I haven't had a great week......just dealing with paperwork bullshit that I shouldn't have to be dealing with at all. So rather then bore you with the details I've posted a few jokes that I think are quite funny. Enjoy :)

------------------------------------------------------------

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!' That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night' She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.' 'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.


The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.' She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

---------------------------------------------------------------

Cardiologist's Funeral

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral.........I'm a gynecologist." The proctologist fainted!

-----------------------------------------------------------

It's a long weekend for us here in Canada so to my fellow Canuks enjoy the long weekend.....to everyone else have fun at work on Monday tee hee!!

So KFC has a new "vegetarian" sandwich on their menu. It's interesting as I receive email message boards from an animal rights group where some members are to one extreme and other members are a little more lax with their choices. There was much discussion on this new sandwich that got me thinking about my choices.

There was a man dead set against supporting such a place even though they've agreed to kill the chickens more humanely and are offering a new option for veggies (vegans if you get it in a wrap sans mayo). He thought it was wrong wrong wrong and I don't have enough room on my next 10 blog posts to condense his thoughts. He was completely against supporting a place that killed animals end of story. There was a woman who believed that offering the choice was a step in the right direction and agreed wholeheartedly with the idea even though it was cooked in the same place as the real chicken. She felt that supporting the option would be beneficial to veggies as more restaurants may take notice and follow suit.

I am rather lax when it comes to my choices, I do try to have people use different utensils on my food when possible (IE at friends BBQ's) and that kind of thing but I'm well aware when I'm out in public and eating at restaurants that may not always be a possibility.

I have been debating about trying this new sandwich because of the whole fryer situation; which is actually silly as I know when I go to say Lick's they are not grilling my nature burger on a separate grill or anything. I will probably try it at some point.....I just hope that I don't like it too much as a deep fried sandwich will only hinder my weight loss goals haha!!

Has anyone tried it yet?? And if you are a meat eater would you consider trying it??

So I'm waiting in line at my favorite health food store for the cashier to deal with the woman in line ahead of me (who appears to have a million loaves of bread on the conveyor belt). She's mumbling something about the bread being moldy and this is unacceptable. The cashier calls a manager, looks at the tag on the bread and tells her it was best before July 14. Ummmm last time I checked my calender it was July 22.........8 days after the best before date.

The cashier explained to the woman that the product could not be guaranteed after that date....as well the woman didn't even have a receipt to boot and when asked of her purchase date she lost it. She started ranting about how this was unacceptable, this was inconvenient for her to have to come all the way out to return a moldy product, she's busy you know and this was the only possible day she could come back......and......she needed this dealt with immediately because her son was in sailing school and she had to go and pick him up pronto.

So there I'm standing in total and utter disbelief....seriously....you bring something back 8 days later and complain that it's moldy.....bread that let's be honest came from a health food store and probably doesn't have a wack of preservatives in it if any. I'm assuming that this elitist woman can pay for another $3 loaf of bread if she can send her son to sailing school. I felt like giving her $20 bucks and telling her to shut the fuck up.

I have no idea what happened as my purchase was dealt with and I left the poor cashier with the unreasonable dragon lady. I did give her a sympathetic smile and raised my eyebrows towards the bitchy lady. I would have piped up but clearly this woman just didn't get it.

It's been a rather uneventful week really except for one incident. I was rear-ended on my way into work which was really sucky. There wasn't very much damage to the car, mostly scratches, paint and a small dent approximately $230 or so. As well as the usual physical pain that goes along with such a thing, neck pain/lower back pain etc. I took the remainder of the week off work to rest as I was quite sore (still am in the neck) and I needed to take care of myself. This has meant a visit to the Dr's for some medication, a massage, laying in bed icing my neck and generally doing nothing. I was already in an accident previous to this about 5 years ago that did a number on my neck/back so needless to say I wasn't too happy about this as these kinds of things have a tendency to set me back quite a bit.

I was also struggling with what to do about the damage. It's minimal I get that.....but every time anyone has ever hit my car (I was parked on a street and someone rammed into me, I was hit while driving another time) I've generally had the "it's ok" attitude, not too much damage, don't worry about it......granted that was with my older car. I realize if I keep doing such things I'll be driving around a beat up shit box in no time and I'm sick of it. I don't really have any experience with such a thing insurance wise but I'm waiting to hear back from them tomorrow. I'm sure they will laugh at me regarding the small amount......but we'll see. Why should I have to pay a cent when someone rammed into me???

Other than that I've decided to stop reading blogs at work. I generally do it when I'm taking a break and have some down time, however it was hinted at our last staff meeting that personal use of the computer was being taken advantage of. No one ever came out and said anything per se, however my boss had written it on the agenda that we pass around just before our meetings (which we all read prior to in case we have anything to add) and then she never brought it up!! I'm assuming it was some type of hint and well......I'm taking it!!

I love love love summer!! I love the sun and the heat, lazing around on a lounger reading a great novel while catching some rays. I love getting together for an afternoon with friends playing beach volleyball and relaxing afterwards at a patio bar laughing over a few pints. What's better then the absolute stillness while you sink to the bottom of a pool without a care in the world. Okay that last one may sound weird but some of you may understand what I mean. When I'm alone in a pool I love to sink to the bottom and just sit there for a minute in silence. It's just so calming and lovely down there, so peaceful!

So to follow is my list of current loves/must haves for a great summer....or well anytime really!!

First and foremost is a Pedegg. It's this strange little contraption that quite resembles a cheese grater only it's for your feet. Apparently it's one of those "as seen on TV" gadgets which normally I'd balk at however this little devil works like a charm. I've never had smoother feet in my life!!



I've been reading Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I'm really enjoying her story. I'm not going to go into great detail about the book but it's almost a like a travelogue about a woman's journey after her divorce. She had many things (husband, successful career, great home) that many women would want however she was unhappy and unfulfilled. Following her divorce she decided to go on a journey around the world to find herself and happiness: "Pleasure in Italy, devotion in India and on the Indonesian island of Bali, a balance between worldly enjoyment and divine transcendence." (taken from the back cover as I haven't read that far ahead, I'm still in Italy). Thus far it's well written and I'm enjoying her adventure and self discovery. I mean how many people would just up and leave their life for a year to be completely devoted to themselves and their personal growth. Most would consider that selfish however I think it's a phenomenal idea.



What's a great summer without a little TV? Lame I know but I'm a TV junkie and had to get a show or two in there. Right now I'm into the Iron Chef which is a bit bizarre as I've never watched it much before. Lately though I can't get enough of it.......what will the secret ingredient be?? Apples....really....apples......whatever will they make!! I love it!! ( And I was impressed that Susur Lee tied with the Iron Chef) (pictured above)

My next greatest love is this wonderful Snapple Mango Green Tea drink!! It is so incredibly refreshing and unfortunately I've yet to see it in Canada so I stalk up when I head over the river to shop. Seriously, if you dig mangos and you like green tea go out and get a bottle!! You won't be disappointed. I could drink this lovely mixture all day long!

(I've never even seen a BBQ like this but it sure is fancy)

Lastly of course is a great BBQ. It's kind of like a staple in the summer, sort of like a nice raging fire in the winter. Everything tastes better on the BBQ, yummy corn, veggies with seasoning, dogs, burgers, toasted buns (did that make anyone laugh).........you get the idea. As well, often times friends will get together for a BBQ which is another great excuse to socialize and enjoy the weather with loved ones.

What are you into right now??

I have to let out a little steam so bear with me.

My building at work has been taken over by a large corporation thus my office must move in the near future. Spaces were looked at (by the higher ups) and a place was found that would "best suit our needs." Well staff got to tour this new space and to say I was unhappy about the situation would be an understatement.

My agency has less than 10 staff members, some of whom work out in the community so staffing has always been an issue as we need 2 people on site in order to see clients. Whomever picked this new place did one hell of a job let me tell you. Our meagre 10 staff are now spread out over 3 different floors.......yes you read that correctly 3 different floors and this new place is absolutely enormous. Not only is that an issue, but the few offices that are on the same floor are actually spread out sooooooooo far down different corridors and hallways that it would completely impossible if someone was attacking any one of us to run and get help.

We share many of the same clients and in our current setting it's quite easy to walk a foot and speak to a coworker about such and such a case or "hey so and so is here do you have a minute to meet with them." Oh and what about the time I had this 6 foot man standing over me screaming so loudly that my coworkers could hear it through my door. They called to see if I was alright and stood watch outside to make sure nothing else happened. I guess I'm on my own at this new place.

Oh and did I mention all of the outside doors will be locked in this new gargantuan building and we won't really have a reception area so clients will have to buzz their worker to come and get them at one of the many entrances......that's assuming they are literate and that they actually show up on time which is a rarity. Why just today my 2:30pm appointment showed up at 9:30am. And if I happen to be sick that day just who does my client buzz.....what about if a client is going to run in on their own time to pick something up when they get a chance sans appointment.....who the fuck am I going to leave the item with. "oh try so and so's buzzer and if you don't get them then try this person and oh if they're not in you can take the bus back home and come back another day." Currently I just tell them to pop by whenever they can and whomever is at the front will give them their item which I leave in the "outgoing" box.

Safety is first and foremost a huge huge huge issue as well as the lack of a receptionist (she will still be answering the phones). Our counsellor can't just tell someone to "hold on" in the middle of a session while she lets her next client in "oh your dad raped you when you were ten, can you just hold that thought I'll be right back."

This is going to be a nightmare and I can't even imagine staff morale not to mention how autonomous we will all become. I probably won't even see my coworkers for days nor will I even know if anyone else is in the office with me.

I know I know, change can be good and we should all embrace it, look at the positives yada yada. I'm sure the higher ups will look into some type of panic button etc, but that's not going to make me feel any better when I'm on a mile long floor all by myself and someone has decided to stab me. Nor will it be a treat when I'm in court saying that so and so didn't show up for their appointment and so and so tells the judge that yes in fact they were there, they just couldn't get into the fucking building.

Oh and did I mention that it's an old smelly church!! I am absolutely livid right now!

Camping...

Alright so my week off went very well as expected. For whatever reason my 30 something year old male friends think they are 19 and wanted to spend Canada Day having a beer at first call (11am) staying out all day and night until last call (2am). I joined in and spent the day playing a little beach volleyball and drinking beer after beer. The gals and I decided to head back to a friends place to freshen up around 7pm, grab a shower, eat and change clothes. I'm not sure if it was the change in environment or what but I started to get a terrible headache. From that moment forth I drank bottles and bottles of water and downed advil after advil trying to shake the bloody thing. We returned to the bar and T decided he wanted to check out the carnival. I joined in but wasn't much fun. He wanted to hit up some rides but the pounding just wouldn't go away. Finally around 10:30pm I gave up and LD and I tried to get home via cab which took us an hour and a half to catch.....no joke. I thought I was going to die on the side of the road waiting for the fucker to arrive. We even called one to a further location knowing it would be absolute mayhem in the bar area as they had just finished the fireworks and most people were getting ready to hit the town. The cabbie was probably the most friendly I've ever had and I felt like an ass as I just wanted him to shut up and stop being so chatty cause I was in terrible pain. It felt almost like a migraine was creeping in.

The next few days I spent with friends shopping in the States and having lunch after lunch after lunch. All you can eat Japanese....I'm in!!! Veggie Wraps by the beach....yes please!!!

I decided to go up north for a few days to a trailer for the weekend. My friends brothers girlfriends parents (did you get all that) own the park so we got a free place to stay and enjoy the wilderness. It was an enjoyable weekend and the weather couldn't have been better, it was sunny and gorgeous the entire time. We spent the day shopping and hit up Mariposa Market for some yummy treats. It's like this huge bakery with trays and trays of super yummy sweets. I bought these wonderful turtle brownies, delish!! We also hit up DQ for their brownie batter blizzard.....I'm drooling just thinking about it!

We of course stayed up until 5:30am drinking around the fire chatting and eating these awesome toasted coconut marshmallows!! I'm noticing a pattern here.....food food and more food!! Seriously I haven't had toasted marshmallows in years and these things kicked ass! We decided to go to bed when the sun was rising and the birds were chirping. Unfortunately I had a big skylight above my bed and wasn't able to cover it up. I improvised and used my bra as a sleep mask!


My friend has sleep apnea and recently got the scuba contraption to help with her breathing. She wanted me to try it on and I seriously have no idea how people sleep with this thing on their face wrapped so tightly around their noggin. I am EXTREMELY thankful I do not have to endure such a thing.

I hope everyone had a great Canada Day and 4th of July!! It's back to the grind for me tomorrow :(