My co-workers and I were discussing children a few weeks ago and how innocent and carefree they are. One woman watched as her young son invited a child over to play that he had never met before....they laughed and dug in the sand and had a great day. They didn't know one another's history or anything at all about the other and yet they were instant friends. Why is it as adults we want to know so much about someone as and before we befriend them?
We want to know their history:
Have they ever been married
Do they have kids
What was their childhood like
Did they have a good relationship with their parents
Any addiction issues
The list is endless. The youth where i volunteer told me about this card game Bismark that you learn in jail, so if someone knows how to play Bismark run for the hills. Why can't we be more like children and just accept each other as is regardless of all the baggage that may be attached?
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10 comments:
Ah, darling, that's because, as adults, we realize that if we aren't careful and don't find these sorts of things out about one another this past "baggage" can spring up and confront us in some unpleasant situation in the future. Let's take the "Do you have kids?" question (just as an example) -- Let's say that you were with a guy and didn't know that he had kid(s) from a previous relationship. So, you are moving along fine and then WHAM! one day you come home and there's some nasty, disrespectful teenager sleeping on your couch, eating you out of house and home, throwing wild parties into the night and God knows what else. Even if you WERE okay with this, wouldn't you want to know this up front? I could do the same thing for any of your possible questions. But, yes, I agree that we've become too cynical and self-centered. Nobody is perfect and if you love someone you have to love their flaws too. But, it helps if you are at least warned of these potential flaws up front.
That is so great...I love kids. It's like seeing things through brand new eyes.
We always need to find something about someone to hate, very weird.
I guess when we grow up, we judge people of opposite sex from a sex perspective and people of same sex as competition. We dont know sex or competition when we are kids and we are more open to other kids. we havent developed egos yet, and we dont hold grudges. We fight and scream and cry and tell mommy and get it out of our systems. When we grow older we keep lots of stuff to ourselves!
Oh but the money is better grown up ;)
well did you find out how to play bismark? i need to up my street cred by knowing these things...
"yeah, let's play bismark!" i'm so tough!
My best friend when I was little was this Greek boy from across the road. He didn't speak English, I didn't speak Greek, and we got along great. My mom says we'd play for hours, each yammering on, neither of us being remotely concerned that the other didn't understand. When we both went to kindergarten and he learned English, our relationship was never the same.
SS yeah i agree in a situation like that it's certainly something one would want to know.
Lindsey it's true they are so innocent, they hopefully haven't been jaded yet...well most of them.
BB it's rather bizzare isn't it?
Yrautca, i agree to an extent but i think i was trying to say that our innocence is lost, why can't we just walk up to another adult and say hey, let's dig in the sand and just enjoy the company.
Sly i will ask the youth tonight to teach me and i in turn will teach you.
Jennifer, a perfect example of the point i was trying to make.
So true, kids rule for that reason. They just need us adults to put fear and prejudice in to them so we can mess up their lives.
Scott
We're too cynical...although if I meet a new gay man, we become immediate friends. LOL!! Maybe im just picky about the straightys..LOL
That's the problem because every year you roam the Earth you just pick up more baggage, and most of it is like ugly luggage - you can't get rid of it.
I think that's why a lot of people have kids is because they hope for some reason that theirs will be able to break the cycle.
A nice thought I suppose.
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