Bleh!!

I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and i'm going to be happy in it.
-Groucho Marx-

I've been in a bit of a funk this past week. My 29th Birthday is fast approaching which I am certainly less than thrilled about, however i'm not sure that's the problem. It's more of an uncertainty with my future that is gnawing at my soul.

My usual demeanor and the way i present myself is staggering at best. I hadn't noticed it myself until the woman who works in the cafeteria across the street mentioned it to me. It was a place I had not even been to in well over a month. On this particular day i wandered over for some breakfast, placed my order and she stared at me "What's wrong Hun?" "Nothing" I replied "Why?" She commented that i was not my usual chipper self and continued to stare at me with concern in her eyes. I shrugged it off to the early hour, smiled and wished her a good day. Crap, even virtual strangers are noticing. So I decided to write down some of the things that I enjoy, if nothing else, they will put a smile on my face.

*I am truly captivated by long summer days. I adore the feel of the bright warm sun shining down upon me, the smell of fresh cut grass and blooming flowers. My Aunt loved to garden and when such days appear, I am thankful to be alive and a witness to such beauty, one she can no longer see and I appreciate my life.

*Underwater is where i feel most at ease and free. The silence is almost deafening. A certain peacefulness envelops me and i haven't a care in the world.

*I love to sit in my backyard with a cup of tea, great book in my hand and watch the sun set. There is nothing more delightful.

*I live for warm summer nights, the soft grass on my back, gazing up at the stars as the crickets sing. The realization that the world is so much bigger than each and every one of us. We seem so small and inconsequential in these moments.

Life can be overwhelming and painful at times, but it's these simple moments that bring a smile to my face and I appreciate one more day. Groucho had a point...tomorrow has not yet arrived, I might as well enjoy today.