Alright, so i applied for that job at my work. Now silly me, i've been employed there for over a year so figured myself to be an internal employee. Not so as i discovered today as i am not in the union. I guess they interviewed internally today for the job and so if they offer it to this person and i'm sure they would take it as they applied for it i'm SOL. If not then i have a chance at an interview with all the other external people. Good grief. Perhaps i'm just naive but who knew.
So now i feel like i'm back to square one and i'm wondering what to do with myself. My friend and i had a good chat the other day about life and how neither of us were prepared for all this shit. I mean here i am 27 with a part time job and i'm living at home. I need to establish myself as far as a career goes or even a good full time well paying job in order to feel like somewhat of an adult. I'm single and have been for countless years with no prospects in sight in that area either. I have been in contact via email with my mystery man and i guess the truth kind of sucks. I would have been open to dating him but he did point out in a very sincere email that we are very different in some fundamental areas that would not have the makings of a long term relationship. One being he loves children and wants them soon and I am not the maternal type as well there is the distance issue. He agrees that the attraction is there and we get along so well..... perhaps i am just lonely and was not looking at the bigger picture. Truth be told i'm starting to get really down on myself.....however having a pity party in my favour is not going to help me though i did shed a few tears this evening.
I recall an email from a friend of mine a while back, he was saying that he should be married with a good job and have a house and kids by this age.........where did i go wrong he asked. Now i don't neccesarily want those same things but i'm beginning to understand what he was talking about....I feel like a failure in many areas of my life...where did i go wrong???
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16 comments:
you didn't go wrong
everyone has downers in their life.
i just wrote this whole big comment, but decided it was crap
so instead i'm going to paraphrase
i'd love to help without coming out with all the typical cliched BS, but i can't so...there is a man out there for you and you will meet him when it's time (sorry i don't have his number)...work will get better...life is a learning curve...
i'm talking from experience, thing do actually get better
btw, where's your HNT this week? i was looking forward to it
take care
Thanks PX, as for the HNT i'm housesitting and do not have any pictures of myself here. Maybe next week. I'm going to a showing of the Rocky Horror tonight and may dressup...perhaps i'll put that up :)
Ahhh...Ash. You didnt go wrong. Who says that anyone has to be anywhere at a certain time in their lives.
Look at me. I've been in failed relationship after failed relationship. I love my field but cant find one job in it, so decided to come back to school, and start again.
I feel like I have nothing...I barely even have any friends left in windsor, and the ones that I do have, have been SO wonderful to spend all of their time with me.
We're all going through this mid 20's crazy crisis....and it's Shitty...it really is. I at times feel like i have wasted a lot of time, and feel like I have no direction. Its so discouraging.
I still love you!!!
I have felt all the same things you are feeling and am still stuck on that road. If it makes you feel better...I have MANY friends that are in the same boat. We are all in our late 20's. Single, no children, not in the job we'd like to have, not with the life we'd like to have. And it's kind of depressing. (especially since I just had my 10 year class reunion.) But I just have to remind myself that not everyone takes the path of marriage and family, etc right away. More than likely some of those people are envying my responsibilit free life. That's what I keep telling myself anyways...
rocky horror rules
i so want to see that!
i was going to make a comment about failed relationships, but i can't remember what now
Do you mean you want to see the interactive play because you've never seen it? I do love it myself...and as for a comment about failed relationships, i'm used to it....they just don't seem to work out for me, so i'll feel bad about it for a while and i'll move on.
Ash, I cried for an hour and a half on Saturday afternoon about exactly this stuff. The BF thinks I'm nuts, of course. I feel like such a failure in life. If you could see me at work, it's pathetic. I want my fairy job-mother to come down and wave her magic wand and put me into my perfect job. Perhaps, things will all come together for all of us, and we'll look back on these things that happened in our twenties and remember to be nice to the mail clerk at the office, and the waitress at the restaurant, and not get arrogant. But, I'm having a hard time visualizing it right now.
I actually bought my first lottery ticket last week because I was so miserable. And anyone who knows who reticent I am about gambling will know what a desperate mood I'd have to be in to do such a thing.
OH...What's going ON lately??? Everyone is so depressed. Its a little disconcerting....especially knowing that Jenny bought a lottery ticket...the whole WORLDS gone mad.
Is it because we're all approaching 30? But if thats the reason, why is everyone so depressed all of a sudden at the same time?
Is it because Winter is coming? I wonder why all of a sudden everyone is so gloomy about the future.
I think we're all just unsettled and feeling blah, like there should be more out there or we should have done more at this point. To be honest when i was younger i always thought 30 was sooooo old and wanted to be dead by the time i was 30, no joke. So maybe that's what it is for me...i'm approaching that age with what i feel are no accomplishments thus far. I don't even mean like what society says we should have by now marriage, house, baby etc. I would just like to feel happy at this point. Thankfully Jennifer has plans for our 30th bdays :) I can guarantee winter will be an issue for me as well, i actually counted 16 days in a row with no sunshine last winter :( i'm going to develop SAD i know it. I guess my big task right now is figuring out what will make me happy and how to get it????
yeah i've never seen it and i would love to, but i was referring to seeing you all dressed up
i still can't remember what i was going to say, but you can bet it was going to be inappropriately funny, so if i were you i'd just tip my head back about now and laugh like a loon because you would've been anyway
PP, you should have seen me buying it! It was hilarious. First I got one of the accountants at the office to explain all the different choices of lottery ticket to me and which one it was that was offering the record high prize. Then he started telling me about the options on that ticket, then we got into this big debate about the cost vs. benefit of getting Encore on the ticket. I was saying 2 dollars for 40 million and then an extra dollar for 100,000. Why wouldn't you just buy two tickets for 40 million then, what's the point of Encore? He insisted that there was a point to Encore and that I was overthinking the whole thing.
So I finally go to the store, but not the one I usually go to, I went to one I've never been in before where no one I know shops, and I was all nervous. I got in line and after all of that, everyone was buying lottery tickets and I just said, "the same please."
Why am I so weird? I don't know. I'm not even embarrassed to buy condoms.
Do you guys remember the story about the time I was buying a huge box of condoms at Costco? (For anyone who doesn't know what Costco is, it's a huge discount wearhouse where you have to be a member to shop, and they sell everything from fresh fruit, to mattresses to car tires to eyeglasses, to DVD players all in the same store.) We're in line already and I ask the boyfriend to go back and get a box of condoms, he goes, can't see the pricetag and comes back without them. So I go and I look high up and low down, can't see a price. So I turn around and there's a counter there, with a guy wearing a white lab coat. So I hold up the huge box of condoms and I say, "Excuse me, how much are these condoms?" And he starts looking really embarassed and he starts blushing and backing away from the counter and waving his hands. I'm just staring at him waiting for the answer and he points at the sign over his head and says, "I work for the photolab!"
You're like me when I tried to buy a donut for the first time...what a disaster that was.....and never again I tell you. I havent even attemtped to buy a donut since then...too complicated.
And As for costco...you know how I feel about stores that sell meat and furniture side by side.......NO THANKS!
I love one stop shopping for lettuce and snow tires!
i'm with the zombie lama on that
and where are the rocky horror pics?
Haha Zombie Lama and PX perhaps if you are nice i will describe the class in detail for you guys. As for the pics, i only have the one from last year and have not scanned it. Is my arm not enough :)
PX i do have the headshot of my Mrs. Mia Wallace costume :)
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