. Maybe they are wearing some appalling atire such as cowboy boots, overalls (check out PP's blog for her list of what not to wear she inspired this entry today) or spandex. Now i'm not even sure how spandex made the list.....for working out or sports it's ok, but to go shopping in or out to dinner ... oh my!!! This should be a known fact. Anyway so basically someone in my group of friends will see a funny looking person, could be their hair or clothes as i've mentioned or perhaps they are just funny looking for some reason and they will say "TYB" and we'll look and burst into a fit of giggles...not too loudly of course wouldn't want to be rude. We are generally subtle about it and then begin to ask silly questions to the boyfriends target "Hey look Ashley there is your boyfriend, what is he doing here" type of things. Childish & mean perhaps, but we never make fun of developmentally delayed or challenged people or anything like that. Just randoms that don't fit our ideals as far as appearance is concerned. I don't mean just generally average people or even unattractive ones....there's gotta be something there to make it a TYB.

We once had a rule that you had to go talk to your TYB. So one day Dawn whispered TYB to me and pointed to this skidly looking gentleman. Long hair, plaid jacket, big running shoes with the tongues hanging out rather unkepmt looking. I don't recall the rest, however i went over and asked him for the time. He ignored me the first time i asked and the 2nd time he told me he didn't know....he was wearing a watch LOL. Perhaps him and his friends were playing TYG (there's your girlfriend) and i was the brunt of it.

Does anyone else out there do this?

Updates

I spent the weekend in the big city. My friend had free tickets to the Leaf's farm team so we figured we'd check it out. We had seats six rows from the ice and the game was quite good few fights a million penalties and such. As well this man decided to start yelling at & slap another gentleman in the stands...who continued to watch the game, very bizzare but nonetheless entertaining. Mr. Slappy got kicked out.

The next day i decided to hang out with a guy who i had been on a handful of dates with previously but told me he was not into long distance relationships and that we could be friends.....ughhh. So i told him i had enough friends and that was the end of that. Skip ahead 2.5 months and he sends me a message. So here i am this weekend at a bar with him in Little Italy. Needless to say good conversation, drinks go down well and we go to an after hours bar i had always heard of but never ventured to. We couldn't seem to find the people with the hidden juice and mickey's in their jackets LOL so we continued on our way. It was fun and i haven't the slightest if i will see him again .... we'll see.

As for my whole "should i do the interview or should i not do the interview" ... i did not have a choice in the matter, no interview :( The woman who's job i would have been interviewing for was informed the job she was offered was now reposted as the woman who's job she would have taken had resigned. She had applied when it was a contract but it has now turned into a permanent position. So that made my decision a lot easier....i'm looking into dental school LOL. But as my current job is only parttime ... i may also be in the market for a new job as i'll need to save some moolah. Why did noone inform me life was going to be like this ughhhh.

Oh and i have a Halloween party to attend....any suggestions for costumes?

Mullets and a bad conversation

So i like the rest of you find mullets rather amusing. I'm curious to know if those that sport such haircuts know that many of us laugh and point and recant stories to our friends about what we have seen. For the 1st time in my life after witnessing a terrible mullet the other evening, i actually felt bad for the person.

It was this young kid probably 15 or so at a pizza joint. He was with his friend and they were pretending to play the video games and laugh at one another. Mullet boy however looked extremely awkward, tall and skinny, dodgey eyes, acne and yes i can't believe he had this as well but a teen stash. All of that is bad enough but factor in a mullet. It was short yet sort of curly on top but more in an 80's feathered type of way. Of course it was long in the back, but almost halfway down his back and then he started to touch it and play with it, putting it into a ponytail then letting it drop repeatedly. For once i did not laugh, but instead felt sad in a way. I envision a very tough future for him :(

So to the bad conversation part. I stopped by PP's house for thanksgiving desert and some wine on Sunday evening. Her family is there and i've known her for 26 or so years and get to see her family from time to time. She's often talked about them being racist and prejudiced but i had never heard them speak that way until that evening. So we're talking about my trip to Japan and how i loved it there when her Aunt pipes in that she has no desire to go there ever as "i don't like those people." She refuses to appologize for feeling that way as well pointing out that she's only drinking water and not wine like everyone else....though i'm sure she had some earlier. " i don't care i don't like them" "i don't even have any Japanese friends" she laughs and goes on to say she does not like Chinese people or Japanese people or any of those Asians. I'm speechless and PP checks the tags on her Aunt's clothes to find out she's wearing a shirt that was made in China. PP asks why she is supporting people that she despises so greatly to which Aunty replies that they are taking over the world. I suggest she try to befriend some Asian people and learn about their culture....though that would probably be a really mean thing to put the Asian people through.

Later on we're recanting this story to our friend Heather who responds to PP with "yeah, i remember talking to your grandfather and he told me he didn't like black people" she couldn't recall how it came up. We were all flabbergasted I cannot understand how people can be so ignorant.

The Future

So Jennifer would like to see a blog about the parking enforcement in her building.....i must say i am not a fan at the moment as i did receive a $40 ticket even after i actually registered. The funny thing is, i usually don't. I made the effort this time with one minor mistake I mucked up one # in my plate so technically my fault however they do not have to be such assholes about it. I wish i had a tale for you Jennifer of how i was able to get the parking man to swear at me :) but alas i do not. I've decided to dispute the ticket....it will be in the mail tomorrow. I did almost manage to have one of my clients swear at me this evening.......but that's nothing new comes with the territory of Social Work.

It does however leave me to ponder my future. I applied for a new job within my agency....but now i'm truly thinking of beginning again in a different field and not even going through with the interview. I'm not nor have i ever been thrilled with my job there and having a different position with essentially the same tasks....well obviously a lot more involved.... is not something i see in my future. So what to do what to do.

I'm going to look at a few different options. I've toyed around with the idea of Dental School for a Level 1 and 2 Assistant....I mean come on, you get to wear sneakers and scrubs all day what could be better? There's just that minor detail regarding math and science hahaha not my strong points, but i do have a willing teacher to guide me through it. I'm not sure he's aware of just how hard he'll have to work his ass off to help me.

Perhaps i'll finally get off my butt and go to Australia for a year on a visa....I'll be giving Nathan a call shortly to pick his brain and get some details on how fabulous the whole experience was for him.

And Jennifer, if they refuse to pull up my file and tell me that i still have to pay it.....you may just hear some swearing...though i'm not sure it will be from the ticket man.

Embarassing Moments

So i was in the midst of doing some laundry when i started to giggle to myself, fondly recalling some terribly embarassing moments i've had. Let me share.....

1) So i'm staying for the weekend with a friend. Often i will lay out my pj's before we go out as i am generally too inebriated and useless to find my stuff when we return from an evening out. So i leave my undies and shirt on her couch. Well, her roomate decides to have some friends over for a movie and when we return home, my undies are nicely placed on top of my shirt on a table. Now...not too bad you think, well these were those old, ugly, granny panites, with holes in them type of things. When i asked him about it in the morning, i guess he picked up my stuff but my underwear fell to the ground for all to view ..... I was mortified.

2) Another evening I'm out with the same friend for her birthday only i get so drunk i decide while we've ordered post bar food that i must leave at that very moment. She hands me the keys and tries to explain the locks to me as there are many (like Seindfelds door) but i grab the keys and wave to her that i'll figure it out. I get outside and i'm feeling nauseous. There are police behind me as there was a "slashing." I'm in the midst of hailing a cab while i hold myself up against a pole and begin to vomit in the street. Luckily, i finish by the time the cab pulls up and the driver nor the cops see me do this. I hop in and make it to the apartment. For the next hour or so i try desperately to get into her apartment to no avail. I ride up and down the elevator pondering what to do, feeling like i'm going to die. Thinking i've figured it out i go back up and try again. Well i finally get in and not 5 minutes later my friend shows up. I tell her what has happened and she asked why i didn't just buzz her boyfriend who was home in bed, he would have let me right in.

3) I asked my bald friend once when i was staying there if he had a brush as i had forgotten mine. He of course replied with "what the fuck would i have one of those for?" I said "but i thought you might have a guest brush"

4) When i was about 12 my parents and i were travelling out West and we had stopped at a local McDonalds. I had a bit of gas, however i'm all sure you're aware of those hard plastic seats. Well, needless to say i tried to fart quietly but it came out in this loud thunderous vibration. Everyone stared in our direction. My father then stood up, faced all the other people while pointing at me and delcared "it was her."

5) When i was younger i used to think that TLC song "i ain't too proud to beg" was "i ain't too fried to bang" and would sing it out loud at the top of my lungs until someone pointed out my error.

I'm sure there are a million more moments.......as i'm quite klutzy....anyone care to add any?

Mom at the Gym

So i've been a member of this particular gym for 2 years now. I am one of those people that will be extremely dedicated and go every day and then.....well you know how it is, visits become less frequent. Anyway, i've been quite good recently back at it lifiting weights and on that damn elliptical machine. My mother has often complained that she needs to start working out and get in shape. What better birthday gift then to give her a one month membership to my gym. I figured we could go together and motivate one another. Well, let's see, her membership began on September 1 and is up September 30 in 2 days. She has gone a grand total of 4 times. The usual excuses ensued "i'm very busy" "tonight is not a good night" "i'm tired" ...you get the idea.

So last night they had a hip hop class which i thought would be fun...arrived at the gym with mom in tow of course wearing all of her makeup. Turns out the class was cancelled so we decided to hit the weight room, first time for mom. Well let me tell you, i think my tummy had more of a workout than anything from laughing so hard. I showed her various exercises with the free weights, shoulders, biceps, triceps. She used the 5 pounds weights as her arms shook on about rep #7 "ohhhh my upper body is so weak" I then decided to show her some of the machines. My favourite part of the evening was when i introduced her to the squat machine, showed her the excercise and then it was her turn. We don't put any weights on the machine, just want her to get a feel for it first. She pulls the handles out and glides down to a squat position at which point she starts laughing and says she cannot get up. I tell her to just push up from her legs ... "i can't" she's laughing even harder and i'm in hysterics. I have to push the machine up with my hands while she tries to help with her legs. Oh man...enough with the weights. We decide to work on some abs before we go. I show her an exercise and she does quite well at it. Then the ball comes out. I sit on it, put my feet on the wall and show her a different ab exercise tell her to position herself where she is comfortable and steady. Mom gives it a try and repeatedly rolls off the ball laughing some more and declares " i hate that stupid ball" Clearly we are finished for the evening....on the way out she tells me that i should have showed her all of these weight exercises at the beginning of her membership. Gee if you had come to the gym more often i could have LOL.

See i'm not a princess

So i decided today was the day to stop being such a girl and learn how to do an oil change on my car. Now for those that know me....and i appreciate all the ... OMG you've got to be kidding, can i come and watch I want to see you jack your car up LOL ... type of comments, I too understand the sheer hilarity of the whole thing. See, as i mentioned i'm quite a girly girl when it comes to certain things. I have never ever in my life mowed the lawn. My mother and grandmother are avid gardeners but you would never catch me out there...all that dirt and all those bugs. Once i tried to help and pick up leaves in the garden, wearing gloves i might add and i lasted about 10 minutes...it was just SO dirty and filthy out there. Now don't get me wrong I clean and do other things i just dislike being dirty.

So poor old dad was my teacher. He showed me where the oil filter was "Jesus these damn cars" and went on to explain how my Japanese car was much more difficult as the filter is tilted vs straight up and how the oil was going to pour all over him when he took the filter off. Then he had to wiggle from beneath my car to put on his coveralls which was a bit of a feat. He has had 2 knee replacements and has trouble walking half the time, let alone crawling in & out from under my car. He of course did everything and i watched, but i did get under the car with him learning how to do everything for next time. We also checked all the fluids and topped up what was in need. We then did the "light inspection" i sat in the car with the lights on while my dad and brother in law checked the lights....and you know what? I discovered a set of lights i did not know existed LOL. Dad kept telling me to turn on the secondary lights, i had no idea what he was talking about until he came into the car and pressed a button i had never ever touched. My brother in law had a smirk on his face and my dad just shook his head from side to side.

Beware the Big Comfy Chair

Ok, so i've given in and joined the millions of other people in blog world (sound applause). Like i needed another reason to spend anymore time than i already do infront of this lovely computer.

However, this lady made me giggle the other day and i thought i'd share my story.
I was in Chapters reading this funny book about dating horror stories, but the woman sitting directly beside me was a bit off shall i say. As soon as i sat down she would not take her eyes off me, staring, which was a bit distracting, and then it dawned on me why the big super comfy chair beside hers had been vacant before i sat there. Every so often she would start talking to noone in particular, though perhaps she was trying to speak to me, i have no idea, i was there to enjoy my book not make friends and she was rather incoherent. She aimlessly flipped through a book, with a magnifying glass intent on the pages....would stare at me, flip, stare, talk, flip, stare, talk....you get the picture. Needless to say after about a half an hour of this, she got up and left. So just a warning to all those who frequent Chapters.... be weary of the big comfy chair.... it looks appealing but it may not be so great.