Well that about sums it up! I got....oh wait for it...yet another rejection. It shouldn't be surprising as this happens to me all of the time. By all of the time I mean about once a year. You see I generally meet someone that I am interested in about once a year. It may be because I'm picky or too ugly that no one wants to talk to me, I have no idea, but that is usually the time line. The date/meeting/talking or whatever is almost always followed by some type of rejection......"I've met someone else," "you live too far away," "I'm dating 3 other people right now and if you want to be #4 then you're in." I must say though that I am grateful for the rejection. I have yet to be strung along or phased out by anyone so I suppose that's a bonus. I guess I tend to pick thoughtful people who do not like me, at least I have good taste :)Remember the lovely divorced man, yeah there was no date. We met at the wedding, he called the next day to ask me out and at the time dating was the last thing on my mind. I was on my way to a wake/funeral when I spoke to him and was out of town the following week. We texted, chatted in between and he told me he would give me a call last night. True to his word my phone rang and off we chatted. I thought he was calling to ask me out....he was actually calling to tell me he had met someone around the same time as me and didn't want to date two people. He was trying to be nice by making the call as we have a few mutual friends and he thought that was the best thing to do. Fair enough and kudos to him for being honest. But what the hell?? Why couldn't I have been the girl to get the chance? I felt like Meredith in Grey's Anatomy when McDreamy is trying to decide between her and another girl and she's standing there yelling "pick ME, love ME."
Well, they never seem to pick me so I shouldn't be surprised. It felt good at least to be hopeful for a few weeks. I really truly have no idea what it is about me that is so horrible, clearly there is something but I have yet to figure it out. My self esteem has been peeled away layer by layer each year. There is a very tiny thin part still in tact and I'd like to keep it that way so I will definitely be keeping to myself for the next little while.
15 comments:
well ive only met you once but you seem like a wonderful person. Very unloserish.
Yeah I know coming from me that means nothing but I gotta say something.
Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. And I think the boys around you are the losers, personally - you are funny, hot, talented, kind.... If they can't see that, then something's up! Fools!
Cxx
Oh girl...I am so sorry! Let me tell you something though. You are a. not ugly and b. seem to have a wonderful personality, sense of humor etc, so POOO on those stupid boys!!! Mr. Right has just not entered the scene yet. I am hopeful, yet jaded at the same time. ha
This guy is crazy for not going out with you. When it doesn't work out with the other girl, he will be sad he let you (a very pretty lady - I've met you twice) go!
Maybe you need to ask out more guys, take more risks? If you let the guys come to you it could take awhile.
And we've ALL been rejected. Remember I recently got ignored over text messaging. We gotta keep on trucking!
WIGSF, I never thought I was a big loser...but I think I actually might be.
Claire and Jlee, thanks for the kind words ladies! It's just so frustrating.
Rawbean, I hope she leaves him heartbroken ;) and you're right I do need to be more proactive....but with who LOL everyone around here sucks.
Well, that pretty much sucks. Sorry that that happened to you. Love is a fucking tough thing to find. Don't give up though, gotta keep on moving forward. It is all that we can do.
Honey, make no mistake about it, you're fabulous. Most men are idiots, which is why it's so hard to be a single girl. It's not you, it's them.
Rejection is soo not easy. I think it was adult of him to be honest. I've had a few incidents where people didn't even explain themselves.
I've had the same thing happen to me. A guy I was dating didn't want to date me and another woman at the same time. I think the problem is this:
1. People assume one date is supposed to automatically lead to something serious eventually. Duh! That's why it's called D-A-T-I-N-G. It's about trying out different models. There's nothing wrong with dating more than 1 person.
2. I know it's hard, but try to look at it this way. I'm sure you've had to reject someone. Some people prefer cherry pie over apple pie, but that doesn't make apple pie any less tasty! The fact that he is lame does not make you rejectable. It still means you're funny, smart, interesting and darn purdy. It could mean he isn't the right guy. Frankly, he kinda sounds like a pussy.
Those are my two cents, and I haven't even met you. :)
Hey Miss Ash, I have never met you...but I highly, highly doubt that you are in actual fact a "loser".
Finding the right person is not exactly easy, I think it has a lot to do with timing and reaction. About a decade ago, the guy I'm with now, was snatched from under my nose...I was not in the right place at the right time. Two years or so after my "rejection", I met him again and I was aggressive, it worked - we're still together. Looking back, if we had gotten together the first time we met - it may not have worked out (going to school in different provinces, was still in dating mode etc).
Anyways, sometimes chances come along when you least expect it, and being proactive is a huge key! Although you may feel crappy now, another opportunity is walking around the corner...and continue to be picky...you want what you want for a reason.
I wouldn't base any judgements on that scenario, and like most people around here can easily say you're far from loserish (which I don't think is a word).
To a degree, it's a law of averages thing and if you're really putting yourself out there maybe once a year, then that's tough because it's awfully damn hard to find someone to actually date versus being the 3rd or 4th person they're hooking up with.
Anyway, whether that makes sense or helps or not, I would say that putting yourself out there is a lot better than locking away as you have to keep the possibilities open. Definitely.
Fuck him...really. I wouldnt look at it as there's something wrong with you, i'd look at it and say "Whew!! I dodged a bullet on this one!!!"
Divorced...AND A KID? I think the real question here is "Whats wrong with him?"
What qualities does he possess that sent his ex running for the hills AFTER exchanging vows to love each other until the end of time?
I love you...marry me instead! :o) hahaha
I'm going to have to agree with Sly and PP. You are 100% fabulous and I met this guy too, it doesn't seem like you missed out on a great prize, however it still sucks to be rejected. The last guy I put myself out there for just dropped off theface of the Earth, so I guess I'm a loser too, if we're going with that rationale.
I agree with LD on this one! We're all losers then...but we sure are fabulous!
Scott, it is tough and it does suck!
Wiwille, awww so sweet and you made me giggle with that last bit :)
Sly, thanks love!! I am fabulous aren't I :)
IG, I was very thankful that he was honest about the whole thing so that was a positive. As for the dating thing....exactly....I'm all for dating more than one person at once, how are you supposed to know what you want if you stick to one person.
Nayway, you're right about timing and I believe that everything happens for a reason....I'm just wondering WHY the same thing keeps happening to me for an unknown reason LOL!!
2DP, you're right, there will not be any possibilities if I'm locked away by myself snuggled up to my Tivo. I need to be more proactive about this....once a year was pathetic, I should be dating weekly :)
PP, haha, we never got far enough for me to ask what happened with their marriage...though I do believe he said "when my wife divorced me" which makes me think it wasn't his idea.
Dawn, you make me giggle. I can't wait for a weekend of relaxation and drinking with you and the boys!
It sucks that you're having such terrible luck. You shouldn't be hard on yourself, though. Have you ever considered that you are so unloserish that it intimidates guys? Maybe if you were more of a loser, you'd have better luck. :P
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