So it finally happened......I cried at work!

I was left alone (again) to see clients who may I remind you have charges such as manslaughter, robbery, kidnapping, aggravated assault. It wasn't intentional, but it happened and I've asked and asked how to fix this staffing issue and so have others. We never seem to get any answers. It's usually a "thanks for bringing this to our attention, as you know this is not a new issue and we are looking at our practices and how to fix the situation." It's all lip service as no solutions have been brought forth.

There's a myriad of other problems that I won't waste my energy venting about on here, but obviously there has been a build up of frustration brewing inside of me and I lost it. A co-worker popped in to pick something up "are you okay" she asked. I said that yes I was fine but she wouldn't leave it at that as she could clearly see that I was not. She asked again and I burst into tears.

A few minutes later one of the managers popped in unexpectedly on her day off. The poor woman walks into my office and asks how things are going to which I again burst into tears. She had to spend half of her day off talking to me and listening to my frustrations. I do like her and feel that she will at least try to do something to rectify the situation cause I know that she gets it....but time will tell.

Thankfully it was my last day in for the next week and a half as I've taken the last of my vacation time for the year. I probably would have taken a sick leave if I didn't have this time off as clearly I need to chill out and take a break.

Anyway, this cry baby is off to the States to do some Black Friday shopping!! And I do have a hot stone massage booked for next week! Cheers!

(Picture from this site)

I taped an episode of Dateline 3 months ago and watched about 2 minutes of it. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see and I was so disturbed by the images I had to shut it off. I saved the episode as I knew it was important for me to watch and was finally able to do so a few evenings ago.

Dateline gained access to mental institutions in Serbia that warehouse thousands of children and adults. Many are kept in cribs never to be let out. They often stop growing and their bodies become contorted and atrophied. Staffing is an issue at these places and many of the people are tied down to their beds for hours at a time. Doctors in Serbia encourage parents of mentally disabled children to send them to such places never to look back. The Kulina Institution holds close to 600 children and adults crammed into cribs. They have one part time physical therapist for all of these patients.

I was actually shocked by one gentleman on the program who cried repeatedly while telling his story. His son was born with Down syndrome and was sent away to live at an institution for the remainder of his life. The guy talked about wanting to see his son and how he thought about him every single day. Dateline found his child and I thought he would surely run out and save the boy after seeing the conditions he was living in. Not so......he said that he hoped one day to go and visit him. WHAT???? I was flabbergasted.....I still have no words.

I feel at a loss for what to do but something needs to be done and it needs to be done NOW!! I am in absolute disbelief that in 2008 developmentally delayed people are being treated this way. The institutions don't have enough staff and people are essentially caged until they die.

I want to hop on a plane right now and just hold them. Can you imagine a lifetime without human touch??? A haunting clip shows a young boy repeatedly punching his ears until they bleed. Many will self harm just to feel something rather than to feel nothing.

(Picture from this site)

Behind Closed Doors: An unprecedented look inside Serbia's mental institutions

I took the following few paragraphs from this website which I urge you to visit. It's an overview of the Dateline program I watched.

"As the geopolitical struggle over the independence of Kosovo from Serbia continues, with war never far from the minds of many, there is an unseen class of people in Serbia whose lives are at risk regardless of the outcome.
They are the estimated 17,000 mentally disabled children and adults who for decades have been systematically warehoused in remote, government-run mental institutions. They are facilities that are unknown to most Serbs, let alone the rest of the world — and perhaps for good reason.
In the course of a yearlong investigation, we gained unprecedented access to institutions across Serbia and found alarming, sometimes life-threatening, conditions. Adults and children — some with only mild symptoms of Down syndrome or cerebral palsy — were crammed into fetid rooms and metal cribs, their bodies often emaciated, atrophied or disfigured. Some had been confined to cribs for years, their bodies conforming to the small space inside the railings. "

This is what I woke up to a few evenings ago and let me tell you I was less than pleased. Snow already……seriously!!! Thankfully I’m a smart cookie and prepared last week for the impending doom that is winter:

Snow TiresRustproofing

I had no choice but to brave the roads last night as I had an important appointment that was scheduled a month ago. Fortunately I made it in one piece; unfortunately a drive that would normally take 45 minutes took over 2 hours due to the shoddy road conditions mixed in with a bit of rush hour traffic.

I listened intently to the radio for any news about accidents and such and saw a few minor fender benders but nothing too major. I did come across two cars in front of me twirling around thanks to the black ice that had collected on the road. One spun around two lanes and ended up facing on coming traffic; the driver managed to get back on track and pulled over. Pretty scary stuff considering it’s a major highway with 5 lanes of traffic. Thankfully they managed to come out unscathed though I held my breath as I passed that particular dip in the road. It’s not too promising when you see cars spinning like tops in front of you and others stopped on the shoulder of the road as they too had hit the ice moments earlier.

I really really hate winter!!

Goal List Update

Working On:

#5 Achieve BMI of 24.9 or less

Well I have been doing relatively well with this goal. From February - August I lost 30 pounds and from August until now I have been maintaining that loss haha!! After the accident I sort of took a hiatus from the gym however I am back at it and have the aches and pains to prove it. I've also stopped eating they yummy delightful food in the above photo. Seriously the best chip wagon poutine and shrimp EVER!!!

Or this ginormous fried panzaratti that could take a week to eat! How I miss them so *sniff*

#10 Learn to play guitar/bass well enough to play one song

I had my first guitar lesson last week and found it rather challenging as I had difficulty reaching my fingers around the neck due to my very small hands. Apparently they will "stretch out" eventually. I was a bit frustrated as I was hoping it would come easily to me and it just didn't. My teacher explained that everything is difficult at first, I guess I just haven't tried to learn something like this in such a long long time that I forgot I wouldn't be a pro at it from the get go. Baby steps Ash, baby steps!!

#35 Read all of the unread books on my shelf 4/35

I clearly need to finish one book before I start the next because right now I have 3 on the go. My new goal for my goal is to finish reading one before I start another one!

#41 Visit 15 of my placements at work 11/15

So as I mentioned previously this is no longer in my job description however an opportunity came up and I was able to visit 5 more placements. I just have to figure out how I can get the other 4 in!

Completed:

#13 Watch a Bond Movie

I borrowed two Bond films from my friend about two years ago (sorry) and I FINALLY decided to watch Goldeneye. It was quite as expected with a lot of fighting and action. I'll probably watch another one at some point in my life (perhaps the one 2DP had talked about...only for the naked Bond scene) but I'm not rushing out to rent them.

#51 Dye my hair a new colour (IE black)

Well I certainly did not go that extreme but I was ready for a change and got rid of the blonde. I'm now sporting a more brown/caramel colour. It's alright......I was actually thinking of doing a few purple strips again just for fun.

#64 Attend a movie at the theatre alone

I went to see the Changeling all by my lonesome and you know what...it wasn't that bad after all. In fact I'm not sure why I haven't done this before. In total there were about 15 people in the theatre 3 of which were alone. I did end up going to a matinee as I'm not yet ready for a Friday night solo however it was a super foggy/rainy day and I did think that the theatre would be a lot busier than it actually was. Phew I didn't see anyone I knew :)

#65 Go skinny dipping

Well this one is self explanatory so no details from this gal!! But I will tell you that I enjoyed it :)

I want to know your age cutoff for dating someone......I used to say (well I still do but obviously I'm kidding) 16-69 was fair game.

When does it start to get creepy? I'm 30 .......

Discuss......

I tend to embarrass myself every now and again when I've had a few too many drinks. Every year the bar that I play volleyball for has an anniversary party and every year I tie one on. They have a two hour customer appreciation window which may or may not involve free drinks. I only had two but I did continue to drink and drink as the evening progressed.

I went super early 7 PM as the friend I went with wanted to go for a few and leave by 9 PM. Well one thing lead to another and I left around 12:45 AM and she stayed until well past 3 AM. I took a liking to the singer of the band (which turns out is a friend of the gal I went with) and I decided I wanted a few photos taken with him. I wanted to be non chalant and danced with the owner of the bar positioning myself in front of the singer whereby LD would take a photo. Clearly as you can see I was anything but non chalant! Oops!!

Later on LD and G left me at the bar while they waited for the facilities. Next thing LD sees is the singer beside me at the bar and I'm taking photos of myself with his hat on. Nooooo idea what I said or how that happened but when she told me the story the next day I was mortified. Clearly I should never be left alone while drinking because my inhibitions fly out the window. I don't remember leaving nor if I said goodbye to G (granted she had no idea if she said goodbye to me either when we were chatting the next day) and I woke up in a dress shirt from my closet rather than the PJ's I had placed on my bed before I left. I was a disaster to say the least!

Ummm yeah......such a hot picture!!

I am going to have to see this guy again at some point and will want to crawl under the table when I do. Actually he will probably want to do the same thing to try and hide from the crazy drunk girl!!

For months and months I've had the TV show Departures taking up space on my Tivo. I love to watch such shows and wanted to be able to fully enjoy each and every episode. I finally got around to watching a few episodes and it really really makes me want to get out there and travel again.

It's a travel show based on two friends (Scott & Justin) and one camera man (Andre). They have taken a break from their regular lives, work, friends and families to travel around the world.

In New Zealand they meet up with a friend "Ellis" who puts them up for a few nights and takes them on many an adventure. This guy actually built his own home and has a huge shed outside full of outdoorsy type things. Buckets and buckets full of paddles, boats, motors you name it, he has it. Ellis takes them white water rafting, rappelling, snorkeling.......he even lets them swim around with the sea lions while he catches dinner. The man is amazing!! Scott and Luke often talk about how Ellis pushes people to step out of their box and go beyond what they feel is their potential. It was very inspiring to watch Ellis and see his accomplishments.....I obviously wasn't even there and yet he makes me want to try new things and test my boundries!!

The two go off on their own and decide to find any type of "extreme" activity. Justin bungee jumps off the highest place in NZ and both men go sky diving.

In Thailand Justin signs up for a Thai Boxing type of fight and of course is second guessing his choice later on as he's not a fighter. He perseveres and checks off yet another crazy adventure from his list. I mean really, how many of us would be in Thailand and join up to fight a professional in front of an audience just for the experience??

I still have about 8 episodes left to watch, Cambodia and India to name a few. I am really enjoying this show thus far as I love to see how other people live, the various cultures, the different foods and of course how people from around the world welcome strangers with open arms and great big smiles.

After all, we are much more similar to those living thousands of miles away than we think!!

Halloween is my favorite "holiday" of the year. I love the atmosphere with the crisp cool air and the beautiful colours of the leaves. Don't get me wrong I am a summer gal at heart.....but I do enjoy fall as well.

I was far too tired to actually go out on October 31st as I had just gotten back from a long working trip however there was a costume party on the 1st that a few of my friends and I attended.

Unfortunately one of the gals ate a four day old piece of lasagna and felt sick all night. The band played good tunes but didn't sound all that great, we had a good time nonetheless.

There was this creepy old guy who kept trying to sit with us and talk. He was clearly two sheets to the wind and put his arms around my waist while I was trying to walk by at one point. I yelled a few choice words but don't think it really mattered, he was wasted. Grabby hands fell asleep many a time throughout the evening.

I did love the costumes though and here are a few of my favs:

From afar I thought this guy was a giant condom, then I got up close and read his jacket. I thought it said something else and couldn't figure out why the swim team would be in hoodies....then M pointed out he was a giant sperm...ahhhhh...his jacket said "fallopian swim team"

Smurfette and myself

A giant hockey puck which I thought was an M & M for the longest time....clearly I need to wear my glasses while out in public

Ahhh the Paperbag Princess.....I love that story!!

Amy Winehouse, she looked great.

The Joker, he also did a really good job! He even had a nurse uniform on underneath his pants.

Our cab ride home was rather interesting. Our driver started to tell us some story about a passenger offering him a service while her boyfriend sat in the seat next to her. For some reason the driver took a liking to me and I was happy to get out of there as quickly as I could.

The next day LD and I were hankering for some IHOP. The last time we tried to go there was a horrendous lineup. This time we pulled in the driveway right beside another car and parked next to them. I swear it must have looked like we were on the amazing race trying to beat another team, we had our seat belts off, sunroof up in seconds and we bolted out of the car. We get to the restaurant and there are only a few occupied tables haha....but at least we beat them in!!!