So I was at the park recently with a child (not mine obviously) and it was absolutely barren, just the two of us which was nice. No screaming kids running around and lots of room for us to play. Anyway a work truck pulled up and I recognized one of the workers as a guy I used to go to high school with. We were friends, hung out a bit and lost touch once everyone went their separate ways to Uni/College.

I saw another girl that I used to work with 10 years ago at this same park about a month ago. I avoided her at all costs....not because I didn't like her....but because I hate seeing people so many years later as I've grown a bit sideways instead of vertically and am terribly self conscious about it. I also hate small talk and answering trivial questions about my singledom.

Back to high school guy, clearly there was no avoiding this interaction as it would have been far too obvious had I jumped behind a tree or crawled under the jungle gym. There were no crowds to get lost in....so of course he came over and said hello. We did the usual pleasantries, where do you work, what's new etc. Of course the conversation turned to relationships:

HSG: So are you married?

MA: No

HSG: Are you seeing anyone?

MA: No

HSG: Really? Come on Miss Ash, why not? You gotta get out there!!


He then went on to talk about his baby that is on they way etc etc etc. It was nice running into him.....but made me once again feel inadequate as you see I get asked this question all of the time by people I haven't seen in a long time. My answer is always "no" and they always wonder why.


I used to volunteer at this place and became friends with one of the workers. He moved jobs, I stopped volunteering and we lost touch for a good year. Anyway, we eventually reconnected and he was like "for the love of God please tell me you've had a relationship in the past year" cause he had had a few and had even been engaged in the few years I had known him and yet I had always remained single. Same answer "nope" he was like "WTF??"

What the fuck indeed sir!!! There's a point to all of this.....I swear. So I have a friend who has joined a few dating websites and she's been bothering me to do the same. She's also told me that I have to go on at least one date before the end of this year. I was also talking to a fellow blogger about this and the possibility of trying the whole online thing. We both know a few cool couples who have hooked up this way which makes me feel a bit better.......like there are some interesting (not creepy interesting) but interesting cats out there. I'm sooooo close to giving it a whirl but I have a feeling my self consciousness will take charge and I'll end up with a shitload of internet friends as I'll refuse to meet any of them due to my insecurities. Bah!! What to do what to do.......