Embarassing Moments

So i was in the midst of doing some laundry when i started to giggle to myself, fondly recalling some terribly embarassing moments i've had. Let me share.....

1) So i'm staying for the weekend with a friend. Often i will lay out my pj's before we go out as i am generally too inebriated and useless to find my stuff when we return from an evening out. So i leave my undies and shirt on her couch. Well, her roomate decides to have some friends over for a movie and when we return home, my undies are nicely placed on top of my shirt on a table. Now...not too bad you think, well these were those old, ugly, granny panites, with holes in them type of things. When i asked him about it in the morning, i guess he picked up my stuff but my underwear fell to the ground for all to view ..... I was mortified.

2) Another evening I'm out with the same friend for her birthday only i get so drunk i decide while we've ordered post bar food that i must leave at that very moment. She hands me the keys and tries to explain the locks to me as there are many (like Seindfelds door) but i grab the keys and wave to her that i'll figure it out. I get outside and i'm feeling nauseous. There are police behind me as there was a "slashing." I'm in the midst of hailing a cab while i hold myself up against a pole and begin to vomit in the street. Luckily, i finish by the time the cab pulls up and the driver nor the cops see me do this. I hop in and make it to the apartment. For the next hour or so i try desperately to get into her apartment to no avail. I ride up and down the elevator pondering what to do, feeling like i'm going to die. Thinking i've figured it out i go back up and try again. Well i finally get in and not 5 minutes later my friend shows up. I tell her what has happened and she asked why i didn't just buzz her boyfriend who was home in bed, he would have let me right in.

3) I asked my bald friend once when i was staying there if he had a brush as i had forgotten mine. He of course replied with "what the fuck would i have one of those for?" I said "but i thought you might have a guest brush"

4) When i was about 12 my parents and i were travelling out West and we had stopped at a local McDonalds. I had a bit of gas, however i'm all sure you're aware of those hard plastic seats. Well, needless to say i tried to fart quietly but it came out in this loud thunderous vibration. Everyone stared in our direction. My father then stood up, faced all the other people while pointing at me and delcared "it was her."

5) When i was younger i used to think that TLC song "i ain't too proud to beg" was "i ain't too fried to bang" and would sing it out loud at the top of my lungs until someone pointed out my error.

I'm sure there are a million more moments.......as i'm quite klutzy....anyone care to add any?